What do dreams really mean anyway?

I had a dream. In this dream I was standing in line with my script. I suppose they had my lines on them. I didn’t look at it very closely. There were a few women in front of me and I was peeking around to see the woman currently auditioning for the part. It was not going well.

I heard a voice off stage. The director. She kept asking for a softer, calmer voice. The woman auditioning was attempting to follow the direction but could not make her voice do what the director was calling for.

I knew I could hold that voice. A voice that is strong enough to lead but soft enough to invite into the arms of community. It was my part and I didn’t have to fight for it or worry if someone else would be better than me. It felt like I just had to wait my turn and then I would naturally be given the part. Because it was mine.

When I woke up I decided what it means for me. I have a voice. It is perfect for me. Some people are calling for a voice like mine to fill a void. The best way for me is Forest Therapy. There are lots of voices out there and some may even be saying the same things I am. But a different voice saying the same thing in a different way is what learning is all about. All the voices work together.

Melody is everyone singing the same thing. Harmony is singing the same song but in a different way that works together. Harmony is so much richer sounding and feeling. I have my harmony part to play. To contribute to the wide array of voices already out there. My husband has a beautiful and unique tenor voice. I like to sing alto. When we sing on Sundays in the middle of a bass and soprano, it all works together beautifully.

My voice is soft and calm. That is exactly what some people need. My voice is behind the times. Seriously, does anyone start blogs anymore? But it is exactly the correct timing for me and my audience.

I also dreamed of my Grandpa Julseth the other night. He was younger than I remember him. He was so happy. And I hugged him so very tight. He wondered why I seemed so attached to him. It was as though, to him, there had been no time apart. In life he understood me better than anyone else. When I felt unseen. He saw me. I sensed this connection still existed.

In the years before Grandpa died I experienced very low self esteem. I took so many things straight to my heart and carried them there for years. I had a fear of missing out. And constant fight or flight in social situations. He helped me through my early teen years. More recently, I have been able to see through the fog of my pre programmed thoughts. And now I see I have a voice. It is perfect for its timing and audience. There is no need to rush into or worry about being behind. There are so many ways to start this work I have been doing. One suggestion is to smile at yourself in the mirror, say I love you, and really recognize and appreciate your beauty as it is today, not what you want it to be. This takes time to not feel weird.

This has made a difference for me. I can say that I love how I look. I love being me. I’m enjoying getting to know me better. This blog is witness to the fact that I am finding my voice in this work. If you are willing to put in the effort it can make a big difference for you too!

What does your voice need to offer? You’ll need to be very still to hear what is calling to you. Will you find out in the forest? Join me on a Forest Therapy walk to see what is calling to your soul.

Some things are worth the effort, my sweet friend. You are. You’re worth all the effort.