From where I stand, I see a lack of research, understanding and basic human compassion when it comes to women’s health issues in our current system.
My first experience where I can look back and see that lack in my life was when my oldest son was under a year old. It was the middle of the night and he and my husband were asleep. I was on the floor of the bathroom trying to figure out why I was in so much abdominal pain. Something felt seriously wrong. I had never had this type of pain, let alone something that would put me on the floor in the fetal position. I called my mom and she suggested going in to get checked. I woke up my husband and he grudgingly woke up our son and we all got in the car.
We sat in the ER for way too long and eventually I got into a bed. They did a quick history, took some blood, listened to my guts and declared:
I had gas.
Are you kidding me? Gas is what felt like it was killing me slowly? I felt so foolish for putting my husband and son through an overnight party that nobody wanted to attend. For gas. I didn’t go to the doctor much after that. Unless I knew what it was and how they would be able to treat it. I suffered through a lot due to the embarrassment of that experience.
But it wasn’t just gas. Now I know I was developing severe endometriosis and likely due to the hormone changes of pregnancy and nursing, my symptoms were exacerbated. But nobody can see or diagnose that. So they say it’s gas because then there is an answer. An easy answer that ends their responsibility to care for me. I probably did have gas. But around organs so inflamed I never wanted anything to touch my belly for years after. I thought that was normal. It’s just gas!
After years of working around the issue I finally made the call to have a hysterectomy to end the pain and other issues the endometriosis had caused by having so much scar tissue and thick linings after years of neglect.
Now I am the owner of a body that cannot regulate its temperature. So that’s fun. After my hysterectomy I knew I could not take hormone replacement therapy. When I used it in the past it loosened my muscles. This is a bit of an issue with my body since my ligaments don’t work unless they want to. Muscles are what hold me together. When I take HRT I become the bendiest of noodles.
When I told the doctors I couldn’t take the hormone replacement medication, they literally laughed at me and said, ‘yes I would’. They guaranteed I’d be back for it.
They knew what I was in for and I was clueless. But I did not sense compassion. There was no seeking out another way for me due to my circumstances. There was just a sense of, you have no idea what you are in for, haha. Menopause has always seemed something to keep under wraps but also to laugh at the ridiculous nature of those sufferings its effects. It would have been encouraging to see a doctor offer a direction, instead of only relying on their basic training and rolling their eyes at my arrogance at denying their prescription.
I was in for temperatures rising so much in the first days that I honestly thought my butt was on fire when I sat on our leather couch. For those blessed not to have experienced such things, a hot flash is not something to look forward to. I thought it might be seeing as I’d been cold since the age of 12. I was wrong. I’m still cold. And then I’m so hot I have to take off layers and sit down and I sweat. Then I cool off and I’m soaked. These days it’s not so bad but in the early days, I’d have to stop everything and lean on something and breathe through it like a contraction. But there’s no baby at the end so that’s always disappointing. I couldn’t sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time. Again like having a newborn but I did not smile down in love at my lack of uterus to counter the side effects as you would a baby. This went on following my recovery from surgery and for the entire next year. To say this had an affect on my health is an understatement. I still sweat like the guy in red on Star Trek. Thankfully, other symptoms are not as extreme.
I hope in years to come, more resources will go to women’s health issues since we are half of the population. An important half if I do say so myself. And as we knew all along, and as it has been recently confirmed, we are actually equal to our male counterparts. Make some space, Fellas!
Until such a time as all systems and doctrines catch up to that truth, my suggestion for this week is to build your team. I saw doctors for years before I’d get fed up with them and then take more years before I’d get the energy up to start finding a new one.
Now I make sure that I am getting my time’s worth out of a doctor. Some are worth my time and energy and some are not. But this is not the end of my team. I have a counsellor, a marriage counsellor, an energy massage therapist, a physiotherapist, a reiki therapist, a holistic health professional, a functional medicine doctor and an integrative medicine doctor. I am always keeping my eyes and soul open to other options. Although, I am finding the more I am in the forest, the less I need each of these professionals.
Whatever your pain. Whatever your limitations. You are worth someone taking the time to show compassion and slow down their day enough to think about you in your doctor office time. There are such doctors out there. I went to a walk- in clinic and while prescribing my routine medication I had inadvertently run out of over Christmas break, this extremely busy minor emerg doctor stopped what he was doing to ask if I had any joint pain and if that’s why I was taking this particular med. A conversation ensued which ended with him sincerely saying he wished me well and hoped I’d find some answers. He would be on my team if I needed a family doc.
Keep going. Keep sharing your story. Find peace in the forest and answers will emerge.
If you are interested in joining me for a forest therapy walk, head over to my contact page to book in.
Take care out there, my sweet friends!
SUNBEAM ACRES 