My two year old grandson was happily playing in the yard. I was happily watching him. I love to see how his little mind works. And in this particular instance I got to see a bit of myself in him as he struggled.
He has a little cart that he pushes around. He was attempting to go around the patio table. In his way were the bags of bottles that I should have been returning to the depot instead of watching him play. It is so much easier to ignore the chores as ‘the grandma’ than it was as ‘the mom’.
At first he was frustrated but I sat back to see what he would figure out. He wandered away and then started moving the bags of recycling from one spot that was in his way to another spot that would be immediately next in his way. Of course his little 2yo brain couldn’t see this the way I could.
He was so calm and focused on the task at hand. I sat back to see how he would handle the upcoming challenge.
It was time. His little plan had been executed flawlessly. Now he was going back to attempt to push his cart through again. He was so happy. He got past where his path had previously been obstructed. Only to immediately be blocked. He saw his error. Panic ensued. His hands flew to his face and he stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at me with dismay in his eyes.
Of course I flew to his aid. We worked to put the bags in a better spot until the time Grandma stops playing and gets to the bottle depot. He grabbed his cart and around he went.
How often do we try something and when it doesn’t work the way we expect we panic and stop trying? I have been guilty of this useless response many a time. My little grandson is still figuring things out. I don’t judge him for his response. But I saw so much of myself in it that I have been thinking about it since.
I have a good idea. It doesn’t go as planned. I panic. I stop. I give up.
Good ideas are the way to start. Planning to watch it fall apart might also be the process going perfectly. It is over this period that you get to see what is working and what isn’t.
I applied this to my perceived progress as a human being. I am always trying to improve but when it doesn’t go as planned I often feel a surge of stress leaving me in a bundle of singed nerves. The improving is timely and correct. The not going as planned is timely and correct. The only thing going wrong that I have control over is that surge of stress. I can control the surge by controlling my thoughts around my circumstances.
Maybe this is how the sequence should go. Attempt one. Utter and abrupt failure. Thoughts. ‘Well that didn’t go well’. ‘Maybe I should adjust.’ Attempt two. Less abrupt but still utter failure. Thoughts. ‘I have learned how to avoid some of the pitfalls. What do I still have to learn?’ And so on. The wording may seem elementary but it gets me pointed in a different direction.
Dr Daniel Gilbert said, “Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished. The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you’ve ever been.”
I am trying to remember in my moments of panic. When I realize I have done something wrong/ stupid/ careless, that this is part of the human experience. And it is passing and fleeting. And EVERYBODY gets things wrong at times. We are all disasters trying to look like we have it all together.
If you can see the humor in your error, even better! But all in good time, the subtle art of laughing at one’s self is taking it to the next level.
Some of your efforts are going to tank. And that, my dear friends, is actually things going perfectly. Make adjustments. Try again.
So much of my time growing up was spent worrying that I was doing things “wrong” and that someone might see. Much of my young adult life was spent hoping nobody would notice I had no idea how to be a mom. I have spent so much of my time in chronic pain thinking I must be doing it “wrong” because I’m not getting better. I can’t get to a plateau of healthy like everyone else.
I just kept feeling wrong!
Until I found healing in the forest. This, I know how to do intuitively.
“For beauty give me trees with the fir on” -Henry David Thorough
Being in the forest increases feelings of awe, wonder and gratitude. In the forest we can relax the overworked brain and just be. There is no wrong here. The only thing that has to be done is to take your next breath. And unwind. Soften. You can let go here, the forest has your back.
When things in life go awry, take a moment, and when you are ready, make the next plan, schedule the next attempt, put yourself back into the arena regardless of the possible flop.
And remember to have fun with it!
I absolutely agree with Sarah Ivens who says in her book Forest Therapy, “We need to be reminded of just how good puddle jumping and mud cake baking, tree climbing, squirrel chasing, blossom breathing, and forest foraging feel. Because nature really is the best medicine.”
Playing in the forest can prepare you to integrate play into your day. This can open your brain to overcoming the challenges you face. And when you see it as play, the challenge is more of a dare. I double dog dare you to spend time playing in nature this week. See if it helps your daily living.
If you need help finding ways to use the forest as your friend and guide, reach out to me on my contacts page.
The obstacles you face will always have an answer. It just might not be resolved at your first undertaking. Keep trying and take care out there.
SUNBEAM ACRES 