Healing from Trauma: My Journey

Allow nature’s peace to flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.

-John Muir

Chronic pain, illness and fatigue all come to us with a certain amount of trauma. In my experience medical gas lighting also played a key part in that trauma. There are so many ways we take on trauma through life, from slight to extreme. The experiences that have triggered that trauma for each of us are as varied as our fingerprints. But there are a few key points that you will take away from today’s post. I consider what happens to us when we experience trauma and pain. How I started my healing process. Signs that you are healing. And how to continue to support the ongoing process.

👇🏼How about a reason to work on healing from trauma and its associated triggers?👇🏼

Before we dive in, make sure you are following me on Instagram. Facebook. And X. Soon to be up and running, my YouTube channel! This year featuring videos of forest therapy in different Saskatchewan forests. That’s Saskatchewan, Canada for anyone outside our region. Stay updated on all things forest therapy that I have planned for this year.

In this post I discuss trauma. I am not an expert. I have no training in trauma recovery. What I can speak to, is my own experience. If you have experienced trauma and you need support, reach out to a trained professional. If you suspect you have wounds bigger than you can handle on your own. Counselors and therapists are wonderful at helping us heal wounds of the past. When that healing work is under way, join us in the forest for exponential growth and learning.

If you are one of my chronic comrades, those with chronic illness, pain &/or fatigue. You will know what I mean by the trauma that comes with those diagnoses. They are essentially a life sentence. A full time job with no benefits, no pay and you can never quit or get fired. While there are tools and techniques to manage chronic disease. There should still be a time to mourn the life that you had planned. It will look different going ahead. Eventually that will be okay. Take time to acknowledge the hurt. Then work towards acceptance. Forest therapy is great for this type of healing work.

If you are as lucky as I am, with an endless list of chronic diagnoses. (Only one more and then I have the whole set!😏) And if those diagnoses took time to acquire. And strike three, if those illnesses are invisible. I expect you have experienced medical gas lighting. If you are not familiar with the term, gas lighting can happen in any relationship. In medical gas lighting, a medical professional dismisses symptoms or concerns and writes them off as normal. They suggest the patient is exaggerating, imagining or overreacting. If you’ve ever left a doctor’s office feeling misunderstood. Or concerned that you will never get treatment or care for a serious ailment. You may have been a victim of medical gas lighting.

Like everyone else, I have experienced trauma in different ways. I have had medical professionals give horrid advice with disastrous consequences. Leading me to feel misunderstood and under- treated for what I was going through. Like everyone else on the planet, I have gone through my fair share of trials and rough relationships. Life comes with trauma. I have also experienced the trauma that no child should ever face.

For healing to take place. I practiced inner child work. That can sound like a myth or mambo jumbo to those who are not familiar with how it works. I don’t want to take too much time today to explain how to do inner child work. I will unpack this topic in a future post. For the purpose of this week, just remember this. Inner child healing was part of the work I did to heal from trauma. It helped me reconcile with past traumas. When I say ‘inner child’, I mean the parts of you from the past. These parts still need some help. They are stuck being young and scared.

When I did this work. It took being present in the moment and in my body. Healing didn’t start until I felt safe in my body, being still. I couldn’t talk or think my way out of the shell I had created around my utmost unresolved hurts. In my healing I had to take time everyday to be present. To like myself. Eventually I found a way to love Me. I had to feel safe spending time with me. To breathe. To feel my feet on solid ground. And to know this is what is real and I will be okay. This work is amplified in the forest. That is what worked for me.

I expect part of the reason I needed this type of healing work was because of chronic pain. When it is always present one tends to push it out of mind. Being present here and now means feeling the pain of what is present here and now. I chose to be somewhere else to escape the chaos in and around me. Now I know better.

Chronic pain is its own trauma. To begin to understand how the nervous system responds to ongoing inescapable stress. Managing pain and managing trauma have to go hand in hand to manage EITHER.

-Dr Glenn Patrick Doyle

Trauma breaks parts of our selves. Basic thoughts get flipped around. Life is good becomes ➡ life is painful. I am safe becomes ➡ I need to always be on high alert. I can trust others becomes ➡ I can’t trust people.

No one tells you how hard it is to rewire your brain. It is challenging to allow amazing things to happen after you have experienced trauma. Healing takes constantly and lovingly reminding your own brain that life is sweet. Soft places and people are everywhere. Miracles are already happening for your good. Accept them.

As adults we are capable of going back to rewire traumatic moments. For example, I had an experience as a young teen on a school bus. I felt attacked and trapped. There were so many negative feelings from that moment of my childhood. I hung on to that memory with its associated negative emotions. Through inner child work, I was capable of going through that moment with adult eyes and adult understanding. Our wounded inner child needs the support of a conscientious parent.

Nothing against any parents out there. We all did our best. We couldn’t be there for every hard moment. We weren’t supposed to be. This is all part of the process. Of learning and growing. As an adult we can go back for those parts that still need healing.

Below I list some of the things we automatically say to ourselves in those triggering moments. This is coming from the wounded child that lives in each of us. She is starving for this work to be done. The second column is what you should say to your inner child. (As I said I will take a deeper dive into this topic in a later post, this is the teaser😉.) You can use the statements in the second column to say to your adult self now as well.

For example, if I make a mistake in my blog, perhaps I have written something incorrect. If it were pointed out publicly. Despite my best efforts. I might initially listen to my wounded child (what others refer to as an inner critic) and become flustered. Instantly the thought goes through my mind. I am flawed and there is something wrong with me. Without inner child work through trauma healing, that thought would stand. I wouldn’t stop to assess the truthfulness of the statement. As a mature adult I can see that is not the way I should talk to anyone. Certainly not a young child, which parts of me are still her. I have more work to do to bring all the parts of me up to speed. It takes time and effort.

When I change my words that I say to myself. I suit them for a young child or anyone I love. In this space, growth can occur. I would change to say these words, Mistakes are part of learning. Everyone makes mistakes. We are all human. With those thoughts at the forefront, I have seen my inner child. She feels accepted and can evolve. See if there are any wounded child statements that sound familiar in the chart. If you notive yourself using any, I recommend changing them. Use words a loving, conscientious parent would say to your inner child. The words also apply to your adult self now. Use them internally to begin the healing process.

Wounded Child	Conscientious parent
I’m flawed, there is something wrong with me	Everyone makes mistakes, we are all human.
I need to make sure everyone is happy	It is not your job to manage other people’s emotions, only yours
I need to hide how I actually feel	It is safe and healthy to feel your emotions
I need to be perfect	Making mistakes is a part of learning
What I have to say isn’t important	It is safe to be heard and seen, your thoughts and opinions are valuable
I need to hide my mistakes	You do not need to hide, I forgive you
I am invisible	I see you and I hear you
Life has been terrible to me	I am so sorry you had to go through that, look for examples of a beautiful life
I am weak	You are perfectly imperfect, powerful beyond measure
It is all my fault	What someone does to you is never your fault, especially as a child
I dealt with it wrong	You did the best you could do with what you knew at the time
I am all alone	It is okay to feel lonely sometimes, but you don’t have to, I am right here
Everything I do goes wrong	I see you trying the best you can

I saw a word and it ignited in me a desire to do better. To keep working on my inner child healing. From trauma. Medical. Regular growing up stuff. And the stuff that never should have happened. The word is Latibulate. It means to hide in a corner until the situation improves. While I confess I have been a ‘latibulator?’ (not a word) in the past. I am now out of the corner. In the situation. Doing what I can to improve. And a significant measure of that has been improving my inner self talk.

When your nervous system is pressuring you to make every decision based on risk management, as opposed to your actual values & goals, you begin to lose yourself. You end up living a life that has nothing to do with you. Trauma recovery is a “you” search & rescue operation.

-Dr Glenn Patrick Doyle

The best part? It can all be healed. And the effects will significantly improve your overall life. Watch for these signs that healing from trauma is occurring.

7 Signs you are healing from trauma

• awareness of your trauma and what triggers an emotional response in you
• ability to maturely express your needs and emotions
• awareness and gaining control over negative self talk
• take time for regular check ins with yourself
• learning how to build healthy boundaries
• seeking help when stuck
• REMEMBER: healing is not linear, we wish it was, but it is not!

I share many things in my blog and on social media about my journey. Forest therapy has been my way through. It is the answer to so many of my physical and mental issues. It has supported me as I rewired my nervous system to one of calm and happiness.

If you need help healing from the trauma associated with chronic illness, pain and fatigue. Life trauma. Or traumas of a greater nature. The forest has answers. Forest therapy is a way to slow down and allow natural healing to occur. I facilitate the walk and guide through invitations. And nature does its work.

But look! You are a forest and no matter how many wildfires burn you down you’ll always find a way to grow back.

-Lena Frias

If you want to join me on a forest therapy walk you can contact me @ pam.munkholm@gmail.com to inquire. I will have options and prices listed in the coming weeks on my homepage. Walks begin the first week of April. I love to get out in the winter. And yet, this year has been so icy. I can’t risk another fall.

I will be hosting group walks in different locations in and around Saskatoon all spring, summer and fall. If you are seeking regular weekly walks or one and done. All are welcome. Or you can sign up for my six week program. More information to come. Remember to subscribe to the blog and find me on socials. sunbeamacres.

Much appreciation for making it to the end. I hope this helps someone❣