Pain never arrives alone. It always brings with it strength and resilience.

-often attributed to Maya Angelou

I am in a flare. My latest fall, leading to my latest physio adjustment has me looking for the knot to untangle my insides. It is not stress. I do not just need to go for a walk. In adjusting some joints back to their intended position we uncovered the really ugly spots. But not until a couple of days after I left the appointment. So now I wait. While the flare moves through my system and interrupts my life.

I expect to be out on the trail as soon as this flare passes. There are some bio-mechanical issues to be sorted out. Then I can show those who are interested in booking a forest therapy walk, what we’ve been discussing here. Follow me on social media. And subscribe to the blog to be the first to know when booking is available. I am so excited to show you what this is all about!

What to Expect on the Blog:

What is a flare? How can you support yourself or another person in calming a flare? and How can forest therapy help? These are the questions we will be exploring together on the blog today.

Pain Flares: When Your Body Goes Off Script!

Flares comes in all shapes and sizes and for so many reasons. @ferociousfighters defines a flare as “A sudden exasperation of a disease. Different from the day to day variation of symptoms that patients with chronic illnesses experience and is characterized as large and rapid increase in a patient’s symptoms.

Flares can be triggered by physical stress, psychological stress. Traveling or other schedule changes. A change in the weather or medication. A common illness, interrupted sleep. Overexertion.

A description of nitroglycerin comes to mind. “Unfortunately, nitroglycerin was unstable. If you dropped it from a small height, it’d blow up. If it got too hot, it’d blow up. If it got too cold, it’d blow up. Even placed in a cool, dark room and left alone, it’d eventually blow up” (Elder Dale G Renlund). I am nitroglycerin. I always end up blowing up into a flare. Despite my greatest efforts. My chronic comrades will relate.

Sometimes there is a reason. Sometimes it is totally uncalled for.

The Not-So-Amusing Tale of My Not-So-Epic Fall

This time, I triggered the pain by a fall, which is causing a flare of so many symptoms. In sharing this experience, I do not seek your sympathy. But your understanding for all those who suffer.

This is how my flare looks this time. It all started with a “minor” slip on March 17th. I was taking my grandson for a walk in his wagon. It was a day that had a skiff of snow on top of the melting ice. I should have known better.

Suddenly I was on the ground. I knew instantly that I would need an adjustment. Joints had definitely shifted. James waited patiently. I’m sure he wondered what game we were playing.

During the first wait to see my physiotherapist, my pain level stayed around a 4. During the evenings and the worst of it I was up to a 7. I saw my wonderful physio and she adjusted a few areas.

Unfortunately, I missed a spot that needed adjusting. It’s difficult to sense it all until all the joints settle into place from the main adjustment. I share all this to say, since I realized something was not right since that adjustment. I have been living at a 7 and getting up to a 9. The discomfort is one thing. What it does to my body is what triggered my flare.

This is my layman’s understanding. My little stabilizer muscles are working overtime to hold me upright. The muscles that are supposed to be doing that job are stabilizing joints that are not set correctly. I have a constant headache while I write. Something is pulling on the back of my neck.

The Empty Plate: A Restaurant Running on Fumes!

Let’s say my body is a restaurant. All of my joints are my employees. The joints that have settled incorrectly, all those employees have called in sick. They are just trying to hold their own little spot together. So now I have multiple areas that aren’t doing their job. The rest of the employees are left to try to hold the restaurant together. As it goes on and on the strain and exhaustion on those few employees that are left builds.

While this is happening in my muscles, my easily overwhelmed nerves are taking some of the fallout. All of the upset clients coming out of the restaurant are complaining to them, if you will. (Me: okay nerves I’m going to need you to take some of the strain. My nerves: (crying, laughing, then igniting the nitro) Me: 😳😑)

The restaurant looks fine. The tables are set as though all is well. Meanwhile this is happening:

Window of Tolerance: The Fine Line Between Zen and Zany!

I expect all of us are familiar with the window of tolerance. There is a space where I am emotionally secure. Triggers come and go but with self acceptance and emotional resilience, I am okay. I can stay comfortable within that window. When I go over that window of tolerance, I am hyper aroused. I feel as though I will explode like a volcano. When I go under my window of tolerance, I am hypo aroused. I feel down and depressed.

When I am in a flare, that window of tolerance is very small. I am easily over aroused by sounds and lights. I like my slow times of the day that help me focus. I am also easily dragged down by my thoughts. I think of all the things I could be doing if I were well. I see others living their dream and I want to live mine. Knowing this window of tolerance is small and taking care of myself, becomes indispensable during a flare.

I Need a Nap So Bad, I’m Already Tired Tomorrow

Last week I described different types of sad. Here are some different types of tired. Can anyone relate? Beat, I just want to sleep all the time. Drained, my thoughts and energy leak out of me like a leaky faucet. Apathetic, it becomes really hard to care about the needs of others. Frazzled, when I can only feel buzzing and everything needs to stop. Broken, too tired to do anything but not so tired that I don’t miss the things I could be doing. Wiped, when there is nothing left of me. Zonked, can I repeat what I just said? No, I have no idea what we were talking about. Burned out, I am crispy and short with others around me.

How to Pamper Yourself When Life Throws a Flare!

During a flare. Take care of you. Whatever feels right. Cold or heat. Being propped up with blankets or going for a walk. Find the right balance for this time. I’d love to be out and enjoying this actual spring-like weather today. But for now, inside is the place to be. But I am loving seeing the blue sky through my window and feeling the sunlight.

It is important that the right people know what you are going through. Your people will be there to support you. Let them know what you need. Do not cover up pain with those people. There are levels of okay and not okay. Stay in tune to your body and in touch with your people. “I am currently eggshell-fine. Doing okay but easily crushed.”

Wear the right clothes. Eat the foods that will nourish and that are easy to prepare. Take time for doing nothing. Where your body can speak to you. Wear the slippers. Say the affirmations. Sleeeep. And then sleep some more.

Your worth does not change with what you can or cannot do. Your worth is and always has been great. Even if your house is covered in dog hair. Even if your meals are subpar at best lately. Your tired body is worthy. Your misfiring brain is worthy. Your yearning heart is worthy. You have worth. No matter what you can and cannot do. Truth be told. That may be more of a pep talk for me than anyone else.

What do you have in your flare basket? Mine has fuzzy blankets. My housecoat. Slippers. Essential oils. Tea. My Spotify flare playlist. An eye mask. Noise canceling headphones. Epsom salts. Snacks. Water. Pain killers. And the all important hair ties. Full disclosure, I have no basket. But this is what would be in it if I were to make one. What am I missing?

As we discuss ways to move through a flare, I find this graphic very helpful. See if it speaks to you:

Branching Out: Forest Therapy for Flare Relief

How can forest therapy help? I don’t know about the rest of you but I want to live this lady’s life. Wrap me up and set me by the water. With my bare feet on the sand and the sun on my face. Feeling the steady lapping of the waves as I watch them roll in. This is healing.

It doesn’t take much to get a lot out of nature. Her gift is freely given with love. During your own flare. Or when supporting someone in a flare. When struggling with any number of life’s conundrums, find a space in nature. Take time to be quiet. Time to be still. There are multiple exercises that I can lead you through when you join me. This enhances the support and healing of nature.

BRIVET (British)- to wander an area or look through items without purpose, often in a sneaky way.

With me or on your own, find your space in nature. Use all five senses to connect. Breathe deeply. Find your center. Relax. Bare skin to the earth. Sense the vibrancy and wonder.

This is Forest Therapy!

Soak your life
with wildflowers 
and rivers.

Breathe in honey
and the moon.

Bring in softness
wherever you can. 

Softness can carry you 
over the sharpest
of grounds. 

Like wind and water.

-Victoria Ericson