Understanding Clean Pain vs Dirty Pain in Chronic Illness

Today I will be discussing the topic of clean pain vs dirty pain. A concept I’ve seen a few places. I have heard it best explained by Jody Moore. And I would like to explore the topic of how that can show up in people with chronic pain. I had the opportunity to practice what I preach this week. Find out how that went. Then I discuss grounding and how to incorporate it into your everyday life.

Clean Pain and Dirty Pain: A Delightful Distinction in Discomfort!

Clean pain is the unavoidable emotions that come with life. Losing a loved one and the sadness that brings. Getting laid off from employment might bring up emotions of shock, anxiety, and anger. Clean pain can manifest as emotional or physical pain. It is important to recognize and move through clean pain.

Dirty pain is essentially anything we do to avoid clean pain. Feeling anger at a family member for choices they made. Avoiding a relationship so you don’t end up hurt. Dirty pain will last longer. It is not a way through. But a way around.

Navigating the Nuances of Pain and Hurt

How does this manifest in people with chronic pain? How do we divide the regular pain we experience from the pain of emotions?

Talking with a friend or therapist can help you determine when you are feeling pain that you need to address. So much of this life is putting pain on the back burner. Ignore it until I can deal with it. Ignore it because there is nothing to be done but to ride out this flare.

But clean pain is important to experience. It is how we move through difficulties.

Practicing What I Preach

I had an opportunity to practice this concept this week.

I have seen more than one friend or acquaintance accomplishing major milestones. They are putting in the work. And they are starting to see a payoff. I wish them well. I really do.

Have you heard the raindrop theory? “The idea that small moments shape everything. A single word. A kind gesture- they may seem insignificant. But over time, they carve out entire life paths. Just like raindrops, tiny things can change landscapes, if you let them.”

Some days I want to be that person. That carves our paths of kindness and love. But other days I count to 10 and throw a punch on 8. Nobody expects that! It can be frustrating to feel stuck in this cage of a body. It holds me back from things I’d have liked to try and accomplish for myself.

Pushing Through: Not on My To-Do List!

I bring this up with family or friends. They want to motivate and support me. They tell me I can do it too! I can accomplish anything! I feel alone in trying to justify how my life is being held together by a thread. And adding school or work will most definitely break that thread. It took a lot of time and effort to compose this thread.

I am not in a position to push my limits. There are not words to explain.

I agree that I look “better”. And compared to a few years ago, I am much “better”. But I am not cured. I will always need to use much of my days to stay this much “better”. When I push my limits I decline quickly.

Look Closely: You Will See Signs of My Fragility

If you were to look closely, you would see:

• thinning and brittle hair, signals of an unhealthy system
• thin, stretchy skin suggesting hypermobility
• skin discoloration mirrors fibromyalgia symptoms and numbing/stinging
• posture reflects tight fascia or scar tissue
• fat distribution tracks hormonal state changes
• fluid retention reflects lymphatic drainage problems
• neck and jaw not in alliance with the rest of the body, off on their own course affecting healthy airways and contributing to irregular heartbeat
• the ability to measure a half hour by the never ending hot flashes that have raged on every half hour for 5 years
• muscle tone marks great pains to get here compared to zero muscle tone a few years ago

The body is honest, but you have to know what to look for.

Navigating the Labyrinth of Emotional Pain

What do we do with all this pain, clean or dirty? What do we do when the emotional pain has been threatening so long? That depression is looming.

Remember: DEPRESSION rearranged is I PRESSED ON.

I suggest an opening. An awakening. A time of the day, perhaps on first waking to acknowledge and inspect the pain. Ask yourself a series of questions. Where is any emotional pain coming from? What name would I give the emotion? How can I move through the emotions I am feeling? What would help or who should I talk to? What is real and what is true in this situation?

It takes effort. But the payoff of one less pain in my body is colossal.

Preaching What I Practiced

This is what I did. When I learned that someone else in my circle is doing what I would like to be doing. If I had the time and energy. If it was right for me. But it isn’t. My timing is different. My focus is different; I am open to what will come instead. In the right timing for me. I will go and chase it. When it is the right thing in the right time.

I felt my sadness and my frustration. I felt the hurt. Not the pain but the hurt. I felt in to the pressure to achieve. I felt the guilt. Knowing I would be misunderstood in sharing this with anyone. I felt threatened. The regret. The feelings of inferiority. The embarrassment and defeat. I had a day to feel gloomy and disappointed by it.

I had a little chat with myself. (I might look normal but I talk to myself and laugh at my own jokes.) I felt into those emotions until there was nothing left. I looked at my life and what is true for me and this body. After grieving the loss. I started to look for the optimistic. The charmed parts of my life. The blissful ups. And the complex beauty of it all. I found the hope of what is ahead for me. It is not all pain and gloom.

I am a Wayfinder.

Wayfinder

“A deeply intuitive person who has the courage to navigate through the chaos and confusion of darkness and division, who refuses to accept the dysfunction of the status quo and who devotes their life to exploring a more joyful, harmonious, cooperative, creative, and sustainable existence on earth”

I have found a way to alleviate my chronic pain. I share it here with you.

Grounding: Harnessing Earth’s Energy for Pain Relief

Grounding is NOT woo woo. It is NOT fake science. It is NOT nothing.

Grounding IS a way to neutralize the body (huge ingredient when you are dealing with unhappy nerves). It DOES improve sleep quality, immune system function and your heart rate variability. It DOES lower inflammation and cortisol. It DOES reduce stress, pain, and recovery time. It DOES improve mood and blood pressure. It CAN reduce jet lag, cure a headache and help balance an overactive nervous system.

As you go about your day to day activities you build up a positive charge. The earth has an endless supply of negative electrons. Get your bare feet on the earth and you heal the positively charged cells by adding electrons from the ground. Any time spent doing this is beneficial.

Start a grounding practice, by spending 30 minutes in a state where your skin is touching the earth. This can be barefoot on a beach or in the grass. Wade in a body of water. Work in the garden without gloves. Lay down on the grass or sand. Sit in a tree! Go for a hike and take time to sit on a tree stump and touch the plants.

But what about the rest of the day? Here are ways to stay grounded as you go about your day:

• practice deep breathing, especially outside
• go for a walk on your lunch break
• meditate for 5 minutes and focus on the present
• write in a gratitude journal daily
• connect with friends and family
• stretch gently
• listen to calming music
• picture a sedative scene
• drinking enough water daily
• focus on your senses
• do not over schedule yourself
• find hobbies that inspire your creativity
• set a time limit for being on social media
• spend time in silence
• take mindful breaks throughout the day
• eat nourishing foods
• epsom salt bath
• positive affirmations
• use grounding sheets or a grounding pad at night
• hug a tree

Grounding: Discover the Hidden Treasures at Your Toes!

Those with chronic illness have limitations. I don’t propose to think I understand them all. But I suspect everyone would find some healing in grounding. It is a place to find aliveness. To find connection. A place for curiosity and play. To be present and find perfection in imperfection. A place for everyone, including those with chronic illness and pain, to experience what cannot be sensed in overwhelming pain. We are welcomed here and have access to the healing of the earth.

Some days all we can do is survive. But when you can open and access a method of grounding, your world will improve. Bit by bit.

Here are some opportunities I have taken for grounding this summer:

“TIME heals all wounds”, is a myth in nervous system dysregulation. Safety, regulation, and connection can heal those wounds. Not time. Honor any and all progress. Do not compare.

The Choice of Self Compassion

I am talking here about having fierce self compassion. In accepting myself I alleviate some suffering. Other times I have opportunities to take action. To protect, provide and motivate. Between the inner healing and the outer change, a caring force allows me to thrive.

I can look back and see with new eyes. I will continue to seek opportunities for growth and life. For purpose and for change. I will honor my progress. And not compare it to others. I want to experience the pain and move to the other side of clean pain. I do not want to get stuck in dirty pain.

I wish the same for all of you.