Tag: mental-health

The Web We Weave: Fascia, Feelings, and Foliage

pammunkholm

Feelings buried alive never die; they find a home in the body until we listen.

-Unknown

If you’ve ever pulled a loose thread on a sweater only to watch the whole thing unravel. You already understand fascia. Fascia is like your body’s built-in spider web. A stretchy, connective tissue that wraps around muscles, organs, nerves, and just about everything else. It’s the silent scaffolding that keeps you upright, and it’s a lot more sensitive than we give it credit for.

Now here’s the kicker: fascia doesn’t just hold tension from that yoga pose you attempted last week. It also holds emotions.

My fascia, for instance, is on the loose side. Because it is connective tissue. And I have issues in my tissues with my hypermobility condition. Yet, when I experience a shock or embarrassment, I will tense and hold. Until I have the chance to talk it out. Move it out. And let it out.

Stress, grief, fear, anger — if we don’t face them, fascia faithfully stores them for later. Think of it as your body’s junk drawer. The trouble is, the drawer isn’t bottomless. Eventually, it overflows, and the result is often chronic pain and stiffness. Or that “my whole body feels like a knotted shoelace” sensation.

When you are already a chronic pain sufferer, tension aggravates everything internally. That junk drawer is already pretty full at the start of every day. Your drawer has a tendency to overflow easily. Perhaps going into panic mode at the thought of being late for a wedding.

Fascia Unveiled (not literally, that would be horrific): A Closer Look (figuratively speaking)

Fascia tension and pain can result in the following symptoms:

  1. Fatigue that rests don’t fix
  2. A body that feels stuck or heavy
  3. Swelling or puffiness
  4. Aches that migrate
  5. Mood swings or emotional reactivity
  6. Brain fog or sensory overload

The Tapestry of Emotion

We are not separate threads, but one woven fabric. What happens to one part, happens to the whole.

-Rumi (paraphrased)

Picture a spider web in the forest. If you tap one corner, the whole thing shivers. Fascia works the same way. Tug on one tight spot. Say, your jaw that clenches every time you swallow your frustration. And the ripple travels to your shoulders, hips, or lower back. Over time, the whole web becomes taut, rigid, and reactive.

This is why chronic pain can feel so widespread and mysterious. It’s not “all in your head.” It’s all in your web.🙄

This web is intricate, adaptive, and intelligent. It is a continuous communication network. It adapts and evolves with every experience. It is shaped by your posture, stress, trauma and time.

And here’s the hard truth: loosening fascia isn’t just about stretching or foam rolling. It’s about facing the emotions strung up in that web. Otherwise, we’re just untangling knots that will retie themselves the next time life throws us a curve ball.

Foliage, Fascia, and Feelings

The trees are patient teachers. In their stillness, we remember how to soften.

-Adapted Forest Therapy reflection

So where does healing begin? Here’s a hint: it’s not in fluorescent-lit clinics with “soothing” elevator music.

Healing begins in places where the nervous system can finally exhale. Enter forest therapy. When you step into the woods, your fascia (and your frazzled nerves) start to soften. The forest isn’t asking you to perform, to prove, or to pretend. Trees don’t care if you’re angry, grieving, or stuck in freeze mode. They simply stand — tall, patient, rooted — and invite you to do the same.

The slow rhythm of nature helps coax tight fascia into release. Walking barefoot on moss and breathing in pine. Or even sitting quietly and noticing the way light filters through leaves sending signals of safety to your nervous system. Safety is the permission slip fascia needs to unclench and let go of the emotions it’s been storing.

Winding Paths to Wellness: Step by Step

  1. Notice the web – Pay attention to where your body feels tight when certain emotions rise. Jaw with anger? Chest with grief? Shoulders with anxiety? Naming the connection is powerful.
  2. Breathe with the trees – Try forest bathing. Experiment by simply sitting outdoors and syncing your breath with the sway of branches. Slow breathing calms nerves and softens fascia.
  3. Move gently – Instead of punishing workouts, try slow walking in nature. Gentle, mindful movement gives fascia the message that it’s safe to release.
  4. Feel it to free it – Allow emotions to surface without judgment. Cry, sigh, journal, or even growl (the forest can handle it). What your body expresses, it no longer has to store.

Tears are the silent language of grief.

-Voltaire

Other forms of therapy to release fascia include: Myofascial massage. Cupping. Deep stretching. Breathwork. Cold bath. Tread carefully. Some of these therapies will be too much for a toxic ridden body.

An Enticing Proposal

Your fascia is your lifelong spider web. When it’s tangled with old emotions, the whole structure strains. But the good news is this: just as webs can be rebuilt, so can you. Step into the forest. Breathe. Listen. Move slowly. Let your body know it is safe to soften.

Healing isn’t about forcing the web to untangle. It’s about giving it the stillness, compassion, and space it needs to find balance again.

Healing begins when we allow the heart to speak and the body to answer.

-Adapted wisdom

CBT & Chronic Pain: Finding My Way Back to the Forest

pammunkholm

“Just because you think something, doesn’t make it true.”

-unknown

Today we are talking CBT. Not CBD (that’s a whole other post) But CBT. Which sounds fancy, but it’s really just brain training.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is about noticing the sneaky little thoughts that creep in when life feels unlivable, and learning how to shift them just enough that you don’t get engulfed by it all. CBT is brain training for when your nervous system starts acting like a toddler in a toy aisle. Hyperactive. Impulsive. Emotional outbursts and mood swings. On high alert. Where self regulation becomes difficult.

It doesn’t erase pain (I wish). It doesn’t rebuild the life you’d planned (double wish). But it does help you find a new footing.

Kind of like wandering a forest trail—where you keep tripping on roots you didn’t see, but then you realize… if you slow down, if you watch your step, if you breathe—it’s possible to keep walking.

img_5990

As Viktor Frankl once wrote:

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

That’s CBT. Not fixing the forest. Just learning how to move through it differently.

Kind of like the friend who kindly takes away your “end of the world” glasses and swaps them out for “yeah, it still sucks, but you’ve got this” glasses.

⸻

Here’s the deal: chronic pain is not just pain. It’s also the grief of losing the version of life I had sketched out in neon colours.

A Preposterous Odyssey: Tales from My Crooked Journey

When pain became my daily companion, I felt like someone had dropped me in a wilderness without a map.

I wanted my old trail—the one I’d carefully planned and marked. Instead, I found myself in dense undergrowth. Nothing looked familiar. Every step hurt.

I’ve missed family trips. Suddenly ended a business my mom built up and passed on to me. Letting go of what it has taken my whole life to build has been heartbreaking.

I have grieved hard. The life I wanted felt like a house I’d just finished building, suddenly bulldozed overnight.

But in CBT, I started to learn that maybe I didn’t need to rebuild that house right away. Maybe I could step outside, find a patch of ground, and plant something small.

The forest became my classroom.

A tree doesn’t “should” itself taller. It just grows where it can. A broken branch still belongs to the tree. Roots tangled around rocks still dig deep.

And I thought—maybe I can live like that too.

img_6893

⸻

What CBT Looks Like in the Wild

Here’s how CBT shows up when I walk among the trees with pain and grief:

• Catch the catastrophes. In my head: “This pain will swallow me whole.” In the forest it is as the African proverb says, “the wind howls, the trees bend, and yet they do not break.” I remind myself—I can bend too.

• Challenge the “shoulds.” I see seedlings pushing up through moss. They don’t say, “I should be a tall cedar by now.” They just keep growing. Maybe I can let myself do the same.

• Make room for both grief and joy. The forest holds both fallen logs and wildflowers. My life can hold both too.

CBT is not about denying the ache. It’s about learning to see yourself in a bigger landscape—where pain isn’t the only thing growing.

CBT is not about putting a smiley face sticker on a grenade. Instead, it teaches you to make room for the hard stuff—the grief, the frustration, the “I want to throw my heating pad across the room” rage—without letting it bulldoze your entire sense of self.

⸻

Walking With Grief

Grief still ambushes me. It stings when I see friends excelling in their careers and I can’t work. But the forest has taught me: standing still while others are moving is part of my journey.

When I sit against a tree trunk, I feel its strength. I remember that even a tree scarred by disease provides shade. I don’t have to be who I was before. I just have to keep breathing through the life I have now.

As poet John O’Donohue said:

“May you recognize in your life the presence, power, and light of your soul. May you realize that you are never alone, that your soul in its brightness and belonging connects you intimately with the rhythm of the universe. “

In the forest, I remember I still belong. Pain or not. Loss or not.

The Buddha (who knew a thing or two about suffering) said:

“Pain is certain. Suffering is optional.”

⸻

The Grief Side of It

CBT also helps when you’re sitting in the grief of the “life you planned.”

When you feel small and useless. When you scroll past everyone’s travel selfies and feel like the human equivalent of a potato.

Instead of spiraling, CBT teaches:

• Notice the thought: “I’m worthless now.”

• Question it: “Would I say that to my best friend in this situation?”

• Replace it with something compassionate: “I’m in pain, but I’m still me. And I still matter.”

CBT doesn’t take away grief. But it helps you walk with it instead of being dragged behind it.

As Mary Oliver wrote:

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.”

I don’t know if chronic pain is a “gift” (feels more like a re-gifted fruitcake). But CBT helps me carry the box without dropping it on my toes. And exacerbating the pain.

⸻

The Bittersweet Nature of Truth

Managing pain you can’t control is brutal. There’s no sugarcoating it. But CBT gives us a fighting chance to stop our thoughts from adding gasoline to the fire.

It’s like teaching your brain to stop shouting “THE HOUSE IS BURNING” when really, the toaster just sparked again.

So here’s to adjusting sails. To finding laughter in the ridiculous moments. To grieving the life we planned, while still living the one we have—beautiful, messy, painful, ridiculous.

Because if we can’t cure it, we can at least outwit it.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

-Charles R. Swindoll

From Suffering to Sturdy: A Journey Forward

Chronic pain that cannot be treated or controlled is brutal. There’s no pretending otherwise. But CBT helps me stop setting up camp in despair. It gives me tools to step back onto the trail—even if I’m limping, even if I only make it a few steps.

And the forest gives me a place to practice.

It whispers: adjust your sails, bend with the wind, let the light through where you can.

So I keep walking. Slowly. Laughing when I have to contort my body to get some joints back in place. Crying sometimes too.

But still walking.

“Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world.”

– John Muir

Healing Chronic Pain: The Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn Response

pammunkholm

The body keeps the score, the body always remembers.

–Bessel van der Kolk

Chronic pain has been one of my greatest teachers. Not because I wanted the lessons. But because it refused to allow me to skip class.

I grew up hearing the terms fight or flight. It was always in the context of trauma. I learned about freeze and fawn in more recent years.

IF you are unfamiliar with these states. Blow this up ☝🏼 and take a glance, get a feel for how these patterns operate for the general public.

I was surprised to learn that these patterns are all operating in my life. Likely due to my chronic pain.

The body that keeps moving isn’t driven- it’s bracing. A survival pattern disguised as productivity. A nervous system trying to stay one step ahead of collapse.

-@emberunbound

I didn’t realize that chronic pain could push my nervous system into these same states. And keep me there for long stretches of time.

Our bodies are wired to protect us from danger. But what happens when the danger isn’t the tiger in the bushes… but a pain flare that never truly ends?

Pain is supposed to be the warning that something is wrong. Literally life threatening. But with chronic pain every movement. Every situation. Every experience. Gets imprinted incorrectly. And experienced in the mind as life threatening. We’re not supposed to be exposed to this type of danger all the time. When the alarm bells keep ringing. How does one keep from going berserk?

Your Body’s Ancient Alarm System

The body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every last one of them.

When the nervous system senses threat- whether physical, emotional, or imagined- it flips into protection mode.

  • Fight- “I have to push through this pain, no matter what.” “I feel irritated by everything.”
  • Flight- “I have to escape this situation (or this body).” “Nobody understands, I should just leave.”
  • Freeze- “I can’t do anything, so I’ll shut down.” “I can’t handle anymore right now.”
  • Fawn- “If I just keep everyone happy, I’ll be safe.” “I wish I could go home to rest, but I need to stay so they don’t feel bad.”

With chronic pain, these responses aren’t always dramatic. They can be quiet, creeping patterns that take root in daily life.

Once triggered, we find any input is too much. Noise. Lights. Crowds. Smells. Chaos. Multiple things competing for our attention. This sensory overload can start to make us feel panicky, confused, and overwhelmed.

I suggest this is because we live at the height of what we can handle. Just with our pain. Adding anything easily takes us to a breaking point.

How Fight Shows Up in Chronic Pain

She thought strength 
was measured in miles run,
lists checked,
burdens carried alone.
Then she learned
that strength can also be 
in saying "enough."

For me, “fight” often looks like overdoing it. I grit my teeth, force my way through the task, and pretend the pain isn’t there. I know I’m past my limit when I start getting on my own nerves.

She was fierce, but her body was tired. She was determined, but her cells were weary. And yet, she still rose.

-Unknown

Flight: The Urge to Escape

She packed her bags 
for the hundredth time,
not always with clothes-
sometimes just with dreams.
But the horizon
was only another room
she carried inside.

Sometimes the pain feels unbearable, and all I want is to run- from conversations, commitments, or even my own thoughts. With chronic pain, “flight” doesn’t always mean sprinting down the road. It can mean numbing with endless scrolling, binge-watching, or mentally checking out.

Some journeys take us far from home. Some adventures lead us to our soul.

-C.S. Lewis

Freeze: Stuck in Place

When pain is constant, your nervous system never gets the memo that the war is over.

–Dr. Howard Schubiner

Freeze is tricky. It feels like exhaustion, procrastination, or brain fog. It is not laziness- it’s biology. The nervous system has decided the safest thing to do is… nothing.

Chronic pain can hold the body hostage, and freeze mode locks the mind in the same room.

Fawn: People Pleasing for Safety

If you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself.

–Cheryl Richardson

This one surprised me the most. And yet, it makes so much sense. Fawn shows up when I ignore my own limits to keep others happy. Agreeing to help when I’m in pain, smiling through a flare so no one feels uncomfortable. It can keep us “safe” socially, but it costs us our healing.

Why This Matters for Chronic Pain

When our bodies stay in constant fight- flight- freeze- fawn cycles, our pain often increases. Muscles stay tense. Sleep gets disrupted. Digestion slows. The immune system struggles. 

She said "yes
so no one else
would have to feel
her "no."
But the body keeps 
its own calendar, 
and it circled today
for the breaking point.

-Misty Bernall

Recognizing the pattern is the first step toward calming it.

Seatherny

(noun) the serenity one feels when listening to the chirping of birds

Calming the Nervous System

Here’s some ways I’ve found helpful to calm an overactive nervous system.

  • Slow breathing- inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6
  • Gentle self talk- “My body is doing its best to keep me safe.”
  • Micro- rests- lying down for 5 minutes before I truly need to
  • Safe connection- calling someone who understands without judgment
  • Crying- releases pent up emotions
  • Chug water- a natural way to detox physically
  • Run hands under cold water- to trick the brain into distraction
  • Nature time, a brisk walk- or take some time for forest therapy
May the tide wash away your fear
May the salt air clear your thoughts
May you feel the pull of the moon 
reminding you to rise and rest in turn
May your heart find its steady beat, 
and your body remember-
you are safe to float now
-Lucille Clifton

Mending While the Alarm Still Rings

The nervous system can be rewired, but it’s a slow mending- like stitching a beloved quilt by hand. Each breath, each choice to rest, each moment of kindness toward ourselves is a new thread. 

May the trees stand guard over your rest
May the wind carry away your pain
May the earth hold you steady
and the roots remind you-
you belong here
May the path ahead be soft underfoot
and the light always find your face

I am learning not to be mad at my nervous system. It’s trying to protect me the best way it knows. I can thank it for its service… and then gently let it know I am safe now.

A Blessing for Your Journey

May your heart rate slow
May your shoulders drop
May your jaw unclench
May the river of your breath
remind you of the ocean's rhythm
May you remember-
you are safe, you are whole, you are here

Chronic pain is impressive, but so are you. In the best way. Solid. Grounded. A force to be reckoned with.

An All-Too-Familiar Tale in Misdiagnosed/ Underdiagnosed Female Chronic Pain: This Is My Story

pammunkholm

In today’s post I’ll be sharing more about my joint hypermobility diagnosis journey. Due to brain fog and the length of time this went on, my chronological ability is a tad sketchy. Regardless, the emotions and the pain of my story are real.

I hope you can’t relate to my story. But I’d love to hear from those of you who have also experienced a diagnosis nightmare. Particularly those with hypermobility.

From Spark to Flame

In the spring of 2011 I was tired of the sharp pain in my left armpit. It had been happening on and off for years. I didn’t have the brain power or the time to deal with it. I had three little kids instead.

That year I planned on going back to work as an EA. My kids were school-aged. And I was going to take the EA course that fall. Being on my feet more often without the ability to rest when I needed was a game changer. But not in a good way. Sitting in a chair for 6 hours a day for school was brutal.

The Beginning of a Beautiful, Medically-Invoked, Friendship

I started seeing a physiotherapist. She was heralded as one of the best diagnosticians of joint and muscle pain in town.

I will be forever grateful for the referral that sent my brother to see her after his knee injury. Which led to a referral from my mom that I should see her.

She has been with me from that time. She has saved my life in more ways and more times than I can count. She is my superhero.

From our beginnings, J walked by me through the process of navigating the medical field. With chronic pain. As we became friends and she learned about me and my family, she also became a trusted counselor. As she saw me opening to other forms of therapy, she shared her knowledge of energy therapy. When she learned my kids all have ADHD like their dad. She gave me hope and help on that subject too!

In her role as a physiotherapist, if she’d had the authority to order tests. I believe my diagnosis journey would have been completely different. But that is neither here nor there. Because I did not have access to a comprehensive team of doctors. I was the one running between and trying to pass on messages. I got them mixed up or had incomplete information. The doctors didn’t seem to care what J had to suggest.

So while J kept putting me back together and giving me exercises, the doctors kept telling me I was fine.

Doctors: Just work with a physiotherapist. It’s not a medical issue.

On the other hand, I would sneeze and feel something rip and go cold in my left shoulder blade area. I’d go see J and she’d fix me.

I’d wipe a counter and the same sensation. Back to J. She suggested something deeper was happening. (of course all she can do is find the spots that need fixing and fix them. She can only work with the effects something is having on the joints. She cannot see or fix the joint itself. Only its placement in the body,)

Coldplay Has Got Nothing on my J: She Will Try To Fix Me

I’d fight with doctors to give me an ultrasound. I’d experience deep pain in the exam as they shoved the paddle into my abdomen and groin. Often trying to locate missing organs. They always showed up eventually.

***TEST RESULT NORMAL***

Chiropractors.

***DIAGNOSIS: you’re out in a few spots. *crack*

Me: (walking out the door and looking down to step over the ledge)*crickety crack crack pop*

I’d go back to the doctor. Same procedure every time. They’d want to know where the pain was coming from. (everywhere) They’d ask how the pain felt. (depended on the day) They’d ask what made the pain worse. (being mobile, living my life) They’d want to know what made it better. (laying down, not moving)

“Well Pam, you can’t lay on the couch and expect to get better” (actual comment from an actual doctor that had a quick chat with me over the phone, I thanked him)

Me: Thank you. Good day.

Doctor: There might be something I can do, just don’t get your hopes up.

Me: I said Good Day

(maybe not those words but that was the tone)

This was always hard to hear. I had been running and working out before the pain got unbearable. And then I’d try again. J would ask when the pain started. (the day after I tried to jog. I just lifted 5 lbs a few times and then a few more the next day, etc.) I’d flare. My joints would be less stable. Back to J. She was always so kind and just put me back together.

I wanted nothing more than to run and workout. The doctors would have me move this way and that. Lift this arm. Touch the floor and come back up. Any pain? Now? Now? (nil, the pain would surface the next day though, and it would bring reinforcements.) But the appointment was over and the doctor wasn’t there to see that happening. So it wasn’t in the charts.

I don’t know what my doctors wrote. But due to no further investigation, I am led to believe it was something like the following.

***DIAGNOSIS: Kinesiophobia (fear of movement)/ Agoraphobia (fear of open situations: due to potential for unexpected pain and inability to attend to it)***

Back to J. She would put back all the spots that the doctors had unwittingly subluxed with the tests. J looked at the pattern.

***diagnosis: extreme hyper mobile joints*** but this was not a diagnosis the doctors wrote down or understood

Diary of A Misunderstood Patient: “I Tried to Tell Them”

I don’t blame the medical professionals in the beginning. But as the situation went on and I tried to tell them how this would go.

“I will do the tests. It will not cause me pain now. Because I have extremely mobile joints. And tomorrow due to shifting and stretching those joints outside their comfort zone, they will sublux. The pain is not in that shift. The pain is from the muscles that are left to hold that spot together. Now that the joint is no longer capable of doing its job. That muscle will get more and more sore as it holds and holds anytime I am mobile. It will eventually give out. Another muscle will get involved. And so on down the line. While this is happening this joint will have more stress on it. Initially just the joints around the unstable one. But eventually leading to my main muscles and joints. It will cause great pain.”

Doctor: OK, so you can do the test?

Me: (blink, blink) Yes

Doctor: If I don’t do this test, I can’t diagnose you.

This became the answer from specialists I waited months to see. I couldn’t give up the chance for answers. So I would do the test.

***DIAGNOSIS: NORMAL***

***TEST RESULTS for their specific specialty: NORMAL***

Back to J. She would inquire how things were going as far as tests and treatments from the medical side. I saw pain in her eyes as she saw the misery and agony I was going through. In this process. And physically.

It was draining the life out of me. J was always careful not to complain. She would never say anything unkind or unhelpful with reference to doctors or their way of doing things. It was as though she had been there herself. And was at peace with it.

The Final Act: With Room For Improvement

During my “end-of-the-line-of-specialists” appointment with a rheumatologist I broke down. I sobbed to her. Something was wrong and nobody could find it. Everything was coming back normal. She said it had nothing to do with her specialty. But she would send in a request for an MRI.

I wanted this test to show something so bad. It seemed like such an odd thing to hope for. To be diagnosed.

I had the MRI. I waited to hear back from my family doctor. She said they found a tiny bone spur. In my shoulder blade region. It was creating inflammation in the tissue and everything else in the area. Every. Time. I. Moved.

***DIAGNOSIS: bone spur***

I felt validated. Finally! Someone saw something! My pain was real!

I waited to see a shoulder surgeon. He told me my bone spur was so small they normally wouldn’t operate on it. But I did have a small area for it to fit. So if I wanted they would do surgery. Um yess please. Please fix me.

***TREATMENT: surgery to remove “tiny” bone spur***

I waited more months to hear when the surgery would be. Then I waited months for the actual day.

I should mention that through this time I was also diagnosed with endometriosis and its ensuing pain and surgery. Every couple of years they went in to scrape out the scar tissue. And put my organs back where they were supposed to be. I was having more and more trouble recovering from surgery. The internal inflammation was crazy.

The Road To Being Un-Recovered

After my shoulder surgery I was so relieved to have that nasty scoundrel out of there.

But the recovery from this surgery was particularly difficult. The years of waiting for the next specialist. The next test. The next referral. Had worn down my body. Months of lying down whenever the opportunity presented itself at the end of a workday. The end of putting kids to bed. The end of the cleaning and laundry. It always had to wait. But the lying down instead of working out were creating more tell-tale signs that something was wrong.

After this surgery. My mouth had a pesky sore on it from the breathing tube pressing my lip between it and my teeth. Making it hard to eat anything. The pain of the gas they pump into you, moving up and out, was almost unbearable. It felt as though parts of me were being ripped apart.

The shoulder pain where the surgeon had used a knife and some did some cauterizing was fine. But the neck pain where they had twisted my head to get the right positioning. Had caused several exceptionally painful subluxations there.

I had to wait a certain time before I could see J following the surgery. It was agony. I was propped and pillowed. I used my cold therapy machine for my shoulder on my neck instead. Nothing helped. The strong meds they give following surgery are only prescribed for a certain time. I get it. My inflammation in my mouth (now I understand that was due to thin lining of my lips and mouth). My internal inflammation from the surgery. My unbearable pain in my neck. Were just starting to ramp up.

I called my doctor. She reluctantly, out of the goodness of her heart. Prescribed a few more but that was really all she could do. No more!

***DIAGNOSIS: drug seeker***

I suffered so much during that time.

It took most of a year to see the inflammation go down. About five years until I didn’t notice its effects anymore. So that tiny little bone spur had me struggling to workout for years.

Medicine vs The Patient

I never got to the point where that was fixed and all was well. Because during those years I also had pain and inflammation with my endometriosis. So many medications and therapies were offered that did not support my needs as a hypermobile patient. According to all the specialists, that diagnosis didn’t apply to what they were doing.

Somewhere in the following years my SIL told me about a syndrome she’d heard about on a show. It sounded a lot like what she knew about me. I have had so many suggestions from those who mean well. Making it hard to listen to them all. But this one stuck. Once she mentioned it, I noticed it being talked about in other arenas.

Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome. I did some research and it sounded like a plausible diagnosis. I mentioned it to my doctor and they dismissed it as a diagnosis that you either have or you don’t. There is no treatment. She ran through a few tests and didn’t mention it again.

I had a hysterectomy that fixed some issues but created a host of others. A story for another time.

I switched doctors. Again. A painful but necessary process every time. This doctor wondered why previous doctors hadn’t gone through the Beighton score tests.

We did those. I passed with flying colors in one section. But didn’t quite meet the qualifications in another. So technically I don’t have EDS. But I have hypermobility. Which nobody in the medical world other than J, seems to think is an issue. My doctor has ruled it out. Due to being one check mark shy on a page.

It isn’t his fault. But without that mark I am still just a kinesiophobic, agoraphobic, with unknown causes of depression and anxiety. Quite needy and schedules multiple pointless appointments. Low pain tolerance. Who lays on the couch all day and expects to get better.

From Limitations to Peace

Through the years, I tried to get stronger physically. I couldn’t run. It put the bones in my feet out. When I tried to do functional movement, one joint or another did not like it. Inflammation, subluxation. Back to J.

She would give me gentle movements to keep my functional movement in check.

A slip on ice. Run into by our pig. Dog head to my thigh slam. Another slip on ice. Mowing the lawn putting me into spasm (we lived on an acre and mowed with a push mower). Cleaning a pool. Bending into the fridge the wrong way. Sitting to teach piano. Stand you say? That creates the need to bend over to point at the page. I tried everything. Yet by living my life, my bones would inevitably shift and get stuck.

Where a typical person’s joints would not bend that far. Their connective tissue would hold them together. Protecting them from a subluxation.

In 2020, unrelated to the pandemic that was ramping up, my body was shutting down. The years of pain from living with unchecked torture, had taken their toll.

My nerves were showing more and more signs of wear and tear.

Over the ensuing years, I was seeing less medical specialists and more natural alternatives. I was finding my way to my healing.

More diagnoses from a naturopath. At first I dismissed them but now I feel and see the effects daily. #theydoexist

***DIAGNOSIS: fibromyalgia, myalgic encephalomyelitis chronic fatigue syndrome***

***TREATMENT: rest when you can, listen to your body, supplements, etc***

I saw a holistic health practitioner at the end of 2020 when my mom thought I was going to die. We were living with them on the farm at the time. And she saw what was happening. The strain my body put on me. And that my ability to fight back was waning. She was right. I see it now.

From then on, I listen to those who tune in instead of out when I mention those diagnoses. And healing has followed.

Diagnosis: Indifference to the Unknown

I still have no hypermobile condition diagnosis. I don’t really care anymore. I have found a community in those with EDS and other hypermobile joint conditions. As I listen to my nerves, my body designs a space for mending to transpire.

Treatment: Based Solely on the Needs of The Patient, Me

Energy work and emotional healing has been critical for means of growth.

The forest incorporates it all. Energy work. Emotional healing. Physical effort (not past your limitations). Rest (to the bones, spiritual, emotional, mental). Creating better pathways for focus (through awakening the senses and meditation and creativity).

Perks of Nature: The Phenomenon of Forest Therapy

Plus the benefits we garner solely based on practicing forest therapy. A stronger immune system response. Lowered cortisol (less stress). Improved mood (decreased tension, increasing feelings of vigor). Cardiovascular benefits (decreases blood pressure and reduces heart rate). Sharpened cognitive activity (increased function in the prefrontal cortex). And plenty more.

I have medication for my nerves which keeps most of the buzzing under control. And another for my “mystery” anxiety and depression. I believe there is a place for the medical world. It serves a vast purpose. But it did not serve me when I needed it.

I do not blame any person or hospital. I strongly believe the dilemma starts from a lack of proper education and awareness surrounding chronic pain. And where it is coming from. Not every diagnosis has a box to check yet. When the symptoms and diagnoses are not lining up for anything in the medical books. Listen to the patient.

You’re the Bee’s Knees, Thanks for Being Here!

To those who listened and payed attention and supported. Thank you. To my mom. To J. And to my SIL who saw a show and put more 2’s together than all my doctors combined. Thank you.

To all who read this far. Thank you!

Some of you will find reading a blog enough. But some of you will want to dive deeper. That’s where I come in. I have the desire to share what I have learned. Through the practice of forest therapy. If you’d like to see what forest therapy is all about and why a guided practice can take you deeper. Go to my How To Get in Touch page. And send me a message with your name and contact info. I will be sure to include you in my next forest therapy session.

🎵 Into the unknown! Into the unknown! Into the unkno-o-o-own! 🎵 And I’m okay with that.

Understanding Clean Pain vs Dirty Pain in Chronic Illness

pammunkholm

Today I will be discussing the topic of clean pain vs dirty pain. A concept I’ve seen a few places. I have heard it best explained by Jody Moore. And I would like to explore the topic of how that can show up in people with chronic pain. I had the opportunity to practice what I preach this week. Find out how that went. Then I discuss grounding and how to incorporate it into your everyday life.

Clean Pain and Dirty Pain: A Delightful Distinction in Discomfort!

Clean pain is the unavoidable emotions that come with life. Losing a loved one and the sadness that brings. Getting laid off from employment might bring up emotions of shock, anxiety, and anger. Clean pain can manifest as emotional or physical pain. It is important to recognize and move through clean pain.

Dirty pain is essentially anything we do to avoid clean pain. Feeling anger at a family member for choices they made. Avoiding a relationship so you don’t end up hurt. Dirty pain will last longer. It is not a way through. But a way around.

Navigating the Nuances of Pain and Hurt

How does this manifest in people with chronic pain? How do we divide the regular pain we experience from the pain of emotions?

Talking with a friend or therapist can help you determine when you are feeling pain that you need to address. So much of this life is putting pain on the back burner. Ignore it until I can deal with it. Ignore it because there is nothing to be done but to ride out this flare.

But clean pain is important to experience. It is how we move through difficulties.

Practicing What I Preach

I had an opportunity to practice this concept this week.

I have seen more than one friend or acquaintance accomplishing major milestones. They are putting in the work. And they are starting to see a payoff. I wish them well. I really do.

Have you heard the raindrop theory? “The idea that small moments shape everything. A single word. A kind gesture- they may seem insignificant. But over time, they carve out entire life paths. Just like raindrops, tiny things can change landscapes, if you let them.”

Some days I want to be that person. That carves our paths of kindness and love. But other days I count to 10 and throw a punch on 8. Nobody expects that! It can be frustrating to feel stuck in this cage of a body. It holds me back from things I’d have liked to try and accomplish for myself.

Pushing Through: Not on My To-Do List!

I bring this up with family or friends. They want to motivate and support me. They tell me I can do it too! I can accomplish anything! I feel alone in trying to justify how my life is being held together by a thread. And adding school or work will most definitely break that thread. It took a lot of time and effort to compose this thread.

I am not in a position to push my limits. There are not words to explain.

I agree that I look “better”. And compared to a few years ago, I am much “better”. But I am not cured. I will always need to use much of my days to stay this much “better”. When I push my limits I decline quickly.

Look Closely: You Will See Signs of My Fragility

If you were to look closely, you would see:

  • thinning and brittle hair, signals of an unhealthy system
  • thin, stretchy skin suggesting hypermobility
  • skin discoloration mirrors fibromyalgia symptoms and numbing/stinging
  • posture reflects tight fascia or scar tissue
  • fat distribution tracks hormonal state changes
  • fluid retention reflects lymphatic drainage problems
  • neck and jaw not in alliance with the rest of the body, off on their own course affecting healthy airways and contributing to irregular heartbeat
  • the ability to measure a half hour by the never ending hot flashes that have raged on every half hour for 5 years
  • muscle tone marks great pains to get here compared to zero muscle tone a few years ago

The body is honest, but you have to know what to look for.

Navigating the Labyrinth of Emotional Pain

What do we do with all this pain, clean or dirty? What do we do when the emotional pain has been threatening so long? That depression is looming.

Remember: DEPRESSION rearranged is I PRESSED ON.

I suggest an opening. An awakening. A time of the day, perhaps on first waking to acknowledge and inspect the pain. Ask yourself a series of questions. Where is any emotional pain coming from? What name would I give the emotion? How can I move through the emotions I am feeling? What would help or who should I talk to? What is real and what is true in this situation?

It takes effort. But the payoff of one less pain in my body is colossal.

Preaching What I Practiced

This is what I did. When I learned that someone else in my circle is doing what I would like to be doing. If I had the time and energy. If it was right for me. But it isn’t. My timing is different. My focus is different; I am open to what will come instead. In the right timing for me. I will go and chase it. When it is the right thing in the right time.

I felt my sadness and my frustration. I felt the hurt. Not the pain but the hurt. I felt in to the pressure to achieve. I felt the guilt. Knowing I would be misunderstood in sharing this with anyone. I felt threatened. The regret. The feelings of inferiority. The embarrassment and defeat. I had a day to feel gloomy and disappointed by it.

I had a little chat with myself. (I might look normal but I talk to myself and laugh at my own jokes.) I felt into those emotions until there was nothing left. I looked at my life and what is true for me and this body. After grieving the loss. I started to look for the optimistic. The charmed parts of my life. The blissful ups. And the complex beauty of it all. I found the hope of what is ahead for me. It is not all pain and gloom.

I am a Wayfinder.

Wayfinder

“A deeply intuitive person who has the courage to navigate through the chaos and confusion of darkness and division, who refuses to accept the dysfunction of the status quo and who devotes their life to exploring a more joyful, harmonious, cooperative, creative, and sustainable existence on earth”

I have found a way to alleviate my chronic pain. I share it here with you.

Grounding: Harnessing Earth’s Energy for Pain Relief

Grounding is NOT woo woo. It is NOT fake science. It is NOT nothing.

Grounding IS a way to neutralize the body (huge ingredient when you are dealing with unhappy nerves). It DOES improve sleep quality, immune system function and your heart rate variability. It DOES lower inflammation and cortisol. It DOES reduce stress, pain, and recovery time. It DOES improve mood and blood pressure. It CAN reduce jet lag, cure a headache and help balance an overactive nervous system.

As you go about your day to day activities you build up a positive charge. The earth has an endless supply of negative electrons. Get your bare feet on the earth and you heal the positively charged cells by adding electrons from the ground. Any time spent doing this is beneficial.

Start a grounding practice, by spending 30 minutes in a state where your skin is touching the earth. This can be barefoot on a beach or in the grass. Wade in a body of water. Work in the garden without gloves. Lay down on the grass or sand. Sit in a tree! Go for a hike and take time to sit on a tree stump and touch the plants.

But what about the rest of the day? Here are ways to stay grounded as you go about your day:

  • practice deep breathing, especially outside
  • go for a walk on your lunch break
  • meditate for 5 minutes and focus on the present
  • write in a gratitude journal daily
  • connect with friends and family
  • stretch gently
  • listen to calming music
  • picture a sedative scene
  • drinking enough water daily
  • focus on your senses
  • do not over schedule yourself
  • find hobbies that inspire your creativity
  • set a time limit for being on social media
  • spend time in silence
  • take mindful breaks throughout the day
  • eat nourishing foods
  • epsom salt bath
  • positive affirmations
  • use grounding sheets or a grounding pad at night
  • hug a tree

Grounding: Discover the Hidden Treasures at Your Toes!

Those with chronic illness have limitations. I don’t propose to think I understand them all. But I suspect everyone would find some healing in grounding. It is a place to find aliveness. To find connection. A place for curiosity and play. To be present and find perfection in imperfection. A place for everyone, including those with chronic illness and pain, to experience what cannot be sensed in overwhelming pain. We are welcomed here and have access to the healing of the earth.

Some days all we can do is survive. But when you can open and access a method of grounding, your world will improve. Bit by bit.

Here are some opportunities I have taken for grounding this summer:

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“TIME heals all wounds”, is a myth in nervous system dysregulation. Safety, regulation, and connection can heal those wounds. Not time. Honor any and all progress. Do not compare.

The Choice of Self Compassion

I am talking here about having fierce self compassion. In accepting myself I alleviate some suffering. Other times I have opportunities to take action. To protect, provide and motivate. Between the inner healing and the outer change, a caring force allows me to thrive.

I can look back and see with new eyes. I will continue to seek opportunities for growth and life. For purpose and for change. I will honor my progress. And not compare it to others. I want to experience the pain and move to the other side of clean pain. I do not want to get stuck in dirty pain.

I wish the same for all of you.

Survival to Stellify: Rising From the Ashes to Be Placed Among the Stars

pammunkholm

Stellify

means to turn into, or as if into, a star, to place among the stars

I did not crawl through the shards of my own brokenness to live a mediocre life, I’ve prepared for magic.

–Mandy Lauren

Chronic Pain Unveiled: Wisdom That Shifted My Mindset

In the midst of chronic pain and disease, the thought that life is magical? Ha! Ludicrous!

During the days of my worst pain, it was difficult to see anything other than myself. Pain makes us turn inward. To see what is wrong and what we should do to alleviate the suffering. In a chronic condition, over and over, those efforts to treat inwards are unsuccessful. From such a position. I did not have a good sense of what I had to offer the world from my bed. I lost track of who I was.

If you think you are too small to be effective, you’ve never been in bed with a mosquito before.

Then I started to read quotes such as the following:

On the days you have only 40% and you give 40%, you gave 100%.

–Jim Kwik

This was big news to me. I thought giving my best meant wearing myself out. physically and mentally. Disregarding any symptoms of unease. Only then could I say I was doing my best.

On your worst days, you have to believe that there is still something beautiful left inside of you.

–faraway

I thought this was a good concept but I didn’t believe it until I did the work to see it.

experience taught her. hurt raised her. neither defined her.

-adrian michael

Believe there is a great power silently working all things for good. behave yourself and never mind the rest.

-Beatrix Potter

I Am Not Unique and Our Purpose Here

I am one of many who have been witness to miracles in their life. I am also one of many who have witnessed a lot of pain. My hope is to find followers through this blog. Those who will get a boost from what I have to offer. Who are struggling in some way. That is what makes my pain worth the cost. If it can be of some good. My hope is to share what I have experienced so that others won’t feel so alone on their darkest days.

After reading these and other such quotes. I sensed a budding clarity. I started to think maybe there were enough pieces of me left to work with. As I focused my efforts to rest and only move when I needed to exercise. I read and listened to uplifting and motivating books and podcasts. I used my days to take in relevant information. And I learned from the experience of others.

Months turned to years. I was starting to put the pieces back together. One at a time. I still don’t know how they all work together. Often the process is one of trial and error. But I know when something is right for me. When to put in effort knowing I will reap the benefits in time.

A Delicate Dance of Emotions: E-VALUE-ation of Self

Kaiho

A Finnish word meaning “longing” or “nostalgia”, even a “hopeless longing”

At that time, I still longed for the life I had planned. I acknowledged a feeling of kaiho, I knew my planned version of me would never come to existence. I think it was important to have a time of mourning and to admit the loss. But I didn’t want to live in the neighborhood of kaiho. Although I do visit from time to time.

As I came to better understand my chronic pain, I learned to live in this new body. I learned to listen better to my soul. My body and spirit. And less to my mind. I learned that my mind will lie to me. But my body and spirit, if positively aligned, will never lie to me. They will always direct me to my highest good.

I no longer feel like a few mental illnesses stuffed in a trench coat, stumbling around. Trying to portray to the world that I am fine. Those mental illnesses are part of me. They are part of the fire I have been through. A monument to the cost of dark experiences.

I cultivated an understanding of ways that brains work. How they will first ask, ‘Am I safe?’ they will ask, ‘Am I loved?’ when the answer to both of these question is yes, then they can be open to learning and growth. I could see why my growth had been stunted for so many years. I would not have been able to answer yes to both.

The Quirky Cravings of Our Bizarre Species

I studied the needs we inherently have as human beings. I started to meet those demands for myself. Instead of expecting anything from others.

Physical: food, water, air, shelter, sleep, safety, exercise

Connection: we all have a desire for belonging and acceptance from a community (I built a community where I feel heard, seen and loved)

Meaning: to have purpose and to matter, learning, growth, creativity, and consciousness

Autonomy: to be independent, to have the freedom of choice and space

Play: sprinkling in humour and joy, even silliness to the mix

Authenticity: to be able to trust and show a genuine illustration of ourselves

The degree to which a person can grow is directly proportional to the amount of truth they can accept about themselves without running away.

-Leland Val Van De Waal

Harmony: everyone needs a level of peace and tranquility in life, to see order and inspiration

My Ongoing Journey: A Non-Exhaustive List of Lessons Learned

I began to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Which changed the landscape of my brain. I learned that as I practiced gratitude on a daily basis. The regions of the brain associated with reward and emotional regulation are boosted. Over time the neural pathways I was creating, in gratitude practice were making it easier to focus on positive experiences. Serotonin and dopamine production was boosted. Helping counteract stress and anxiety. Gratitude is described as a natural anti depressant. Helping improve your mental health.

I found my greatest supporters. From a small girl with pigtail braids to the woman I am today. My mom has been a cheerleader. And a friend. One to look at my work and smile in encouragement and love. I feel safe to create because this was her response.

I learned over time that being a kind person didn’t mean I should allow others to walk all over me. I learned a kind person can still:

  1. have regrets for the way they have done things in the past- do what they can to make up for mistakes and then move forward with hope, brightly and unapologetically
  2. be in a bad mood and not hide it- I try to be honest and up front especially with family and close friends, I understand now that emotions are linked to a message for me, such as:
    • guilt is telling me I have stepped outside my moral values
    • shame is telling me I am the problem, not that I have a problem
    • joy is telling me this is wonderful, keep it up
    • overwhelmed is telling me to step back and take a breath, there is too much going on
    • sadness says I lost something
    • loneliness says I feel rejected or cast out
    • fear says pay attention, there is a threat
    • gratefulness says I have what I need
    • anger says I feel wronged
    • when I recognize and respond to these emotions, the effects contribute to healing, when I ignore them, they expand and fill to the corners of my mind, hindering a growth mindset
  3. be selective about who they spend their time with- some people drain energy, one can only give so much before reserves are drained
    • “Not everyone is gonna think I’m funny and pretty and that’s ok, they’re wrong though.”
  4. stick up for themselves- including sharing their thoughts with the right people in the right setting to advocate for self, this can be done gently
  5. set boundaries- setting and changing boundaries is exhausting but it is worth it to make sure the minutes of your day and the units of your energy go to the best outlet
    • “I’m training my boundaries to be stronger than my empathy, I’m tired.”
  6. say no!- saying no will often be in your best interest, be prepared for those that ask more than you can give by having the words prepared ahead of time, ‘I am not in a position to help with that” Here are some ways your body says no, hopefully you are listening
    • clenching your jaw
    • hunching, making yourself look small
    • fingers curling in to make fists
    • heart rate increase
    • constantly feeling fatigue
    • tight body and breath
    • knot in the stomach
    • lump in the throat
    • feeling frozen, incapable of moving
    • hard time sharing what is happening
    • irritability is a first sign that your nervous system is dysregulated (eat something with protein or fat to stabilize your blood sugar, then take a brisk walk to move back into a regulated state)
  7. make mistakes or say the wrong thing- you are allowed to be human, don’t hold it against yourself, just admit the mistake, correct any wrongs and move forward
  8. regret choices they have made in the past- “to be old and wise you must first be young and stupid.”

I am still learning to prioritize myself. And not to feel guilty when I need rest. To block out the world and think about what my body needs to feel better right now. Often I need to step away from something I enjoy. And then I can rejoin when I am ready. Instead of pushing past the point of exhaustion and paying for it for days. Always training my brain to see the positives.

Love and Laughter: The Prescription with an Expiration Date

Health does not always come from medicine. Most of the time it comes from peace of mind, peace in the heart, peace in the soul. It comes from laughter and love.

–@powerofpositivity

I would add to that, these aids will not cure a chronic illness but they will heal parts of you. And this will affect the way you interpret pain. The goal is to turn down the dial on the pain.

Pain can be agonizing and constant. In such cases peace is a distant dream. Out of reach. Perhaps for a time. Hold fast. And do not let go.

To those in the thick of pain, I see you. Here is your shout out. To those who are battling unseen and misunderstood illnesses, you are not alone. I see your efforts. To ride that thinnest of all lines. Between wanting to engage in life and overdoing it. I propose there is no way to do this perfectly. But there is a way that will work perfectly for you. You should go do that. Do all the things that are best for you! And remember:

You can only come to the morning through the shadows.

J.R.R. Tolkien

Nature’s Path to Problem-Solving

solvitur ambulando (latin)

“it is solved by walking”

One of my greatest joys this summer has been walking in the forests. Doing so has brought a peace to my life and my nerves that I didn’t know how much I needed. Forest walks are available by going to my How To Get in Touch page. Let me know your availability and I will put something together.

In summary, your best is 100%.. You have something to offer. Silent powers are working for your good. You are amazing. I am not unique but I think I have something to offer. We all have needs. Until they are met, we can get stuck. Keep learning and taking in information. You are not forgotten. With chronic illness and pain. It often seems we live in a different world. But we have the ability to rise from survival to stellify. Directly as a result of what we have survived. And how it has authored our brilliance.

May your daily multivitamin, your pelvic floor, your intuition and your self-appreciation be strong.

Might I suggest that we go outside and chase down a bit of joy?

@wonderled.life

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The company on my last walk was as outstanding as the wildflowers. Thanks for joining me!

Hypermobility and Its Impact on Mental Health

pammunkholm

WOODNOTE- a natural, musical sound, like birdsong in a forest

In My Hypermobility Era

I will get back to my summer adventures in the forest next week. The last few weeks have been tough. So today I am sharing more about the battle I am facing with my joints. I try not to speak about it in negative terms as a general rule. But today.

Er. Ma. Gersh!

I have started seeing my physiotherapist on a monthly basis. Which is more often than I see some of my kids. And they live with me! I have felt so close to getting on top of the subluxations. For so long!

And yet, the battle continues. When the joint slips farther than it should, it often gets stuck. This has a compounding effect. Because the joint that was injured primarily will no longer function correctly. This results in adjacent muscles having to pick up the slack. They will start to be overused. In EDS patients, especially, this is unfortunate. Because overuse of any body part, can result in more joints experiencing a subluxation.

I’m a Zebra; The Ehlers Danlos Phenomenon

While I have not been officially diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. My hypermobility condition is very similar and I have many of the same symptoms. According to Dr. Alan Spanos,” If a patient thinks they have EDS, they are usually right.” Diagnosis parameters have changed a few times. Maybe I will have EDS when it changes next.

Pickles are Great; Until You’re in One

The last time I had an adjustment, my physio and I were working from a different angle. Instead of treating all the joints from the bottom, up. Like we have been doing lately. We tried treating what we thought was the primary injury. Caused by pulling a wagon with my 3 year old grandson in it. That bit of a twist, we thought, must be the first and then other joints follow. So we treated my upper back first.

When I left the appointment everything felt good. But over the next two days, I could tell, my body was not settling correctly. I had two trips planned and another appointment did not fit before I had to leave. That means I have been climbing mountains on one trip. And supervising a group of 40-some teenage girls at camp for the other, all with multiple subluxations and resulting pain. This is my life with Hypermobility.

What in the District One of Hunger Games IS THIS?

The diagnosis process for someone with hypermobility or EDS can be terribly frustrating. I would go to my doctor. She would run tests. She sent me to specialists. For years, every test came back normal. This should be a good thing. But when you feel something is wrong and you are being told, “All is well!”, depression and other mental illness creep in. The years of being left untreated and without hope, caused further problems.

Doctors started to talk more about treating my mental conditions and the physical symptoms were ignored. I started to think this was all in my head. If I just ignore it, I should be able to live a normal life. I minimized my pain to appear normal. I didn’t want to be a complainer anymore. I got really good at acting. But the pain remained and was causing more and more problems.

Your brain wasn’t made for this much noise. Grow a garden, touch some dirt.

-@twopawsfarmhouse

The Not-So-Subtle Art of Burnout

Shortly thereafter, I entered the phase of chronic illness burnout. I lost hope of ever finding healing. I didn’t want to go through the appointments and treatments. I was lost in my pain and grief at the life I was losing. And to make matters worse, those who were supposed to help me, didn’t believe me. The chronic pain was relentless and I felt too weak to do anything about it.

I started this stage of my life, with the perspective that chronic pain wouldn’t stop me. I wanted to work and play and live. I’d seen multiple stories of people who lost limbs or faced cancer. Against all odds, they went on to run marathons or achieve higher levels of scholastic learning. And yet, here I was with my wobbly joints and I couldn’t run to the living room. I had to adjust my expectations. And my life. To fit what was happening. Not what I hoped would happen.

When you experience continual physical symptoms that impact your ability to function in life. Your mental health is going to be affected, at times. The mentality of, ‘don’t let your chronic pain get to you’ is dangerous. I am learning instead to accept what is and make a game plan from there. Do not shame and blame yourself for having something you cannot control.

Decoding the Language of Symptoms

Craniocervical instability is a constant for me this month. Heralding a near perpetual headache that feels like my head is too heavy for my neck to hold. At other times, it is more of a pressure headache. Caused by an impairment of CFS flow. When I yawn or sneeze I think my head will detach. Other people who suffer in the same way can have brain stem compression. Symptoms include: tachycardia, heat intolerance, fainting, extreme thirst and chronic fatigue.

I often experience pain in the joints where the ribs meet the breastbone. Known as costochondritis. Inflammation builds there when the joints of the vertebrae meeting the spine have a subluxation. This feels like tightness in my chest. When I sit upright, the pain is excruciating. And certain movements can jar that vertebrae and cause pain, making it harder to act normal. I can’t sleep on my side. And my running has been put on hold. I have to walk instead😠 .

I have ongoing disc problems. Discs are supposed to help cushion and support the spine. In EDSers these discs are more rigid than usual. When these discs are damaged, pain will radiate down the legs and into the arms. In the past I have suffered from leaking or ruptured discs leading to pinched nerves. At this stage I am grateful to have built up enough muscles to protect those damaged spots.

There are 360 joints in the human body. How many do you have out today? I can count over 20 spots. Dislocations must be terribly painful. I have never experienced one. But I know subluxations. And they are agonizing.

Eye-Opening Symptoms You Can’t Ignore!

Pain makes sleep hard to smoke out. Add to that the fact, as an EDS or hypermobile patient you also make extra adrenaline. Bully for you! This overstimulating effect makes sleep even more arduous. The body continues to make extra adrenaline overnight leaving a body unrefreshed after a shallow sleep. This added endowment of adrenaline also brings with it, anxiety, abnormal nervousness and panic attacks.

After all this, it can be hard not to feel bitter when you see others out and accomplishing. Especially when it is something you would have liked to accomplish, but now you are not able.

And more especially when people say, you can do it anyway! No. I can’t.

I used to play the piano. I enjoyed practicing big, loud songs that used all my fingers and arm strength. I could make the floors of the house shake. I no longer play at all. Any use of my fingers results in pain in my hands, then arms, then shoulders, then back. I have not been able to get on top of this pain. It breaks my heart when I hear someone play the songs I used to play.

The lonliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.

-F Scott Fitzgerald

Writing is painful and often illegible due to loose finger and hand joints. After years of pain, my hands tremble and shake.

Here is where I make my justification for my crooked teeth. Dental and oral issues are common in EDSers. Teeth are prone to fracture from minor traumas. Gum fragility has led to bleeding gums. In recent years I have struggled with the joint of the jaw. Chewing too much or taking too big of a bite has led to subluxations. EDS also affects speech and swallowing muscles.

The brain fog is so real, I can’t even. I will forget things, feel confusion, have trouble processing information. There are times when it is worse. But there are no times when it is better. I feel like an inside out version of myself. I can still remember who I was, but I can’t seem to bring her back.

Heed the Symptoms or Suffer the Consequences

A crucial reminder here that doing your best does not mean pushing past all your limits. Ignoring your body’s signals. And using every minute of every day to be productive. Doing your best is what you can do within the boundaries of what your body needs from you. Listening to its signals. Without harming your mental and physical health. Not what you can accomplish when you disregard it.

Most days, I pattern my life around my symptoms. I often experience debilitating fatigue. Especially when I forget the pattern. It takes days, not hours, to catch up. I want to approach each day mindful of the energy I have and where I will need it most. I also have to walk the tight rope of sleep and exercise. Laying down and using functional movement. Too much or too little of these will throw me into a surging mudslide. That I do not see coming. And once it starts, there is no option but to ride it out.

I hoped to age like fine wine but it appears that with EDS I will relate more to an aged avocado.

Muscle spasms that make me twitch and pop are a common symptom these days. Probably due to overuse of muscles all day long. I lie down and it can look like I have popcorn popping in my torso.

I finally found my rhythm when I realized even the steps backward were part of the dance.

-unknown

All This is a Fine How-Do-You-Do; Now What?

With all this going on. I am here to tell you today and everyday, there is beauty in this life. Life is worth living. For the joy, and the pain. When you believe this and start to treat yourself as a whole. Your life will be forever changed. Mine was. 

I don't ever crave extraordinary moments anymore.
Just small, gentle hums of beauty streaming from below, above and beyond simply from paying attention. 
Sound. Light. Shadow. Art. Warmth. The night. The morning. 
Dreams that are not far away but exist right here-
Already in my days, hands, and heart.
-Victoria Erikson, Rhythms and Roads

Holistic Patient Care Approach

Holistic health focuses on mind, body and spirit as one unit. Recognizing the cycles. Honouring womanhood. Instead of silencing symptoms, we seek to understand the root cause. And then offer natural, supportive remedies. Like herbs, nutrition, energy work, and somatic practices. Empowering women to trust their intuition, tune into the body, and reclaim health in a way that’s aligned and sustainable. It is a collaboration with the body’s natural intelligence.

Oubaitori

The idea that people, like flowers, bloom in their own time and in their own way

Have you heard of the blue mind theory? “It is the science that shows that being in, near or on the water allows you to fall into a meditative state. Increasing happiness. Lowering cortisol levels. And promoting inner peace for your overall well-being.” teaandtranquil.com

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Seemingly Trivial Exercises; Substantial Results

Mindfully Natural Ways to Cope

  • Mindful listening- try to discern what the birds are saying
  • Mindful awareness- balance stones on one another
  • Mindful observation- forage local plants
  • Mindful immersion- forest art
  • Mindful appreciation- go on a wonder filled walk
  • Mindful service- tend to your garden of kindness

Healing Meditations

  • Visualization- forming a mental image, guided or self
  • Walking- find a gentle, flowing pace
  • Mindfulness- focusing on awareness
  • Mantra- repeating positive words of affirmation
  • Sound healing- uses vibrations
  • Progressive relaxation- scanning the body to reduce tension
  • Focused breathing- focusing on the breath to ease stress

Steps To An Empathy Walk

  • Find an example of a struggle in nature
  • Find something that brings up feelings of gratitude in you
  • Find an example of unity in diversity
  • Find an example of support and kindness in nature
  • Find an example of something that is healing for you
  • Share all this with someone who cares

Following are three questions that you can ask yourself every morning to design your day according to your current needs. Reminding you to start with intention instead of output.

  1. How do I want to feel today?
  2. What is one thing that would help me feel content at the end of the day?
  3. What can I release from my to-do list?

I find it more pleasant to start the day with clarity and softness. Making it more likely to move through the day as my highest self.

I love my natural remedies. Foremost among them being forest therapy. For well being. For healing. For finding yourself. There are so many ways and reasons to forest bathe. Join me on a forest walk by contacting me on my How To Get in Touch page.

In failure, may we find dignity. In loss, may we find wisdom. In pain may we find growth. May our souls rise. Ever rise.

-Phil Tucker, The White Song

Keep rising my friends!

Oh, Canada!

pammunkholm

I have been to the mountains. They were wonderful. They also did not allow for posting anything due to lack of a signal in most areas.

I have been looking forward to sharing what I saw. See if you can feel the energy of this place.

I climbed a mountain! 2500 ft of elevation. 3 hours up and 3 hours down (after sunset 😱). Long story short, I survived. I have so many stories to share but I am off on my next adventure. Take care and enjoy these summer days. 🌞

Rewilding: Embrace Nature This Summer

pammunkholm

Maybe the clouds and the trees and the flowers love looking at you too.

-Anonymous

Welcome to summer! We made it. Congratulations to all the Saskatchewanians.

Have you heard the term re-wilding? As we talk about wildness. I feel it only proper to start with a couple of personal stories. From when I was in the trenches of raising three crazy boys. It’s not the type of wildness we will be considering today. But those days were filled with all kinds of wild. Those darlings were like an orchestra that was constantly warming up. I felt like I was four days past my bed time for 23 years. So many days went sideways. And sadly, there was nothing I could do about it.

3 Wild Boys: Tales of Horseplay and Havoc

In the first memory, we find my youngest. In the bathroom. I heard him cheering and walked in to find him with his pants down around his ankles. No time for such useless actions as pulling up one’s pants when one has a phenomenal idea. The cause of his delighted cheering was the race he was having with his brother’s battery operated toothbrushes. Across the bathroom floor. 😝

My second memory takes us to the living room. I hear a raucous going on in there where all three boys were “playing.” Not a big surprise to hear things ramping up. I was on an important call and chose to ignore them. Until I heard the middle child chanting, “fight, fight, fight!” 🙄

And to complete the set. A final story about the oldest. Though he wasn’t very old at the time. He was trying on his new shirt. He came out of his room to show me the fit. Smoothing it down the front, he thought it was fine. I thought so too until I noticed something on this brand new shirt. I went to brush it away to make sure it wasn’t a stain. Instead of brushing it stuck to my finger. “What is this?” I asked as he fell into a fit of giggles. 😟 “what is it?” “A booger,” he snickered. 🤢

But this is not the type of wild we are discussing today. Nor are we discussing me from my wild teenage years. Or what happens if I try to stay out late these days.

Absorbing Nature: The Art of Re-Wilding

What we are talking about is a return to nature. To our true selves without all the gadgets and distractions that get in the way. We are talking about stepping away from our expected path. Living free and organic. In a more natural state and less domesticated. We will discuss how to absorb nature. And different ways I am attempting to rewild myself.

Shed the submissiveness of domestication.

–Daniel Vitalis

Re-wilding is an invitation to live quite simply. Unashamed. And in tune with the natural world around you. There is a sacred, pure energy that flows in nature. And when you are surrounded by it in a forest, that energy flows into you. Something that will feel like a whisper. That a part of you has been disconnected and is now re-established, back in place. The way it should be. The way it once was.

Biophilia

the ancient memory that lives in our bones- a quiet longing to belong to the earth, a deep and sacred bond that awakens our senses and nurtures our souls

This feeling gets obscured by the distractions and emotions of everyday life. To meet our societal expectations and norms. We must do as the masses have done. There is no other way. Fiddlesticks!

Re- wilding says, I will not. I will find another way. My way. But this takes a certain knowing of oneself. To be able to take that step.

When all the voices and reasoning of others contradict. I encourage you to dim those voices. And turn up the volume of your own intuition. The one that calls you to accept yourself. And takes you back to your roots. To the call of the wild. To your inherently bewitching soul.

Sound good? Leading to the next question. How is it done?

She might be down to earth and rooted in reality by her responsibilities, but her soul is a wild one; always set on finding magic in sunsets and sunrises that others take for granted.

-Daniel Mercury

Your Outdoor Daily Prescription

A good start to re- wilding is to get a daily dose of nature. Following is a list of invitations to do daily in July. Mix them up to suit your day. But fit one thing in daily. Track to see if your mental and emotional health improve over this time. Some of these activities seem geared to young children. This is part of the process. Be a kid again. Add to this list. Or make your own. But the idea is to get out there and connect.

Rewild yourself in July!11} nature scavenger hunt22} bird watching
1} make a nature bracelet12} make a bug hotel23} paint with nature
2} bike ride13} explore a new trail24} explore a new natural area
3} rock painting14} worm hunt25} sink or float
4} rainbow color hunt15} water play26} nature sensory bin
5} make a nest16} night walk (try not to get kidnapped)27} nature journaling
6} take a closer look17} build a fort28} forest art
7} mud pies18} paint with mud29} curiosity walk
8} fill a box with tiny treasures19} animal track hunt30} find examples of interconnectedness
9} puddle jumping. 20} tree/ leaf rubbings31} silence walk- use your auditory senses
10} salt dough fossils21} animal observation

This is a movement of sorts. Where we normalize quietly existing without the need to defend or explain ourselves. Wouldn’t it be lovely, as chronic comrades, to have healthy days at work. Where instead of calling in sick we can call in healthy. “I feel fabulous today and I cannot waste it at the office. I will be building a fort in the forest instead. If you need me, I cannot be reached.”

She beats to the beauty of her wildflower heart and seashore soul.

–Angie Weiland- Crosby

Enchanted Escapes: My Forest Future

As I grow older I see the beauty of living surrounded by nature. I want a house and yard full of plants and trees. Weird rocks I have collected. A garden. I want to take care of my animals and write stories and posts by a window with sunlight shimmering through. As my crazy hair gets more gray and wiry.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m like this because I drank from the hose. Is it weird that I just want to talk to trees and animals? Bob Ross didn’t think so.

I guess I’m a little weird. I like to talk to trees and animals. That’s okay though, I have more fun than most people.

-Bob Ross

And isn’t that what lifts us up on the bad days? Finding a way to absorb the good and discard the bad. Can you absorb nature? I think so.

I can go for a walk and take in the sights and sounds and it can be good. Or I can go along that same trail and really take in what I see, smell, touch and hear. And absorb the good energy. Remember that your soul knows nature. It is familiar with that feeling. Society and modern living is what is foreign. We yearn to go back to our roots.

When I look back on my life, I want to see that I was passionate and weird instead of just trying to be everyone’s cup of tea.

–Wild Woman Sisterhood

Sorry if I’m not your cup of tea. I’m not even my own cup of tea. I’m barely a cup and I don’t like tea. I’m more like a rusty bucket of haunted bog water. Sorry if I’m not your rusty bucket of haunted bog water.

–TragicAllyHere on X

Can I get an Amen?

As I look back over the years I can see I’ve come full circle. At the age of 9 I wanted to live in the forest. Growing my food and living off the land. In our little playhouse. To barter and use pine cones as currency. Over the years, the allure of a big house and fancy cars and all the commodities grabbed me. But now in my forties I have come back to desiring to live in the forest. To grow my own food and live off the land. In a tiny house. To barter and use pine cones as currency. This is where I will end up if I allow my wild heart to lead the way.

life is simply a mix of mayhem and magnolias, so embrace this gentle riot and gather flowers along the way.

–Kat Savage

Where Will Your Wanderlust Lead You?

Liminal

the transitional space between who you once were, and who you are becoming; on the threshold of significant change.

Join me in this liminal phase. Where we choose who we want to become.

As summer days begin. Do not get caught up in the mess of becoming the “hot girl of summer” instead join me. We will be holding our own “feral nature girl summer.” We will go in the woods to find trails and creeks. We will collect rocks and prefer animals and trees over people.

She came to her garden and whispered to the plants until her smile returned and her mind was calm.

-unknown

This is what my time to re-wild looked like this week. A craving for the sand between my toes. And the streaming river water up to my thighs. The sun on my face. A quiet space of bird song. Head space to enjoy the expanse of changing clouds and skittering bugs. A peace that is not often sought in this world. Gadzooks! I found it!

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Wildflowers can’t be controlled and neither can the girl with a soul boundless as the sky, and a spirit as free and wild as the ocean.

– Melody Lee

Try it out my friends, and then tell the others!

Harnessing Positive Energy: Boost Your Vibration Daily

pammunkholm

Outside the open window, the morning air is all awash with angels.

-Richard Wilbur

I am loving the sunshine today! It makes me so happy. Welcome to thighs- sticking- to- plastic- chair weather!

Today we are talking energy. When I talk about energy. The most common questions are, do you mean how much energy we have in a day? The energy in a space? Energy from the earth? The answer is Yes! It all goes together.

Energy: The Bright, The Dark, and The Dreadful

Everything has an energy to it. People have energy. You can tell when you sit beside someone that has a bad energy. Or a bright sparkly energy. Before they even speak.

Animals have energy. I understand that all dogs have good energy. Unless they take on the energy of their negative- energy owner. I can’t say the same about cats.

Even plants and nature itself hold an energy. It is positive flowing energy. That’s why we feel so good when we are in a forest. We can feel the good energy all around us. It permeates our bodies.

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What to Expect—And What Might Just Surprise You!

Today I will be exploring why seeking to be a positive energy is so important. How to tell if you are stuck in a negative energy. Energy drainers, that we want to avoid, when possible. And energy givers. Those things we want to take in profusely. What does a healthy, positive energy look like? What do those people need to watch out for? We will discuss ways those with a negative energy can turn that around. Finally we will talk about how the forest helps and affirmations to protect your energy.

In essence, learn how to heal your energy, protect your energy, understand your energy. Plus, learn how to schedule your most relaxing hour. To bring your energy back up and regulate your nervous system. Stick around.

Your Positive Energy Is the Only Currency That Won’t Get You Audited!

Your positive energy is your greatest currency. Your family, your work buddies, your friends. They all seek it. Because good energy is contagious. Have you ever been around someone with infectious energy? You can’t help but feel a little lifted after being around them.

We all know the 11th commandment, thou shalt not let low- vibin- sketchy energy penetrate thine aura. Learn how to protect your energy. Fiercely. It is not selfish to do so; it is- self preservation.

The energy we seek to emit is embodied in the Bulgarian word, Ailyak. Based on the definition by theintrepidguide.com, it translates to, “The subtle art of doing everything calmly and without rushing, whilst enjoying the experience and life in general.”

Signs You’re Trapped in a Cycle of Negativity

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels.com

Let’s talk about signs of being stuck in a negative energy. These are some of the signs. You will sense that you are struggling to set and achieve goals. That underlying sense of anger and frustration always being right under the surface. Having a general dislike of people. More than usual. One may have a sense of impending doom. Contention seems to follow you. A lack of mental and physical energy. When you do sleep it is anything but restful. Communication with others is difficult. Accessing concentration is a struggle.

This is an odd person for me to reference. But Brent follows HeavyD Sparks religiously. And we were listening to an older podcast of his the other day. I can’t find the actual quote but he was talking about negative feedback. When you hold two live microphones together you get a high pitch squeal. It will grow and grow until you take them apart. The same goes for a person with negative energy. When they enter a space, the energy shifts. And if they have another “live” negative energy seeker. The squeal gets louder and louder until we step away. I am not speaking only of people in this energy having an argument. That is one example. But more likely we get two negative energies together and they play off each other. They can begin by being upset with a cause or a circumstance. By the end of the conversation, that cause or circumstance is the scum of the earth! How dare they?

Where focus goes, energy flows.

You will have the opportunity to practice keeping your energy high and positive when negative energy enters your space. It is not easy. Keep in mind. You have an affect on those in your space for good or bad. Depending on your response.

What are some other things that are draining your energy? Do any of these apply to you?

  1. overthinking
  2. social media
  3. gossiping
  4. resentment
  5. dehydration
  6. clutter
  7. poor sleep habits
  8. negativity
  9. skipping breaks
  10. complaining
  11. one- sided relationships
  12. people pleasing
  13. unclear boundaries
  14. negative self talk
  15. stress
  16. worry

Such a jumbled mix of things. But they all, at times, have taken me to a place of anger or upset. If used inappropriately or as a form of avoidance these are all on my Do Not or at least Use Cautiously list. Overall, just a general violation of my own rhythm is what results.

Discovering Your Inner Sunshine: A Trove of Positive Energy

Now let’s flip it around and look for those things that feed us energy. The right things for us will always give us energy. That’s how we know they are good.

  1. nature
  2. fresh air
  3. friends and family
  4. inspiring music
  5. hydration
  6. movement
  7. sun on my skin
  8. whole foods
  9. good sleep
  10. creativity
  11. dancing
  12. hugs
  13. doing something you love
  14. meditation
  15. positive thoughts
  16. cold shower

Your energy is sacred. Like a delicate flame, it can be easily influenced by the winds of those around you. Build strong boundaries to protect your inner light, allowing it to shine brightly without being dimmed by the energies of others.

=Candice Erickson- Perham

Are you a person that has a high energy? Or some would call it a high vibration. I think of them as people who feel like sunshine.

Sunshine People: Natural Attractors

People are drawn to you. Kids and animals pick you out in a room. Strangers open up to you easily. You have the ability to shift the energy in a room. Toxic people are offended by your existence. It mocks their ability to control the mood. People are envious of you but they couldn’t exactly say why.

These types of people are like a magnet. They are highly sought after. These people are often the ones who are so worn out by their 40s that they are getting physically sick. Just an observation of mine.

What can these people do to protect their good energy? What should you do if you are one of these people?

  • take time to relax, restore, reflect
  • choose your battles
  • speak to yourself kindly, especially when emotions are high
  • remember you can step out of any social situation
  • ground yourself every morning (find rituals that bring that sensation)
  • reply to texts and phone calls when you have energy, not at the earliest possible moment
  • in an argument; remember what Brene Brown says,” I am not here to be right, I am here to get it right”

There is so much chaos and upheaval in the world today. This generates a lot of excess, discordant energy in our collective, human field. Make it a daily practice to clear your energy at least once a day. So much of whatever discomfort you might be feeling may have nothing to do with you. Protect your space accordingly.

-saratogaocean.com

Transforming Your Negative Energy: Steps to a Lighter You

What if you are the problem? If you are the holder of negative energy, are you doomed to be the destroyer of energy henceforth and forever? No. There are many ways to clear your negativity. You just have to be willing to take the steps. Including any of the following:

  1. Practice gratitude with a guided meditation or start a gratitude journal
  2. Breathing exercises e.g. box breathing (in for a count of 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, repeat)
  3. Lie in the grass to absorb the earth’s energy
  4. Burn sage to cleanse the air of negativity
  5. Put on a song you love and dance
  6. Go for a nature walk (barefoot if possible)
  7. Take a shower
  8. Visualization of negative energies draining away
  9. Repeat affirmations to increase your good vibes
  10. Bath in epsom salts to cleanse your energy

Be careful that you do not carry the burdens of other people. You are not in charge of any other person’s responsibilities but your own. You are not responsible for how someone responds to the boundaries you create. You do not need to worry about the emotions of another, be aware, but do not take them on. When you are deciding if something is worth your energy, make sure you are involved. Do not put yourself into the conflicts between others. That excludes your own children while they are under your care. Some of those conflicts you should definitely step in on.

From Shadows to Sunshine: The Forest’s Energy Shift

There are so many ways that the forest can bring you good energy. Just being able to see green spaces. A patient’s hospital stay time is decreased and they use less pain medication. Time in nature with trees reduces stress and brain fatigue. Physical movement is generally good for a body. At any level to start.

Did you know that just looking up at trees branches can increase alpha brainwave activity. Making us feel more relaxed and yet more alert. It has to do with the fractal patterns formed by the branches. Add a little glint of sunshine through them and my day is made.

Specifically speaking, pine trees are known for bringing peace of mind and for being a helper tree. It can calm a restless mind. Thoughts and feelings become more harmonious. Just being in contact with a pine tree can start this healing process. Or so “they” say.

Affirm Your Power: Protecting Your Energy with Positive Words

Affirmations seem like a silly practice to some people. But those who have tried it know the power in them. An affirmation is a positive statement. Starting with “I am” or something similar, to bring your energy up or in this case, to protect your energy.

  • I am rooted and grounded, I have all the support I need in this present moment
  • I am choosing to feel grounded, calm, peaceful and secure
  • I am the only one that gets to choose how I feel
  • When I feel overwhelmed I can pause and breathe
  • I choose the power to rise above negative emotions that are not serving me
  • I am strong, steady and grounded
  • I am a powerful, peaceful, abundant energy
  • I am in charge of my energy, I get to choose how I feel in every moment
  • I am always supported and protected
  • I appreciate my ability to remain calm and peaceful in all situations

Find your tiny happy things. like sunshine. Singing along with the radio. Talking to animals. Reading a book you love. Fuzzy blankets. Lunch with a friend. When you find someone as goofy as you. Yummy desserts. Choose to be uplifted by your tiny happy things. To constantly fill your tank.

Cynefin

(Welsh) a place where one feels it ought to live and belong. where nature embraces and whispers its welcome.

This is my unending source of good energy. Nature.

And now for the most relaxing hour! Drumroll, please.

One Hour to Recharge: Shifting Energy from Gloom to Glow

If you have an hour to yourself, this is one way to use it to bring your energy up and regulate your nervous system in the process.

Step 1: 5 min of a breathing meditation, guided or self led

Step 2: Listen to ambient music for 10 min. I highly recommend weightless by Marconi Union

Step 3: For 15 min just close your eyes, nap if you want or just rest your eyes and your brain

Step 4: Find a gentle way to move for 20 min. Yoga. Tai chi. Sway dancing.

Step 5: For the last 10 min write a list of things you are grateful for.

Such a simple list. The benefits are far reaching. Try to schedule an hour to yourself once a week.

Today: soak in what’s real and what’s real is unhurried. The ground. The air. The exhale. The planted seed. The shift. The season.

-Victoria Erickson

That’s all folks. I hope you can relate to some of what I am talking about today. If you are enjoying what you are reading, subscribe with the button at the bottom of the page. If you’d like to hear more about a specific topic, let me know. And if you’d like to go even deeper with me. Shoot me a message and we can find a time for a forest walk. Take care.

It is the month of June, 
The month of leaves and roses,
When pleasant sights salute the eyes,
And pleasant scents the noses. 
-Nathaniel Parker Willis