chronic-pain – Page 2 – SUNBEAM ACRES

Explaining and Embracing Life with Hyper Mobility Issues in My Tissues

February 11, 2025 pammunkholm

And a softness came from the starlight and filled me to the bone.

-W B Yeats

I yearn for this type of softness. Nature provides the way. Even if nature and I are not currently on the best of terms.

Gluggaveour (Icelandic)- (n.) “window- weather”; a weather that looks so nice and picturesque through the window, until you’re actually outside in it; a weather best enjoyed only behind the window. (If that doesn’t describe Saskatoon these days, I don’t know what does)

I. Am. Cold. My body does not like to be cold for several reasons. One of them being my hyper mobility issues. My bones are on a subluxation mission this week. Making my muscles work overtime to hold me together. When I go outside and my muscles tighten up in response to the cold, there isn’t much left to tighten. It feels like I am full of rubber bands that will snap at any time. Today I will be sharing more information on hyper mobility issues. And what to do about it, here on the 124th of February and when spring arrives!

Is there nothing to sing about today? Then borrow a song from tomorrow; sing of what is yet to be. Is this world dreary? Then think of the next.

-Charles H Spurgeon

Forest Therapy Helps

First take a moment to think of one person you could share this blog with. Someone with chronic issues. When we tell our stories, we don’t feel as alone. It is a chance to lift others. If you know someone who will benefit from the camaraderie. Take a moment to hit the share button and send this post or my landing page (sunbeamacres.ca) to them. Make sure you are subscribed. To keep up on all things forest therapy in the spring. Find me on instagram, facebook and X! Tell the others.

Reality vs TV Dramas

My chronic comrades, am I the only one who sees the irony of medical dramas? Maybe there are such hospitals. And maybe there are such doctors. But I have not run across the ones who pause their lives for hours. I’m confident they don’t sit in their office thinking only of me. They don’t throw a ball in a repetitive manner while trying to solve the complex issue of my body. They haven’t run all the tests and stopped at nothing to provide me with answers. Until suddenly, they have the answer (after their hour of regularly scheduled programming obviously). I have not experienced this. Have you?

More like, “After minimal deliberation, we’re pretty sure you are faking it.” First of all, how dare you, sir.

Chronic

Recently I was asked what the doctors are going to do. Because it seems like I am not getting better. I didn’t have the words in the moment. But chronic is chronic. And not every condition has a name. And they definitely don’t all have solutions.

If someone is unable to find solutions to their chronic condition, it is surely not for lack of trying. Hope in chronic illness does not mean hoping for answers. Or miraculous recovery. Or even hope of regaining a certain level of functioning. Those are out of our hands. Even if we are doing all the “right” things. Hope with chronic illness involves trusting your ability to manage whatever your condition throws at you. You will be capable of handling it. And your life can still be full of joy. It is worth living!

Hyper mobility/ Ehlers- Danlos Syndrome

If you missed my last post about my hyper mobility syndrome, I have an undiagnosed connective tissue disorder. Akin to Ehlers- Danlos Syndrome (EDS). I share many of the same symptoms.

This is a fitting description of my symptoms. Resulting in chronic pain.

Having hyper mobility, Ehlers- Danlos ish Syndrome is like if you ordered your structural collagen from Wish. Skin from Shein. Organs from Temu. It looks like it should function. Just not quite up to par.

Describing Chronic Pain

Chronic pain is part and parcel of what I have. If I were to describe that pain. It’s like leg day at the gym was yesterday. Everyday. All the time. Forever. And it’s not just my legs. I have that pain everywhere. Some other people describe what it’s like to live with hyper mobility/ EDS.

It feels like I’m 80. But I’m only 40. – Kimberly A Bates

It feels like having the flu. All the time. -Linnie Lin

I’m slowly disintegrating into particles. – Sarah- Marie Zeraphic- McFarlane

I feel like a marionette and someone else is in charge of the way I move. – Nicole Hess

It’s like riding a bicycle with very loose bolts. – Melissa Drennan

EDS is living the day after a car accident in perpetuity. – Sabrina Winchester

You cannot trust your body to do what it is supposed to. – Emma Stathopoulos

The hair on my skin hurts. – Mary Carlson

I feel like I am falling apart at the seams. – Lisa Sinnott

EDS is feeling insane for years because people tell you there is nothing physically wrong with you, when you know there is. – Sarah Elizabeth Erwin Bloom

The cruelest symptom of our disease is disbelief by medical personnel. – Mary Carlson

It’s like falling down the up escalator indefinitely while bystanders speculate about how you got there, what your injuries might be, and if you really even look hurt. – Jess Elsen

Hormone Changes

One negative aspect of my hyper mobility is the hormone changes that come with being female. Progesterone is known to increase subluxations. Especially leading up to the week of menstruation. Joints loosen and pain tightens muscles. A tragic combination.

During pregnancy there are other hormones present that loosen joints further. Creating a need for the muscles to work overtime. Then add to that the trauma of pregnancy. And giving birth. Looking back I can see why my body gave up on me in my 30s. My 20s were super hard on it. How many of you could say the same?

I miscarrried a baby in 2013. While the loss broke parts of me, the physical strain would have been too much at that time. We had 16 weeks together and I would have gone all the way if it had been up to me. But it wasn’t. I was blessed to have all 3 of my boys in my early 20s. When my body was up to the challenge.

I wanted that one more baby so, so bad. For so, so long. The loss was devastating. Following a short time, I was advised to get a hysterectomy. To solve a large part of the hormone cycle- subluxation cycle- pain cycle. It was all getting to be too hard on me. The idea of letting go of my little caboose to fill out our family, was heartbreaking. I still miss that precious one. But the physical damage was increasing in severity. Spreading to my nerves. So I made the heartbreaking decision to have a hysterectomy. That’s all I’m ready to share on the matter at this time.

We are often told if something doesn’t kill you it will only make you stronger. I agree. But some days I don’t want to be any stronger.

The Chronic Cycle

There are other parts of hyper mobility that can be draining. For me, it is a never ending cycle of going to physiotherapy and having everything put back in place. I leave feeling so much better. One wrong move. Or too much exercise. Or sleeping the wrong way. Or a slip on the ice. Then it’s waiting for physio. Get put back in place. Everything feels good. One wrong move. And we begin again. This cycle is painful in so many ways.

The pain of this is so real to me.

I am very flexible. But in hyper mobility that is a bad thing. It has been said only the cognitive and emotional flexibility we develop is truly a good thing. Through having to navigate a medical system that doesn’t understand and therefore is unable to help us manage our condition.

Brain Fog

Let’s talk about how our thoughts feel as though they are swimming in molasses. Or swirling in a cloud of cotton candy. Like the Lord poured in my brains with a teaspoon and somebody jostled His arm (Apple Dumpling Gang). When the brain is not braining. The struggle is so real.

Or teaching a lesson to a bunch of ladies at church. I often fake it until I remember or change the subject. How many of my friends can tell?😳😊

Brain fog affects more of us than just those with chronic illness. Between stress and medication and toxins. Many of us are suffering some level of brain fog. I forget what I am doing every time I get distracted. I forget what I am saying every time another thought comes along. I forget where I am driving on a regular basis. I cannot access parts of my brain that used to work. I used to be an avid speller. I got people’s names right. I remembered long passwords made up of random letters and numbers. I kept my family on track and on time. Those parts of my brain have fled or have taken refuge somewhere. I d0 not have access to them.

Brain fog is not just forgetfulness, confusion or feeling out of it. I often feel isolated from my reality. And parts of my personality. I feel detached. Like an outside observer. There are days when the effects of my brain fog are debilitating. And extremely frustrating. Until I can let that go. Which is sometimes easy. Wait! What was I talking about?

These symptoms are minimal to those that have not experienced them. I’ve been asked how my symptoms interfere with my daily activities. **Blank stare**. My symptoms ARE my daily activities. My life is planned around them. And I often half function in a hurried state when trying to get something accomplished. I see the amount of stuff to be done. And the number of spoons. The math doesn’t math. I feel similar to what a sloth must feel being chased by a cheetah. There was never a chance.

Hard Pills to Swallow

In addition, there are pills that come with hyper mobility, other than the actual pills. That are hard to take. These are the pills I find hard to swallow that come with any chronic condition:

Giving up a career- I loved teaching piano. It was so hard to say good bye to my students. Packing up my piano supplies has been even harder. After five years I have started to pick away. But the grief surfaces and I set it aside again.
Losing or changing relationships- I have amazing friends. Some that have lasted for years and changing lives. Other people have slipped away. They took more energy than I had or the other person couldn’t handle a different me. Chronic illness has changed me. The process has eroded me to my most essential parts. That means the way some relationships look is different now. Not the way I would have planned.
Accepting the term chronic- It has taken time to come to terms with the fact that this condition is chronic. There is no cure. There is a lot I can do to manage it. But it will always be a part of me. I will always have pain. And then the pill of others not understanding. If they are not familiar with chronic, they might have a hard time accepting the limits of the medical world.
Accepting physical limitations- I like to be strong. I used to do the P90X workouts. I had muscles I previously did not know existed. Now I need to bring my husband with me to pick up a chair. I need to sit often. My brain does not function as it should. I need reminders for everything. And then there are still times where something important falls through the cracks. And I need to acknowledge and accept. Then work within my capacity.
Great desires to do what I used to do- I am so happy I can run. For years I just wanted to run again. And now I can! There are other movements or actions I am working towards. But I need to curb my expectations. Some days I get on the treadmill and I am so fast! Like a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a truck. Seven days ago.

Are there pills you find hard to swallow with chronic illness?

Puddle of Exhaustion

Which brings me to my next point. All of this is mentally and physically exhausting. The hyper mobility and resulting pain is tiring. The cycle of subluxations is tiring. Brain fog is tiring. We are just tired. I always feel like I’m about four days past my bedtime.

So many moments of my day, I wish there was a rope available to hang over. I have no more strength to hold my upper body and those muscles greatly desire to let go. So if you see me looking like the people in the picture, rope or no, now you know why. I’m just hung over. (I haven’t been pickled in decades)

One More

Proprioception. I have none. And from that point it gets worse as I get more tired. Actually, I can tell where I am in a space. But navigating within that space gets less easy as I get more tired. When I have subluxations, I am essentially crooked. So unless I am paying attention I walk crooked. I run into walls. I walk into people. I take a step and end up on the exact thing I was trying to avoid.

There is so much more to EDS and hyper mobility.

This post is getting too long and there is more about my EDS/ hyper mobility. So I will revisit this condition in the future. I hope this information is useful and that you can relate to parts, if not the whole condition. We all have parts that need healing.

Before we go I want to share some ways to handle any chronic issues.

Number one on the list as always is:

FOREST THERAPY!

Join me in the spring to see what forest therapy looks like. It is not just walking around in the forest. It is mindful and focused work. And then you will see the healing begin. I still struggle and suffer at times. But the forest brings me back to life. Back to joy.

If you have any questions feel free to email me on my How To Get in Touch page. I’d love to hear from you. Remember to subscribe and share with anyone you think could use a little forest therapy.

Once There Was a Snowman

Until that time. To help us navigate these terribly cold and icy days. Take some advice from this cute little snowman.

Be a jolly, happy soul
Spend time outdoors (unless it is even too cold for the snowmen)
Stay COOL
It’s okay to be bottom heavy
Stay in the environment and energy that will help you avoid meltdowns
Be well rounded
Make others happy
Remember life is short

You are strong, chronic comrade. You are not alone and you can do this. And if you feel broken…

Oh but the irony is, broken people are not fragile.

-Clinton Sammy Jr

Mindfulness and Intentions: A New Year’s Guide

December 31, 2024 pammunkholm

A great hope fell. You heard no noise. The ruin was within.

-Emily Dickinson

The purpose of this post is to encourage you. Do not enter the new year with those words of Emily Dickinson as your guide. It can be easy to over shoot in our plans for the celebration of this night. Followed shortly thereafter by overwhelm at the thought of executing our way through the year itself.

I posted the following on Instagram this week. As taught by Jack Cornfield. If you aren’t connected to me there, look me up @sunbeamacres. The pictures are from one of my more recent forest therapy walks.

Author Kristin Neff said,

We hold ourselves to unrealistic standards of perfection and then we judge ourselves when we don’t live up to them. The thing is, we aren’t supposed to be perfect. But we are supposed to transform.

Are New Year’s Resolutions For You?

Goals are great. But they don’t have to start at the beginning of the year. And when January 3rd comes around and you missed a day, it is not the end. You can actually try again. And here’s the kicker, you don’t even have to feel bad about it!

It can be overwhelming at this time of year to hear everyone talking about their resolutions. Especially if that isn’t your thing. (It does not have to be your thing, shh it’s a secret! Don’t upset the status quo.)

IF you are a goal setter. And IF you find renewed strength to try again at the beginning of the year, I applaud you. The rest of us will be over here attempting not to be intimidated and feel bad about ourselves around you.

We will just keep doing our best.

But where to start?

Suzuki Roshi said,

The most important thing is remembering the most important thing.

How do you know what your most important thing is? It will be different for you than for others. And it will change at various seasons of your life.

Intention

The word intention has become muddled in recent years. But if you think of it as where the compass of your heart is pointing. What is your intention for this year?

We get to decide. We get to set where the compass points. But what will be most transforming for us is to follow those glimpses and glimmers our heart is giving us. I suggest this is what lines us up to our true north. Set your compass to your true north for exponential transformation.

Mindful like a… Sniper?

If you were to sit mindfully to consider your upcoming year. What thoughts and ideas would you be open to find? Which brings up another muddle-y word of late. Mindful.

To be mindful is to be present, to see things clearly. But if that alone was the criteria then snipers would be the world’s most mindful people. If you were to picture a mindful retreat, are snipers the central figures? It confused AI. This picture would not generate without all the guns being pointed at one another.

Oooooohm. Does the process know we are trusting it?

To be mindful then, we are attempting to see clearly. AND we need to know why we are being mindful. There needs to be purpose. Your purpose at this time might be setting your intentions for the year. AND finally, we need to be aware of how we are paying attention. Is it with attitude? Or judgment? Pause to consider how that difference would affect your ability to be mindful. And in tune to the intention of your heart.

To put this all together. To define mindfulness. It is intentionally paying attention in a kind and open way.

Join me in intentionally paying attention. In a kind and open way. As we decide where the compass of our individual heart is pointing. To combat any New Year overwhelm.

A New Pattern to Transformation

I also suggest a new pattern, Instead of goal, success, success, fail, success, fail, give up. How about, Rhythm. Rest. Renewal, Restoration.

Your rhythm is your own. Are you familiar with your rhythm? It is your tempo. Your beat. Your movement. One must sit still, alone, long enough to sense their own rhythm. Where are you going too fast? Where do you need a more consistent pace? Find your rhythm. Sense it. Protect it.

Rest is healing. Rest is right. Rest is not lazy. Rest is not wasteful. Rest is often the most profitable thing you can do for your body and your soul. Rest is when growth happens. When you go to the gym and push your muscles. The fibers of those muscles sustain damage or injury. AFTER the workout, the body repairs those fibers by fusing them which increases the mass and size of the muscles. When we seek higher learning. We push our minds to take in and retain information. It feels like the information is going to start leaking out of our ears. There is hardly time to sleep. But in getting less sleep the ability to take in information is more challenging. In resting comes growth and renewal.

Renewal is to replenish. To make effective for an additional period. What if we take time to rest and are made more effective for an additional period? Instead of pushing ourselves to the brink and then resting. I am still learning how to do this myself. I have to keep going back to my rhythm. Not feeling pushed to match the rhythm of others around me. At this time of renewal of glad tidings. Of goals. Of generosity. Take time for renewal of yourself.

Restoration. To bring back into existence. To bring back to a former state of health, soundness or vigor. There are days I need to be brought back into existence. This can happen at the end of a long day or sadly, the very beginning. While my desire to have my former state of health is considerable. I will take any amount or form of restoration that comes from this pattern.

In a Nutshell

Set your goals within reach. Do not strive for perfection. Seek instead for transformation. Find YOUR most important thing. Sit mindfully to set the compass of your heart to know where and how the transformation can take place. Have your new pattern for this year be rhythm, rest, renewal, restoration. Find and protect your rhythm. Enjoy and seek rest. Recognize the renewal that opens to restoration. Rinse and repeat.

Chronic Comrades

My sweet broken- feeling chronic comrades. Chronic mental and physical illness, chronic pain, chronic fatigue. The following verse makes my heart both melt into it because somebody is speaking to my soul. While at the same time it cringes for what we have suffered.

Maybe one intention for the year would be to make peace with our “monsters”.

every night she
sings lullabies
to her burdens
and fears because
that's what has 
to be done. 
the monsters
have to fall
asleep before 
she can.
-JmStorm

Know you are seen and understood comrades. Then work to diagnose and soothe your “monsters”-physical and mental, seen and unseen. In any way that works for you. Forest therapy is among the tools in your toolbox.

Crushing it…

My greatest intentions for the year will be in this forest therapy business. Stay tuned to see my rates, days & times, 6 wk starter packs, subscription boxes, etc. I am excited to finish developing and start sharing with all of you for the spring.

Take care my friends. I sincerely hope it is a Happy New Year.

Heartfelt Holidays: A Spoonie’s Joyful Celebration

December 24, 2024 pammunkholm

I have been posting my twelve days of Christmas according to a spoonie on my instagram page. For this late post on Christmas Eve I am sharing those posts here.

I looove stars. As a teenager, I would sit backwards on the seat of the car. With my back resting on the dash I could see the whole sky. When my boyfriend (now hubby) drove out on the highway. I wouldn’t do that now. But I still love getting out of the city and away from the lights to see the starlit sky. This eve marks the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. On this night we remember the star that heralded his birth. HE brings me more peace than all the other remedies combined. He is my High Priest of Good Things to Come. Whatever your faith. Whatever you celebrate, I with you the happiest of holidays.

What is the most important part of Christmas for you? Family? The meal? Gift giving? That is what we chronic comrades should focus on this year. The most important part for each of us, whatever that may be. We don’t get to take it all in and do it all the way we’d choose. But we can focus on one thing that is most important. Enjoy that with all your hearts.

Chronic comrades find ourselves explaining our choices often. Why we don’t work. Why we can’t try that exercise program. Why we can’t stand for long. You don’t have to give a fully prepared defense in response to every situation. When you have to decline an offer or invitation, often ‘No’ is all you have to say. Explanations are not mandatory.

I love Christmas movies. There’s so many new fun ones out there. But my favourites are the classics. White Christmas. Holiday Inn. Miracle on 34th Street. It’s a Wonderful Life. When I need a break from the chaos around me I will spend time in these heartwarming tales. We chronic comrades know that there are times we just have to rest. This can be terribly annoying when there are so many more fun things out there. And it seems like everyone else is out there enjoying themselves. You are not alone. There are others of us who just need to lay down and watch an old Christmas movie.

When I only eat the foods that don’t bother me, I have a very limited diet. My chronic comrades will understand. It can feel like we are missing out on comfort foods especially at this time of year. Find other things that bring you comfort. Like cozy sweaters! Or fuzzy blankets. Or the perfect smelling candle or diffuser blend. Or forest therapy! There are many things that can bring us comfort. Find yours.

This life presents us with different seasons of life. We can accept them and find peace or fight against them and find struggle. For my chronic comrades this is a season of rest. Not your season to impress. Your home and meal should look different from others’. So don’t compare to those in a different season. Use some of your movement time to get outside and breathe some fresh air for your forest therapy. But be careful in Saskatoon, I fell on the ice and now I am Humpty Dumpty. Waiting for someone to put me together again.

Music sets a mood. What mood do you want for your day? I have multiple Christmas playlists. A joyful Christmas. A playful Christmas. A traditional Christmas. Don’t say you aren’t a Christmas music person until you have tried more than Mariah and Justin. When you take time out to rest chronic comrades, put on something relaxing. It will help to settle any upset nerves. Enjoy your down time. Don’t sit there worrying about what isn’t getting done. I’ll share with you my favourite mantra for when things are going sideways. {{maybe things are going perfectly}} Maybe it doesn’t matter if we forgot to make the mashed potatoes. Or if the dog gets into the turkey. Or dinner is going to be two hours late. Sit down, choose some calming music and breathe.

Sing it with me and the gospel choir. Just go lie down. When your body needs something, listen to it. Take care of your body and it will take care of you. It’s like preparing for a marathon if you have multiple gatherings. Stay hydrated. Make sure and be well rested. Eat nourishing foods. And when your body says it’s time to stop. Listen! I think of big family dinners with my Grandma McDonald. She knew how to do it all. Perhaps it’s just my young mind not remembering correctly but I recall Grandma enjoying it all. She never sat down until it was all over and cleaned up. And she still had energy left to watch a show or sing a song. I would love to be the woman who can do it all. And still have energy left over. But I am not. So as a reminder to me and my chronic comrades. Just go lie down when your body needs that.

I love the image of a perfectly clean living room with only the tree to light it on Christmas morning. All the gifts under the tree would be perfectly wrapped. The meal on standby. Way too many treats and the baking that I will finally allow my family to start eating. Family preparing to spend the day together for fun and visiting. This will not all be my reality this year. But there will be another reality that will be perfect for me. IF I choose to see it that way. If you also love all the parts of that Christmas morning image, choose one or two parts you can manage. Do not wear yourself out trying to do it all. My chronic comrades, I hope you have loving people around you. They would rather have you in one piece than a clean house and perfectly crafted meal. Take time for what heals you so you can take care of others.

Choose your time out and about wisely my chronic comrades. I give you permission to pick the most important and leave out the rest. Attend the gatherings that lift you up. You have enough that drags you down. Spend time with your most uplifting friends. Maybe you can get a group together for some forest therapy to deal with the stress of the holidays.

I have never been good at hugging. I didn’t think it was in my DNA. Brent says I hug like a tree. But I am learning how important it is to hug the ones we love. There is something about getting heart to heart that promotes a deeper love and compassion. My chronic comrades, let’s thrive through this Christmas season. Take some time to get heart to heart with the ones who lift you up. Step outside for some forest therapy. Even if it’s just for a moment in the middle of a gathering, breathe the crisp air.

Spoonies. When you know, you know. Forest therapy can help my chronic comrades. If you’d like to learn more about what it means to be a spoonie. Or how to use forest therapy check out my other posts.

Merry Christmas and take care, my friends!

The Spoon Theory Explained: Managing Energy Wisely

November 19, 2024 pammunkholm

The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event. You go to bed in one kind of world and wake up in another quite different, and if this is not enchantment, then where is it to be found?

-JB Priestly

We are not all so thrilled to see the snow falling today in our area. But I realized something important. When I looked at my grandson’s eyes, so big and shiny as he looked out the window. Pointing and gasping as though we put it there just for him. There is a way to see this new world as magical and beautiful.

Even for those of us who are suffering as the weather shifts. I mentioned the spoon theory in an earlier post. I want to go back over the basics of it as we commence today’s post.

The spoon theory is an analogy. People with chronic illness often use it to explain how their daily energy is limited. Spoons in this analogy represent units of energy. We have a finite number of spoons for each day. We must carefully choose where spoons are ‘spent’. This requires effort. Even the smallest daily tasks can consume a lot of your day’s energy. Tasks like preparing and eating food or attending an event are examples. The need to thoughtfully consider how we manage this is great.

For those who do not suffer in this way, the following infographic will prove most beneficial.

Something that I will acknowledge takes multiple spoons is showering. I share with you my guide:

How to Shower as a Spoonie

gather your supplies and your resolve, we can do this
start shower, warm, but not too warm, but definitely not too cold, that would be disastrous
enter shower, step carefully, we don’t need any new damage
use shampoo (the right one, nobody knows which one that is, but definitely don’t use something that has chemicals, newsflash, they all do)
when rinsing out the shampoo you will likely need to sit down and rest for a time, perhaps have a snooze
get back up, God speed, all of the blood will now be rapidly drained from your brain to your lower extremities leaving you sluggish and dizzy
apply conditioner as you simultaneously embrace the shower wall for support
briefly consider just calling this good
rally 👏👏👏
apply soap to areas easy to reach and just let it slide to the parts you can’t
while leaning ever more excessively on the wall rinse what conditioner you can
exit shower and haphazardly dry off
feel rotten and go to bed with your wet towel
cancel the plans you had because now you have been rendered useless
see? we’ve done it! without a hitch. beautifully executed

Have you ever gotten to the end of your spoons before you got to the end of your day? I often have. What is to be done in such a case? Can you restock your spoon supply? Sometimes the answer is no and the best thing to do is to go to bed and try again tomorrow. And that’s okay!

At times I am getting to the end of my spoons and I can see the day stretching out. I have found a few things that help to restock SOME of my spoons. Or at least it is helping me use what spoons I have left wisely.

Restocking your Spoons

Turning off and tuning out has been a life saver. I put my phone on airplane mode and I will go to a dark and quiet space. I can breathe deep, meditate and just BE without all the distractions.

Comforting food or drink. We have to be careful when choosing foods. I suggest finding one to have on hand for emergencies. Or maybe you are a tea person. A tea break is a great way to slow down.

At times exercise is the right call; though only to the degree that your body will allow. Maybe a stretch is right for some people?

There is nothing wrong with a nap. If that is what your body needs to regenerate then nap away. No shame!

And then there’s my favorite. A bath. I love the soothing warmth and having my body suspended where I don’t have to hold it together.

If you wonder why you are so tired, why we start each day with so few spoons. Consider the fact that our sleep is not the same quality and effectiveness as those without chronic illness. It’s unfortunate but true.

Recognize your limits. Pay attention to them. There is always much to do in a day but make sure you don’t end up like this Little Miss.

Pace yourself. Rest. Take breaks. We have to practice being still. And feeling okay with being still. Often it goes against ever part of our being. But maybe this is how we survive.

And on the days we are not okay?

You are worthy of so many things. Your illness and the limitations it causes do not minimize your worth. At all. And yet. A word of warning, the battle raging in your body is helping you become the person you are becoming. For better or for worse. Choose to make it for the better.

My symptoms have been varied and particularly pesky this month, this year. I am inspired by this Latin phrase. alis volat propriis. Translation: ‘she flies with her own wings’. We feel weak but we are truly strong. We often need to figure things out in our own way and timing. We fall. But still we rise.

To close, I’d like to give our non-spoonie readers another guide. This guide will help you support any of your spoonie friends and family.

Spoonie Translator

In response to “how are you?” we say, “fine thanks!”

This is not even remotely true, don’t trust us.

Translation: I am just barely holding things together but I like to try to blend in

When we say I have a doctor’s appointment coming up

Sounds like a bit of factual information, no big deal

In reality we are worried about it and might need support during &/or after

I wish I were able to work

And you think, “sure but isn’t it nice to stay home all day?”

We really would rather work, join the rest of the world, and make our mark, plus income is always nice

I am tired

“Me too” sounds like a reasonable response but that would be comparing apples and chronic fatigue

Translation: I need to quit now. I probably should have quit a while ago.

I wish I didn’t have… fill in the blank

Do you sometimes think, why do you have to talk about it so much?

Translation: I am devastated by the physical, mental, emotional, financial, employment, etc. changes my illness has brought.

Actual footage of me holding things together

Sometimes we just need to laugh. It’s a good coping mechanism. I hope I have brought a brightness and laugh to your day. Maybe a connection where you think, me too! Let me know in the comments.

How wonderful it is that we laugh because our bodies cannot contain the joy.

-unknown

If you’re enjoying the blog, hit subscribe so you never miss a post. I’d love if you’d share this post with anyone you think it would help. Take care my friends.

Living with ME/CFS: A Journey Through Chronic Fatigue

November 5, 2024November 5, 2024 pammunkholm

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me because I, too, am fluent in silence. – R. Arnold

What is your toxic trait? I have many. One of mine is pushing through when my body is exhausted and needs to stop.

{MYALGIC ENCEPHALOMYELITIS}

I was diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/ Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS). Mya what?!? I like this infographic for breaking it down. It is so much more than being tired!

At the time of my diagnosis I wasn’t suffering many of the symptoms. It wasn’t my first concern. I was just trying to get my floppy joints to hold still. ME didn’t seem like a big deal. So what if I’d be tired. I just wanted the pain to stop.

But now, years later, I can see what ME has done and is doing to my body. Pushing through is never the right answer with ME/CFS. And having it?… actually is a big deal. I need to be aware of how it affects my body and what I can do to manage the symptoms.

If you’d like to know what it’s like to have ME/CFS follow these 6 simple steps:

First you’ll need to fast for 24 hours
Also stay awake for those 24 hours
Every time you stand up, spin around 5 times really fast
Throw yourself down the stairs 5 times in a row
Run 10 miles
And continue to try to live a normal life
this list is brought to you by sunshineandspoons.com

Accurate!

{SYMPTOMS}

The actual list of ME/CFS symptoms includes post exertional malaise. It seems obvious. You get tired after you perform an activity. Everybody gets that. But with ME there is a disproportionate amount of exhaustion for the type and length of activity. For example, showering is so tiring.

What is it? Arms up? Standing in one spot? I don’t know for sure but I need to rest after a shower. Sometimes in the middle of a shower.

Next on my list of symptoms is muscle pain and weakness. I need to exercise to keep my muscles strong enough to hold me together. When we leave the gym I have so much muscle weakness. I have trouble getting to the car without willing my body to keep moving. I’m daily tempted to ask my hubby for a piggyback. I feel the lactic acid running through my veins. Like I just ran a marathon and then sat down for a half hour. Then stood up and tried to walk. Can you feel the Oof?

And my favourite (and most embarrassing) symptom. Cognitive impairment. Brain fog. Oh the brain fog!

This is my life now. Anyone I have had a conversation with in the past couple of years can verify.

The list goes on. Sleep problems. Hypersensitivity to light and stimuli. Flu like symptoms, it has been compared to feeling poisoned. Shortness of breath. Difficulty swallowing and chewing. Sweating. Dizziness. Muscle pain, twitching and uncontrollable spasms. Poor tolerance for hot and cold. Visual disturbances (waves or blurred vision). Inconsistent central nervous system operation. Word finding difficulty. Disjointed speech. Difficulty comprehending text. Difficulty with processing and concentration. Feet burning. Poor digestion. I only list here the symptoms I have experienced. The list goes on for others who suffer ME. As I reread this list, it sounds like the side effects of a drug that’s not worth taking!

Just like so many syndromes in our world the severity of ME each person experiences is on a spectrum. Some people need to spend their lives in bed. Often separated from life to handle the pain that accompanies ME caused by any exertion. My heart goes out to those who suffer in such a way.

I was there.

{{MY STORY}}

In 2020 I hit a breaking point. But not for the same reason many other people did.

My body would no longer work the way it always had. Pushing through wasn’t a viable option. The wall of exhaustion was sudden and extreme. It was physical, mental and emotional. I had to go to bed and I didn’t know when I’d be strong enough to leave it again.

No 20 minute nap was going to fix this.

I had to stop working. I eventually (tearfully) decided to close my business. I couldn’t make my own meals. I didn’t want to eat anything anyway. I didn’t feel like sleeping but I was SO TIRED. My brain was spinning and all my nerves were ready to zap if not treated with the utmost respect.

Most heart wrenching of all. I had to leave my family. I had to go where it was quiet and still. There is nothing quiet and still about three teenage/ young adult sons and a farm to run.

I needed to be warm. And hushed. I needed to focus on me. Just me.

It. Took. Months. Of being still.

More months of learning to slowly start life again. And then starting over again but with boundaries.

More months of realizing this is my life now. I had expected to put my life on pause for a short time. And to pick up where I left off as soon as I was “better”. But you can’t live on pause. And there was no “better” forthcoming.

Not everyone who suffers ME will experience the same results as my story. Even if they do exactly what I did, outcomes differ. You can do everything right and still suffer the symptoms. I managed to break free from chronic fatigue’s strangle hold. By no small miracle.

During those first months my brain just wanted to stop but I had so many daily worries. I couldn’t handle the thought of letting them go. And there was nothing to physically be done in my state to take care of them.

So my mom would come into my room at her house. She would sit at the end of my bed and write all of my worries down.

She’d help me sort out what needed to be taken care of and who should do it.

Over time I started physically building myself back up so I would be strong enough to go home. I’d walk around my parents house for a minute. Then two. Then three. Everything had to be such a slow build. Or I’d start from square one again.

I couldn’t handle any stress. Try avoiding that in this day and age! It was and is an ongoing battle to recognize and alleviate those triggers.

This all seems a lifetime ago. Today I live an almost normal life. Normal for me I should say. I still can’t work. I have to pay attention to how I am feeling at all times. I need to make sure I am not overdoing anything. I listen to my intuition when I take things on or when I choose to politely decline. Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I have to go to bed.

{OVERCOME}

I don’t like being known as the woman who is always exhausted. Pushing through and setting off flares in my body. I don’t want to be remembered for just barely holding it together.

I want to be remembered as joyful and relaxed. When I rest I can let it restore me not frustrate me. I want to be remembered for loving fiercely and for being a woman who knows her worth and her strength including her limitations. Living in the mess and magic of this life. I don’t want to take things too seriously!

What can you do if you suffer some of the same symptoms? What are the treatment options? Doctors will tell you there is nothing they can do. While this might be true, there is plenty that you can do.

{TREATMENT}

Forest bathing is my number one recommendation. Get into nature and find comfort and healing in its embrace. As the days get colder just add more layers. If you need help to get the greatest benefits out of the forest head over to my contacts page. We can go together and I can show you how.

Do not find yourself guilty of my toxic trait. Do not push through. Just keep swimming is not always the right advice especially not for chronic pain sufferers. Just keep swimming till you have a flare. Just keep swimming till you are in so much pain you can hardly move. Just keep swimming will put you in bed. Your best option might be to just stop swimming and respect your limitations. And take care of yourself accordingly.

Here are some other things you can do to treat ME/CFS. Each of the ideas will put a drop in your bucket. The infographic mentions Fibromyalgia too. It is very common to have more than one chronic disease to manage. It is not like Pokemon. You definitely don’t want to catch them all.

Do not let your bucket run dry! Keep a daily schedule to stay on top of these treatments and ways of life.

Other treatments include pharmacological (for sleep, for twitches and spasms, for depression that often accompanies chronic illness, muscle relaxants (not me, my muscles are stretchy enough on their own), or medical marijuana for pain).

More treatments for pain include massage, physiotherapy, chiropractor, meditation and relaxation, heat and cold packs.

Sleep. Set up a soothing bedtime routine and stick to a regular sleep schedule. I am working on practicing what I preach in this area.

Other useful tools: Add salt to your water for extra hydration. Compression socks. Breathwork. Clean diet. Memory aids. Ear plugs and eye masks. Ask what your body needs and follow its answers.

{TO THOSE WHO SUFFER}

I end with this justifying quote for all those who suffer from ME/CFS. Dr. Clare Taylor said,

I maintain the sickest patients I have looked after are ME patients. They suffer. Every single day. For years. And get told to try harder. One day it will be accepted for what it is.

I don’t know this doctor. But here, here! Vindication for all who suffer.

If this sounds familiar to you, and you want to discuss more than what I cover on the blog, reach out to me on my contacts page. Tell me your story. There is healing in just that.

And she stopped… and she heard what the trees said to her, and she sat there for hours not wanting to leave. For the forest said nothing, it just let her breathe. -Becky Hemsley

Overcoming Obstacles: Life Lessons from Watching a 2-Year-Old

August 20, 2024 pammunkholm

My two year old grandson was happily playing in the yard. I was happily watching him. I love to see how his little mind works. And in this particular instance I got to see a bit of myself in him as he struggled.

He has a little cart that he pushes around. He was attempting to go around the patio table. In his way were the bags of bottles that I should have been returning to the depot instead of watching him play. It is so much easier to ignore the chores as ‘the grandma’ than it was as ‘the mom’.

At first he was frustrated but I sat back to see what he would figure out. He wandered away and then started moving the bags of recycling from one spot that was in his way to another spot that would be immediately next in his way. Of course his little 2yo brain couldn’t see this the way I could.

He was so calm and focused on the task at hand. I sat back to see how he would handle the upcoming challenge.

It was time. His little plan had been executed flawlessly. Now he was going back to attempt to push his cart through again. He was so happy. He got past where his path had previously been obstructed. Only to immediately be blocked. He saw his error. Panic ensued. His hands flew to his face and he stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at me with dismay in his eyes.

Of course I flew to his aid. We worked to put the bags in a better spot until the time Grandma stops playing and gets to the bottle depot. He grabbed his cart and around he went.

How often do we try something and when it doesn’t work the way we expect we panic and stop trying? I have been guilty of this useless response many a time. My little grandson is still figuring things out. I don’t judge him for his response. But I saw so much of myself in it that I have been thinking about it since.

I have a good idea. It doesn’t go as planned. I panic. I stop. I give up.

Good ideas are the way to start. Planning to watch it fall apart might also be the process going perfectly. It is over this period that you get to see what is working and what isn’t.

I applied this to my perceived progress as a human being. I am always trying to improve but when it doesn’t go as planned I often feel a surge of stress leaving me in a bundle of singed nerves. The improving is timely and correct. The not going as planned is timely and correct. The only thing going wrong that I have control over is that surge of stress. I can control the surge by controlling my thoughts around my circumstances.

Maybe this is how the sequence should go. Attempt one. Utter and abrupt failure. Thoughts. ‘Well that didn’t go well’. ‘Maybe I should adjust.’ Attempt two. Less abrupt but still utter failure. Thoughts. ‘I have learned how to avoid some of the pitfalls. What do I still have to learn?’ And so on. The wording may seem elementary but it gets me pointed in a different direction.

Dr Daniel Gilbert said, “Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished. The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you’ve ever been.”

I am trying to remember in my moments of panic. When I realize I have done something wrong/ stupid/ careless, that this is part of the human experience. And it is passing and fleeting. And EVERYBODY gets things wrong at times. We are all disasters trying to look like we have it all together.

If you can see the humor in your error, even better! But all in good time, the subtle art of laughing at one’s self is taking it to the next level.

Some of your efforts are going to tank. And that, my dear friends, is actually things going perfectly. Make adjustments. Try again.

So much of my time growing up was spent worrying that I was doing things “wrong” and that someone might see. Much of my young adult life was spent hoping nobody would notice I had no idea how to be a mom. I have spent so much of my time in chronic pain thinking I must be doing it “wrong” because I’m not getting better. I can’t get to a plateau of healthy like everyone else.

I just kept feeling wrong!

Until I found healing in the forest. This, I know how to do intuitively.

“For beauty give me trees with the fir on” -Henry David Thorough

Being in the forest increases feelings of awe, wonder and gratitude. In the forest we can relax the overworked brain and just be. There is no wrong here. The only thing that has to be done is to take your next breath. And unwind. Soften. You can let go here, the forest has your back.

When things in life go awry, take a moment, and when you are ready, make the next plan, schedule the next attempt, put yourself back into the arena regardless of the possible flop.

And remember to have fun with it!

I absolutely agree with Sarah Ivens who says in her book Forest Therapy, “We need to be reminded of just how good puddle jumping and mud cake baking, tree climbing, squirrel chasing, blossom breathing, and forest foraging feel. Because nature really is the best medicine.”

Playing in the forest can prepare you to integrate play into your day. This can open your brain to overcoming the challenges you face. And when you see it as play, the challenge is more of a dare. I double dog dare you to spend time playing in nature this week. See if it helps your daily living.

If you need help finding ways to use the forest as your friend and guide, reach out to me on my contacts page.

The obstacles you face will always have an answer. It just might not be resolved at your first undertaking. Keep trying and take care out there.

Immerse in Forest Therapy: A Slow-Paced Journey for Healing and Rejuvenation

July 30, 2024 pammunkholm

A forest therapy walk should never have a set plan or direction. It is like improv or playtime. The pace should be slow and the distance covered is not the name of the game. Nor is physical fitness. As the picture states, allow your soul to lead the way, Don’t rush. Give yourself space and time. At least a couple of hours to fully immerse in the experience.

Turn off your music. If you are able, put your phone on airplane mode to cut down on distractions. This is your time to be quiet and to begin to notice the world around you. Call attention to the experience of your body. Quiet the talk in your head by turning up the volume on what your soul is saying.

Awaken your senses. Smell the grasses. See the clouds and their motion. Lightly caress the sides of a leaf. Listen for the wind and the sounds it produces. Taste a berry! And what about your other senses. I just learned about proprioception. If you close your eyes and move your arm, you can still sense where it is in space. What do you sense in the world around you when you close your eyes? .

Next find a spot to sit and be still. Remove your shoes and socks. Get your feet into the earth. Take this time to consider how you are realigning to the natural world. We are re wilding ourselves from the inside out and the outside in. Listen. Not with your ears, but intuitively. What is your purpose? The earth is calling out to you. What is it saying? Get in touch with wonder. With healing. Our bodies are capable of rejuvenation. But to do so they must be in a balanced state. What will bring you to a balanced state?

Consider this space sacred. The rocks. The trees. The leaves. Even the bugs. The corresponding colour of the heart chakra is green. This is a space where your heart can feel calm enough to open more. Notice and encourage this opening. Find there a portal into true understanding and love for one another. And that truly is sacred.

Did you know the sounds that put people most at ease can all be found in the forest? Birdsong. Trees moving in the breeze. And water running in natural streams. The pace of our modern world and the associated stressors and triggers require a space for quiet and peace. Many people go through life with flickering or weak health. The daily pain we experience that is not a concern to doctors. So much of this can be resolved with a weekly or even monthly appointment with yourself in the forest. If you struggle to make the plans and go yourself, reach out and we can book a one on one or group forest walk. Go to my contacts page to inquire about booking.

Reciprocity. How does this apply to the forest? Reciprocity can be defined as a mutual exchange of privileges. What privilege do you gain in time in the forest? What can you offer in return? Some people make tea and drink a bit then pour out the rest as an offering back to the forest. Others might offer a song or a poem. Notice what you are noticing in the woods and recognize that it is an offering from the earth. Everyone has something to offer in return. Just find what is right for you.

I am noticing… I am feeling… I am thinking… Finish these and other thoughts. Some thoughts come and go like a leaf on the stream. That’s ok. But grab hold of some of your thoughts and give them your attention to completely notice and think and feel. Your heart and mind will come to a deeper knowing.

Reach for the light on your journey. There is so much awaiting your arrival.

What did you find as you went down into the woods today?

Arise: Embracing Nature’s Rhythms and Finding Strength in Everyday Challenges

July 16, 2024 pammunkholm

Albert Einstein said, “Look deep into nature and then you will understand everything better.”

Where do you find beauty and comfort? I’m beginning to understand that it is everywhere. In everything. Or it can be. I went on a run the other day. It was a windy yet warm and sunshine-y day. The long wild grasses were bending in a zig zag wave through the field. Their colours catching the sun and making me think of my younger days acting out Little House on the Prairie.

I passed a farm and smelled the familiar aroma of diesel. That scent may not tingle the senses for everyone but for me that was the smell of Dad getting home from the field. Even after he washed up for supper. It seemed to my young nose that washing up only seemed to enhance the smell. It was the scent of riding in ‘the farm truck’, you don’t dare take that one to town. But for bumping along through the field to where the tractor needed refueling it was dandy.

That smell of diesel meant riding in and driving the trucks and tractors over years of my life. While that smell may signal different things for different people I choose to focus on that time my dad and I took the Diesel to the family farm from our place in town. I remember feeling pretty important to be invited on this excursion. There was a container of candies that had melted together. I don’t know how long they’d lived in the cab of that truck, but I didn’t care. I was with my dad. It was just a passing whiff of farm diesel but it brought up a lot of good memories.

As I continued along my route I kept noticing things to which I never would have paid any attention before forest therapy. This wasn’t a forest walk but anytime I am in nature I am noticing a difference in me. I saw a bird playing on the wind. An antelope in the field that just stared at me as I passed. I did not stop to ask if this is where the deer and the antelope play.

Next a graveyard. Fun! Again some people would think, what an unfortunate damper on my run. I chose to feel open to any good feelings as I went by this resting place. I didn’t sense danger or sadness. Only light. I thought what a lovely place for those that are laid here. And more so for those that can come to visit their dearly departed.

Next a sign to slooooow doooown. Most days those Max 30 signs drive me bonkers when I’m in a hurry. But a slow sign is often a good reminder to take stock. How am I doing? Are there any improvements I can make? What can I offer the world during this season of my life that will lift and inspire? Only when we slow down from our focused zip zip zip of the day. Do we see the way things really are.

To most this will look like an ugly car surrounded by weeds. That’s because it is. But what it means to me and a special someone of 25 years is a treasure of delightful memories. This is the car my hubby and I drove away from the farm directly after we were married. My uncle drove it all the way from Edmonton so I could have it as our getaway car. It means feeling loved. As we drove away Brent couldn’t believe we had done it. Years of dating and months of planning and now the deed was done. We were hitched. I, on the other hand was busy trying to figure out how to keep my dress clean and my wedding hair under control in a convertible on a gravel road. It was perfectly imperfect and I love that memory. That ugly old car in the weeds means wild reminiscing.

This next part was stinky. To me it smells like manure. But it is actually the remains of the grain elevator that burned down over the winter. It is hard to look at what is left of something that once stood proudly amid the prairie grass. But a promise that good things can rise out of something that initially looks devastating came to mind. Beauty for ashes.

In some ways my life seems to be a pile of stinky remains today. But it is also beautiful and happy and phenomenal. This frame of mind is not something that has come easily to me. It has taken effort to retrain my brain out of its default settings that go to disgust and negativity and frustration. Instead I make a conscious effort to go to curiosity. Curiosity keeps me open to the benefit of the doubt. It gives me an opportunity to find the humour in any situation or to recognize and choose joy.

I have a new granddaughter. She is such a blessing in our lives. She is a ray of sunshine just like her big brother. When I am in their presence my life is brighter.

For those not blessed with grandchildren in their home to brighten their day, you can also find that light in the forest. In the book, The Healing Magic of Forest Bathing, author Julia Plevin says, as we begin to forest bathe we begin to understand how to communicate with trees and plants. We gain the ability to interpret a slight breeze or a bird’s call. We fall deeply in love with the earth. The more we tap into mother nature’s rhythms the more we understand that she wants to help us evolve and live with a higher purpose. All we have to do is learn how to listen.

Does that sounds a little too clairvoyant for some? What if you compared it to being in tune to the needs of a newborn who has no way to communicate other than crying? We learn to communicate in different ways. We interpret through signals. The more we tap into her rhythms the more we understand her higher purpose. All we need do is listen.

We are evolved to find relaxation and restoration in nature. There are so many stimuli and stressors in our day, taking time to enter resting mode has become all but obsolete. When life seems like too much to handle, remember that nature is supporting you. Even when it seems the opposite is true. When it seems that the world is against you and you’re between a rock and a hard place, connect to nature and feel that strength you have inside helping you to arise.

That is my word of the year. Arise. I see the many ways I can apply it and you likely have areas of life that would benefit from your ability to arise. How can you arise in your sphere? I’d love to see in the comments.

Here are some ways I can arise. I can be the bigger person when someone is being harsh and just let it go. I can keep exercising through pain and setbacks. I can offer what I have to others even when it seems so simple and small. I can keep doing my best when it seems the odds are stacked against me.

Look for beauty in the ordinary today. Notice the tone and rhythm of nature and find strength in it. Find what feeds you in your home and in the forest. Connect to nature and when you find what’s available, arise my friends and share it with others.

Discover Earth’s Healing Energy: The Science Behind Grounding for Pain and Well-being

July 9, 2024 pammunkholm

Come forth into the light of things. Let nature be your teacher. – William Woodsworth

I am sitting in a room where the sunlight hits just right at every time of day. I can smell the fresh air and I hear so many different song birds, I feel like Cinderella waking up to their melody. I can hear the wind blowing in the trees. I see the green out the window and the shadow as evidence of their dance on my wall.

I am a ten minute drive from the lake. This, my friends, is my happy place.

It gets happier as the summer goes on and more people move into this space. The weather heats up and slowly warms up this massive lake. Or at least the top couple feet of it. You get really good at swimming in that top few feet when its bone chilling cold under that line.

The boats go in and the air starts to smell of sunscreen. I love that every lake person has a story. Around “their” lake. This is “my” lake. I grew up here.

I remember being in the lake in wind and grey skies taking swimming lessons and shivering/ convulsing as I stood on the dock. My cute little ponytail being whipped around by the wind. But, by golly, we were gonna get those swimming badges.

I remember getting scolded along with all the cousins for bringing all the sand from the beach back to my grandma’s cabin, a short run away from our summer playground. So close that our feet didn’t have time to dry and sand to fall off before we burst into the door. The smell of supper following us in off the bbq.

I remember watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks when it was rainy outside.

I remember my dad and grandpa out in the wind and rain with huge grins on their faces as the sailboat leaned so far over that I could look across the table down below and see only water rushing by through the little windows that should be showing horizon. My mom remembers my sister and I sliding off our seats and under the table when we were small. Meanwhile the men acted as though all was well in hand.

My first handholding was at the lake. My first kiss was at the lake. (I don’t want to talk about it)

My grandpa built that cabin and it still stands today although it’s not in the family anymore. But my parents bought a place by the same lake. I like this family tradition.

I am going through a personal matter that is incredibly difficult. I have been blessed by nature and knowing how to draw out those properties that will calm my heart, my soul and my inflammation.

I heard about a group of ladies in their 80s or so. This generation did NOT go out of the house barefoot. It was the time of rusty nails and no tetanus shots. Not to mention the whole being proper at all cost logic.

These ladies recently learned how grounding works. They shed the socks and shoes and braved their own yards in this newfound liberty. Imagine their surprise when their inflammation in places that hurt for decades, receded or completely disappeared. They want to share this with everyone. This is the wonder of our earth.

There are fascinating accounts of such healing. The Tour de France is by far the most difficult sporting event in the world. Comparable to running three marathons a day for 22 consecutive days. When earthing technology started to be used to get the athletes’ skin in contact with the grounding product at night while they slept, amazing results were reported. Physicians said participants woke feeling rested every morning and there was less stress on their body. They experienced less pain, more energy, and faster, stunning recovery from wounds.

If it works for recovery and healing advantages for elite cyclists performing in the Tour de France, I decided to trust the science and the personal experiences shared by so many. Now I can be one of those many voices highly recommending it for everyone who has pain or stress on their body. So everyone.

Even ten minutes a day will create changes in your body and in your life. The idea is to connect your bare skin to the earth. Rocks. Sand. Grass. Dirt. All the natural things. Get your feet or hands right in them. Notice how it feels. The grass tickling your toes or the solid grounding feeling of sitting or standing on a rock will bring you in touch with the earth. Think about it. How often do you make contact with the earth?

I’m going to take a stab at explaining the science behind this practice. Though I am far from an expert on the subject.

Our bodies are conductive. This means that electricity is passing through our body at all times. As it does, some of the charge remains. This is happening as you go about your day. It is not something we are taught how to sense. The charge remaining is positive. This is not a good thing. We don’t want this lingering positive electrical charge. Especially when chronic conditions and pain are involved. Experts are starting to think this is where inflammation or exacerbating inflammation occurs.

When thinking of the many stresses of our day. How much more can your body handle? Enter the majestic camel and his final piece of straw.

The earth is full of negatively charged electrons. When your skin is in contact with the earth, those electrons attach to our positively charged cells to take them from what can be referred to as ‘free radicals’ and transforms them to happy, healthy, neutralized cells. Too many of these free radicals can cause all kinds of problems. But when the body is able to ground, inflammation has been shown to be reduced in scientific studies. You don’t have to take my senior ladies’ group word for it.

Just follow their lead and shed the socks and shoes. Lay on the ground, on a mat made of natural material. I have a straw mat from the dollar store. Or get in a natural body of water. Get your feet in the dirt of your garden. Whatever you can do.

Now that I know what to watch for, I feel a whoosh of energy when I stand on something that allows me to ground. But when you are starting out the energy shift may be subtle. I encourage you to track your mood before and after a grounding session. Do you notice a difference? How long did it take, of grounding regularly before you noticed it?

I invite you to join me on the grass. Sit. Stand. Lay down. And breathe. Or join me on a forest therapy walk where I can guide you to all the benefits of the forest.

Come forth into the light and let nature be your teacher. Take care my friends.

Menopause Uncovered: Taboos Broken and Symptoms Revealed

June 11, 2024 pammunkholm

I was going to label this as a women’s post but really guys should know this too. Proceed at your own risk.

What is it with menopause being such a hush- hush topic? We are educated at home and at school about puberty yet when it comes to menopause there is no such help on the topic. Anyone can google or do some research on the subject but do we? And how accurate is the information we are reading?

Despite the fact that I am now postmenopausal, I think? I am clearly far from an expert on the subject. Before my scheduled hysterectomy I figured I knew enough about what would happen from the little bit of girl talk and the way after- school specials made fun of it back in my day. I clearly remember Clair Huxtable on The Cosby Show faking what happens to women by going on in a big ordeal that ended with her head in their fridge freezer to make a point to her family. It seemed to say menopause will make you ridiculous unless you are strong enough to withstand the symptoms everyone goes on about. Or at least that’s what I took from it.

All my husband knew of menopause before my surgery was remembering his grandma pulling the car over and jumping out to tear her sweater off because she suddenly got too warm. It’s a funny family story that still circulates. To be fair I didn’t do much research on the matter either.

Before my complete hysterectomy I looked up the symptoms and side effects and how to try to avoid them. I thought I knew what I was in for. All the symptoms can be laughed off which makes it really dangerous for those that experience them to the extreme.

I had my surgery in May of 2019. Technically I was menopausal for one year following the surgery. But I am five years post surgery and I still have crazy symptoms. So here I am, labelled post when I am still obviously present! I am experiencing hot flashes every half hour. And other symptoms too. Clearly I must have missed a step.

It was one thing to deal with the symptoms I expected. But another to try and explain the ones nobody had heard about.

I talked to my doctor about 6 months after my hysterectomy and told her I still had all the symptoms of a cycle minus the actual period. She assured me it was all in my head. Then she man-splained how when you don’t have ovaries you can’t have a cycle. Now I know I am not the only one who has experienced this symptom. I am not making it up.

Between this brain fog that slows down my processing speed and my age, my eyes needed help with progressive lenses shortly after the surgery. And they are still going downhill quickly. This was not a symptom for which I was prepared. Yet I have read about more than one person who has experienced this decline in prescription during menopause.

Hot flashes. Yes, I’ve heard of those. I’ve heard comedians poke fun. But cold flashes? Nope. That was not in the top ten things to watch for. I mentioned before that I looked forward to warming up since I run cold. But a cold flash for someone that was already cold is terribly uncomfortable. I have to dress up to change rooms in my house if the temperature is at all lower. Followed closely by being too warm in the extra clothes and leaving more mess strewn around the house than my kids did as pre schoolers. And once I get too warm or too cold? Good night Nelly! I can’t get back to normal. Steaming or boiling anything on the stove was out of the question for over a year after the surgery. I still struggle to make a meal because once I start to hot flash I can’t bring it back. I just keep hot flashing until the meal is done and I am a hot mess.

And lastly and the most fun of all…? the emotional roller coaster. I would classify myself as someone who keeps a pretty level head and a cool demeanor in most situations. I had a mean streak as a teenager but I’ve since tamed that beast. I knew that hot flashes would warm me up to put it mildly. But I was not prepared for the rise in frustration and impatience that come with the incredibly warm face and dripping body parts. I relate to this meme, I feel like I’m in a petting zoo and all I wanna do is bite people. Why are there no such words of warning to those who are suffering: Wear breathable clothing! This cannot be stressed enough. Picture being in a rain jacket but you are more soaked on the inside of the jacket than the outside. Brent says when I start to warm up in bed the temperature climbs but even more notably, the humidity rises.

I already mentioned the book I read by Libby Weaver titled, Rushing Women’s Syndrome. I saw another diagnosis with a slightly different definition but the idea is the same. It is called Hurried Sickness. The behavior pattern is caused by a continual rushing and anxiousness and overwhelmingly continued sense of urgency in which a person feels chronically short of time and tends to perform every task faster and gets flustered while encountering any type of delay. That description is spot on for any morning at my house, especially when my kids were younger!

When there is a lack of understanding there is a tendency to feel alone. This non comprehensive list of secret symptoms is only my list. It won’t be the same for everyone. But my list matches with someone’s. And maybe they feel alone too. In evolutionary biology they say a lone monkey is a dead monkey. Instead of feeling alone in whatever you may be facing, share it with others and create a shared nature of suffering. Escape from your own woes by recognizing the suffering of others and reaching out in whatever way fits into your world.

Forest therapy has been the answer for me around my symptoms. When I spend a day outside I rarely notice one hot flash but, I kid you not, a day spent indoors, you will observe me reaching for my fan and taking off my socks and looking for a cold drink (of water) every stinking half hour. For the last five years.

If you want to calm your menopausal or apparently post menopausal symptoms, go to my contact page and book a walk with me to see what forest therapy can do for you.

My request for this week may be awkward at first but can we start to foster an attitude that supports more normalcy and education around menopause the way we do around puberty? Google doesn’t hold all the answers. Every time I googled my chronic pain symptoms I ended up with Lupus, like most of the patients on House. As adults we can’t rely on what Google alone has to say. Or even what a single doctor may tell you. But the combined story of actual women who are willing to share actual experiences.

Tell those who can’t handle a discussion around menopause, You SHHHHHH!!!!!