Tag: menopause

Navigating Emotional Struggles Gracefully: Staying Grounded in the Woods

pammunkholm

This line 👇🏼 from a song deserves to stand alone.

The world is hard on beautiful things.

-“Beautiful Things” by Megan Moroney

When I hear this line, I think about the people I know who have been hurt by the world. It takes not only our emotions for a nosedive.

But also our peace.

Our patience.

Our nervous systems.

Our hope.

Our ability to assume the best instead of the worst.

You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

–Jon Kabat-Zinn

It feels like we’re all moving through life with our shoulders somewhere around our ears. Chronic illness, fear of aging, financial stress, uncertainty, bad news on an endless loop. Some people are simply trying to get through Tuesday with enough energy to make supper 🙋‍♀️ .

It doesn’t take much to tip us over.🐄

A few days ago, mine came in the form of a boat launch.

Anyone who’s spent time around a busy boat launch knows it’s a fascinating social experiment.

An overabundance of strong opinions and egos exists.

There are no rules. Written or unwritten.

Just enough ambiguity transpires, that everyone believes they’re right.

I’ve been launching boats for about fifteen years. I know the rhythm. I stay out of people’s way, wait until my truck is actually in the water before moving, and do my best to keep things safe and efficient.

Apparently one gentleman decided I’d “cut the line.”

Boat launches really do produce fascinating specimens of humanity.

I’ve learned that confidence can be surprisingly unsettling to some people. Especially when it arrives in the form of a woman who knows how to load the boat on the trailer without making a production of it.

It’s funny how a little perceived competition can bring out our inner third-grader.

The equipment may have six-figure price tags, but occasionally the conflict resolution skills still come from recess days gone by.

When I calmly explained why I was waiting where I was. And how the process normally works. He didn’t want an explanation.

He began clapping sarcastically.

The world doesn’t just wear us down through tragedy. Sometimes it does it one sarcastic clap at a time.

–Claire played by Molly Gordon in “The Bear“

As he mocked me it became clear he just wanted an audience.

He got one when a couple of other boaters joined in the jeering.

I wish I could tell you I laughed it off.

Instead, my nervous system hit the panic button.

My cortisol rose faster than I can launch my boat. (I’m a pro at both.)

My heart raced. My hands shook.

My cortisol packed a lunch and settled in for two to three business days.

Several days later, I could still feel my body replaying the scene.

I think what bothers me most, at this point, is somewhere out there is a misguided soul telling the story of the woman who “cut the line” at the dock.

How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours.

–Wayne Dyer

Maybe you’ve had moments like that.

Perhaps someone says something. Misunderstands you. Treats you unfairly.

And your body reacts long after the event is over.

For those of us living with chronic illness or chronic stress, these moments don’t simply sting.

They cost us.

That’s why a line from a recent episode of the Untangle podcast kept coming back to me.

In “Quiet Strength and Equanimity: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World,” Margaret Cullen explores how we stay peaceful in a world that often seems determined to take our peace away.

One story she shares has stayed with me.

A man is rowing through thick fog when he notices another boat heading directly toward him.

The other boat is bigger. He should have the right of way.

He shouts. No response.

He waves. Nothing.

The other boat keeps coming.

His frustration turns to anger.

“Move!”

Just before the collision, he swerves.

As the fog clears, he realizes…

The boat is empty. No one was steering.

Instantly, his anger disappears.

Who was he angry with?

No one.

Since first hearing that story, I’ve asked myself this question.

Is the boat empty?

Not literally.

But is this personal?

Or am I assigning intention where there may be none?

Maybe they’re exhausted. Grieving. Terrified.

Maybe they simply don’t know any better.

Or maybe they’re carrying hurts I can’t see.

None of those possibilities excuse poor behaviour.

But they completely change where I direct my emotional energy.

Sometimes, seeing clearly dissolves the anger.

Pronoia

The opposite of paranoia. it is the belief that people or the world are secretly working in your favour. That events, people and circumstaces are somehow conspiring to help you.

That’s different from stuffing feelings down or pretending they don’t exist.

You can’t bypass emotions.

You can’t slap a positive quote over a nervous system that’s sounding the alarm.

But sometimes the alarm quiets on its own because you suddenly realize…

There isn’t actually an enemy here.

Just another imperfect human.

When the boat is empty, compassion often becomes easier than combat.

Margaret Cullen also offers another perspective I love.

Ask yourself:

How will this feel next week? Next month? Next year?

It’s amazing how many mountains quietly shrink into molehills when viewed from a little distance.

Then she takes it even further.

She talks about astronauts experiencing the Overview Effect. Seeing Earth from space and returning with an entirely different understanding of what matters.

Imagine grandmother’s wisdom. Now multiply it by the view from orbit.

Our arguments. Our bruised egos. Our need to be right.

They suddenly become very small compared with this astonishing little blue planet we’re all sharing.

That doesn’t make our feelings unimportant.

It simply gives them context.

Another surprisingly effective tool?

Humour. Humour interrupts the story we’re telling ourselves.

We’ve all done it.

We become convinced we’ve been wronged in the most spectacular fashion imaginable.

Our spouse is over there admiring a duck while we have mentally drafted the closing argument for a trial that nobody else even knows is happening.

Sometimes all it takes is one ridiculous observation from them to break the spell.

I wish I could say I found “the funny” at the boat launch.

I wasn’t there yet.

Maybe next time.

One tool that has helped me far more consistently is asking:

Am I living this moment according to my values?

Not theirs. Mine.

I can’t control sarcasm.

I can’t control mockery.

I can’t control who decides to clap sarcastically at a stranger.

But I can decide whether I respond with kindness.

Integrity. Respect. Compassion.

Those are mine to keep.

The more our daily lives align with our values, the steadier we become.

Peace stops being something we chase and starts becoming somewhere we live.

The idea of felt safety is something we’ll explore more in the next post.

Felt safety isn’t the absence of fear.

It isn’t the absence of challenge.

It’s your nervous system recognizing that you have enough capacity to face what’s in front of you.

That you are enough.

That you can survive this moment.

Forest therapy has become one of the places where I practice exactly that.

The forest rarely requires me to react in the moment.

It stretches time. It expands perspective.

It reminds me that not everything deserves my nervous system’s full emergency response.

When someone steals my peace…

I take it to the woods.

There, I remember that I’m part of something much older than a rude exchange at a boat launch.

Much bigger than today’s frustration.

And much more beautiful than the story my anxious brain was writing five minutes earlier.

Eventually I remember that peace is a terrible thing to hand over to someone you’ve never met.

A Forest Therapy Invitation

If you’re new here and want to learn more about forest therapy and how it works, check out this page. The Gist

The next time something rattles you, resist the urge to replay it over and over.

Instead, head outside.

Find one tree that catches your attention.

Stand with it for five slow breaths.

Now ask yourself:

  • Is the boat empty?
  • Will this matter next year?
  • What would this look like from space?
  • What response best reflects my values?
  • How can I become the tenderness this moment needs?

Don’t force an answer.

Just notice what changes.

Sometimes the forest doesn’t solve the problem.

It simply reminds us that we are far bigger than it.

Forest therapy doesn’t help me escape the world. It helps me return to it without becoming like it.

Margaret Cullen ends her book Quiet Strength with words I borrow:

May each of us find a way to bring balance and tenderness to this floating world, moment by moment, drop by drop.

I can’t think of a better response to a world that is hard on beautiful things.

Let’s become one of the beautiful things that refuses to grow hard.

The world may be hard on beautiful things. That doesn’t mean beautiful things have to become hard.

Instead…

Let’s become the tenderness.

In a gentle way you can shake the world.

–Mahatma Gandhi

Chronic Willpower: The Cost of Being the Woman Who Always Pushes Through

pammunkholm

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change.

–Carl Rogers

For most of my life, I thought willpower was the answer.

Tired? Push through.

In pain? Push through.

Overwhelmed? Push through.

Running on fumes? Push through harder (and question what my problem is. Everyone else can do it all!)

Our culture practically hands out gold stars for overriding our bodies. We admire grit, determination, hustle, and resilience. We celebrate the people who keep going no matter what.

But what if chronic willpower isn’t a strength?

What if it’s a survival strategy?

And what if the very thing you’ve relied on for decades is now contributing to your exhaustion, burnout, brain fog, chronic symptoms, and sense that your body has become the river overflowing its banks after years of holding everything in?

I am learning that hormones play a major role in mid life. Learn more about hormones and their effects in this past post. Female Hormones: Our Fickle Fairweather Friend

The Problem With “Just Try Harder”

I recently listened to an episode of the  Success Genius podcast⁠ hosted by Neill Williams, a master certified coach. Her podcast focuses on helping ambitious women work with their brains and bodies rather than constantly pushing against them. A message that feels particularly relevant to my own journey with chronic willpower.

Williams suggests willpower is often a withdrawal, not a strategy. It is what we use when we don’t have access to regulation. Instead of listening to the body, we override it. Instead of responding to its signals, we silence them. Instead of resting, we push harder.

At first, this works remarkably well.

You become productive.

Dependable.

Capable.

The person everyone can count on.

The person who somehow manages to keep all the plates spinning.

Until one day the plates start spinning you.

It’s amazing how long you can juggle flaming torches before realizing you are the one on fire.

When Willpower Becomes a Withdrawal

One of the most eye-opening ideas Williams proposes is this:

Willpower is not a strategy. It is a withdrawal.

Using willpower occasionally isn’t a problem.

Life happens. Deadlines happen. Emergencies happen.

Sometimes we need to dig deep and do hard things.

The trouble begins when overriding ourselves becomes our default operating system.

When every day looks like:

“I’m exhausted, but I’ll push through.”

“I’m overwhelmed, but I’ll push through.”

“My body is asking for rest, but I’ll push through.”

A withdrawal isn’t necessarily noticeable at first.

Just like spending a little extra on a credit card doesn’t feel like a crisis.

But eventually the bill arrives.

And like every credit card company, our nervous systems charge interest.

I once heard a doctor describe it this way:

“It starts as a whisper. Then it becomes a shout. Then it becomes a scream. If you keep ignoring it, eventually it shuts you down.”

I suspect many women reading this know exactly what that feels like.

Listen to your body when it whispers so you don’t have to hear it scream.

What Happens Physiologically?

Your nervous system is constantly gathering information about whether you’re safe.

When you repeatedly ignore fatigue, stress, grief, overwhelm, pain, or emotional needs, those signals don’t simply disappear.

They get louder.

The body begins turning up the volume in an attempt to get your attention. What started as mild fatigue becomes crushing exhaustion. A little tension becomes chronic pain. Occasional anxiety becomes a constant background hum.

Symptoms are often the falling leaves, not the falling trees. They’re early signs that something needs attention.

The Physiological Cost of Chronic Willpower

It is not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.

–Hans Selye

We are designed for stress.

Contrary to what social media might have us believe, stress itself is not the enemy.

The stress of giving a presentation.

The stress of learning something new.

The stress of tackling a challenge.

Those are normal.

Healthy even.

The problem is chronic stress without sufficient recovery.

When we continually override our body’s signals and never allow the system to recover, we remain stuck in a state of ongoing activation.

Over time that can contribute to:

  • Elevated cortisol
  • Disrupted sleep
  • Increased emotional reactivity
  • Brain fog and reduced cognitive function
  • Immune system suppression
  • Hormone disruption
  • Burnout
  • Chronic fatigue
  • Increased vulnerability to illness

Many women eventually find themselves working harder than ever and accomplishing less.

Not because they’re lazy.

Not because they’re undisciplined.

Not because they suddenly lost their motivation.

Because their nervous system has been carrying a debt load for years.

I, myself, believed rest was something you earned after finishing everything. Unfortunately, everything is never finished.

Determination Is the Fuel. Regulation Is the Engine.

You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it.

–Albert Einstein

One of the most helpful concepts Williams shared,

Determination is the fuel. Regulation is the engine.

Fuel matters.

But pouring premium gasoline onto a broken engine won’t get you very far.

Many of us have spent years trying to compensate for a dysregulated nervous system by adding more determination.

More discipline. More motivation. More supplements. More planners. More productivity hacks. More caffeine.

At some point the engine needs attention.

Regulation is what allows the nervous system to move between effort and recovery. It is the body’s ability to activate when needed and settle when the challenge has passed. Without regulation, determination eventually becomes expensive fuel burned inefficiently.

Why We Keep Doing It Anyway

Because overriding ourselves works.

At least temporarily.

When we push through exhaustion and finish the project, check off the list, save the day, or meet the deadline, we get a reward.

That reward is often dopamine.

Dopamine isn’t simply the “pleasure chemical.” It’s deeply involved in motivation, anticipation, reward, and learning what behaviors matter. Our brains remember what helped us survive and succeed.

So the pattern becomes:

🏁Ignore body. ➡️ Push harder. ➡️ Get result. ➡️ Receive dopamine hit. ➡️ Repeat. 🔄 😵‍💫 😵

Soon, productivity itself can become a form of self-medication.

The nervous system learns that overriding discomfort equals reward.

No wonder it’s hard to stop.

The Chemical We May Actually Need More Of

While dopamine drives pursuit, serotonin is associated with feelings of contentment, safety, stability, and well-being.

Dopamine is the Labrador chasing the tennis ball.

Serotonin is the golden retriever napping in a sunbeam.

Many chronic willpower users have spent decades chasing the first while starving the second.

We become experts at striving but beginners at simply being.

And that’s where nature has something remarkable to teach us.

The Forest Doesn’t Care About Your To-Do List

One of the reasons forest therapy feels so restorative is that it gently shifts us toward a state of regulation.

No notifications. No deadlines. No performance reviews.

No one asking whether you’ve earned your rest. Whether you’re keeping up. If you’re winning at life or whether your worth is keeping pace with your to-do list. No one asking whether you’ve justified your existence through accomplishment.

The forest would NE-ver. Trees are refreshingly difficult to impress.

And somehow that’s exactly what makes them healing.

In the forest, many people experience what feels like a serotonin bath. 🛁

A quiet sense that everything is okay.

Not perfect. Just okay. Perfectly imperfect.

The more often we experience that state, the more familiar it becomes. Eventually regulation starts feeling less like a vacation and more like home.

A Forest Therapy Practice for Chronic Willpower

If you recognize yourself in this article, try this simple practice.

Step 1: Walk Slowly

Spend 10 to 15 minutes walking without a destination.

Not hiking. Not exercising. Not trying to get your steps.

Simply walk.

Notice colours. Textures. Movement. Bird sounds. Wind. Light.

Whenever your mind starts solving problems, gently return attention to your surroundings.

Step 2: Sit

Find a place to sit for 10 to 20 minutes.

Allow yourself to do absolutely nothing.

No journaling. No podcasts. No meditation app.

Simply sit.

Notice what emerges. At first you may feel restless.

That’s normal.

Many chronic willpower users experience sitting still the same way a Labrador experiences being told not to chase a tennis ball.

Step 3: Listen

Ask yourself:

“What is my body trying to tell me?”

Then resist the urge to answer immediately.

Wait.

The nervous system often speaks in sensations before it speaks in words.

Step 4: Walk Again

Take a slow walk again.

Notice whether anything feels different.

You are not trying to force an answer.

You are creating conditions where answers can arise.

The body always leads us home if we can simply learn to trust sensation and stay with it long enough for it to reveal its wisdom.

–Pat Ogden

Going Upstream

There is a somewhat unsettling, but well-known parable about a group of adults standing beside a river.

Suddenly they see a child floating downstream and jump in to save them.

Then another child appears.

And another.

And another.

Everyone becomes frantically occupied rescuing children.

Finally someone leaves.

“Where are you going? How could you possibly leave at a time like this?” the others shout.

“Upstream,” they reply. “To find out why they’re falling into the river.”

Chronic willpower is often what happens downstream.

Parts of your self are drowning in the river upstream.

Those adults frantically jumping in are your chronic willpower, your nervous system desperately trying to manage the consequences.

But you can go upstream.

You can find the calm your body has been asking for.

You can stop overriding the system long enough to hear what it has been trying to say.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

–Anaïs Nin

My body budget got so far in the red it was basically applying for bankruptcy protection.

Looking back, I wonder how many so-called midlife crises are actually the moment the bill for decades of nervous system debt comes due. The strategies that helped us survive and succeed for years suddenly stop working.

What feels like falling apart may actually be the beginning of a profound transformation. I explored that idea more deeply in Midlife Crisis to Chrysalis.

When you can access a place of peace, something surprising often happens. The answers you’ve been chasing become easier to see. The next step becomes clearer.

Not because you forced it.

Because you finally became quiet enough to hear it.

Sometimes healing isn’t found in pushing harder.

Sometimes it’s found wandering through a lush, green forest, realizing your body wasn’t fighting you all along.

It was actually trying to draw your attention upstream, where the real answers were waiting. Guiding you away from the noise. To a place of stillness. Back to who you were before the push. Your natural self.

Hormone Disruptors: Hidden Toxins That May Be Affecting Your Health

pammunkholm

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you’re living with chronic pain, migraines, fatigue, hormonal changes, or an autoimmune condition, every ounce of energy matters.

So it can be frustrating to discover that many of the products we use every day may be working against us.

The reality is that we live in a world filled with chemicals, pollutants, and environmental stressors. While our bodies are remarkably resilient, they weren’t exactly designed for a daily cocktail of synthetic fragrances, plastics, pesticides, and mystery ingredients with names that sound like they belong in a chemistry textbook.

I recognize that in speaking on this topic, I now resemble a kooky, woo woo spokeswoman for all things unconventional. But stick with me.

If you’ve ever looked at an ingredient label and thought, “I have no idea what any of these words mean, but I’m about to put them directly on my skin,” you’re not alone.

I’ve reached the age where reading labels is apparently one of my hobbies.

Welcome to the wacky world of hormone disruptors.

What Are Hormone Disruptors?

Hormone disruptors, also called endocrine disruptors, are chemicals that interfere with your body’s endocrine system, the network responsible for producing, transporting, and regulating hormones.

Think of hormones as your body’s communication system. They send messages that help regulate everything from sleep and metabolism to mood, reproduction, energy, and immune function.

Hormone disruptors can interfere with those messages by:

  • Mimicking natural hormones
  • Blocking hormone receptors
  • Altering hormone production
  • Affecting how hormones are transported or eliminated

In other words, they’re the equivalent of someone repeatedly hitting “reply all” on emails that were never meant for them.

My hormones wake up everyday and choose unpredictability. They have the organizational structure of a flock of startled geese.

Why Does This Matter?

For years, many people with chronic conditions have been told that their bloodwork is normal, their tests look fine, and everything appears to be functioning as expected.

Meanwhile, they’re exhausted.

They’re in pain.

They’re dealing with migraines, inflammation, brain fog, sleep disturbances, mood changes, or symptoms that don’t fit neatly into a box.

Hormone disruptors aren’t necessarily the cause of these conditions.

But if your body is already managing chronic inflammation, pain, migraines, fatigue, hormonal changes, or autoimmune symptoms, reducing unnecessary stressors may give your system one less thing to deal with.

It’s not a cure.

But every little bit of support matters.

Symptoms That May Be Linked to Hormone Disruption

Hormone disruption can show up in many different ways
Some common symptoms include:

  • Fatigue
  • Brain fog
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Mood changes
  • Anxiety
  • Weight gain or difficulty losing weight
  • Headaches and migraines
  • Skin issues
  • Fertility challenges
  • Irregular menstrual cycles
  • Low libido
  • Increased inflammation

The challenge is that many of these symptoms overlap with chronic illnesses, making hormone disruption difficult to identify.

Which is somewhat rude, if you ask me.

My Experience

When I first started learning about hormone disruptors, I had two reactions.

First:

“Well, that’s concerning.”

Second:

“There is absolutely no way I can afford to replace everything I own, let alone find the time and energy to make everything!” (mentally checks out of this topic)

Thankfully, I’ve since learned that reducing exposure isn’t about perfection.

It’s about making practical choices that support a body that’s already working hard.

Because if the wellness industry had its way, I’d be replacing every item I own by Tuesday. And while I appreciate the enthusiasm, my budget and my sanity have other things to do.

Where Are Hormone Disruptors Hiding?

Unfortunately, they’re not hiding very hard.

Personal Care Products

  • Shampoo
  • Conditioner
  • Hair products
  • Lotions
  • Makeup
  • Perfumes
  • Deodorants
  • Nail polish

Household Products

  • Air fresheners
  • Scented candles
  • Dryer sheets
  • Fabric softeners
  • Cleaning products

Food Storage and Packaging

  • Plastic food containers
  • Plastic water bottles
  • Plastic wrap
  • Certain canned food linings
  • Some non-stick cookware

Environmental Sources

  • Pesticides
  • Herbicides
  • Some furniture treatments
  • Certain stain-resistant coatings

One of the most common concerns is simply the ingredient listed as:

Fragrance

That single word can represent dozens. Or sometimes hundreds of undisclosed ingredients.

The goal is reducing your overall toxic burden where you reasonably can.

Some labels contain enough syllables to qualify as a spelling bee challenge. At what point does an ingredient list stop feeling informative and start feeling mildly threatening?

A Gentle Approach to Reducing Exposure

Put your garbage bags down.

You don’t need to throw everything away and start making your own soap from dandelions and determination.

You cannot eliminate every toxin.

You cannot control every environmental exposure.

And honestly, trying to do so would probably create more stress than benefit.

The goal isn’t perfection.

Small, sustainable changes tend to be far more effective than dramatic overhauls.

Start with one product.

Then another.

And keep going at a pace that feels manageable.

Homemade Alternatives

One reason many people choose homemade products is because the ingredients are simple, familiar, and transparent.

When you know exactly what’s in something, there’s less mystery.

You may also reduce your exposure to fragrances, preservatives, and other unnecessary additives.

Here are a few of my favourite homemade recipes:

Homemade Deodorant

Recipe @ healthylifetrainer Note: Unlike antiperspirants, which block sweat glands, this recipe functions as a deodorant. It helps control odour while allowing your body to sweat naturally. The other thing to be aware of is its ability to turn into deodorant soup when stored above room temperature. Store it in the cooler if you go camping!⛺️

Homemade All-Purpose Cleaner

Recipe @ lifelovelarson

Homemade Eye Makeup Cleaner

Recipe @ wholenewmom

Homemade Face Wash

Recipe @ Pinterest

A Forest Therapy Practice for Simplifying Your Routine

One of the biggest challenges with reducing hormone disruptors is deciding where to start.

Forest therapy offers a different approach.

Rather than creating a long list of things you have to change immediately, begin with awareness.

Take a slow walk in nature.

Leave your phone in your pocket.

Notice what catches your attention.

Listen to the sounds around you.

Feel the ground beneath your feet.

Allow your nervous system to settle.

When you find a place that feels inviting, sit quietly for a few minutes.

Ask yourself:

  • What products do I use every day?
  • Which products spend the most time on my skin?
  • Which products do I inhale regularly?
  • Which product would be easiest to replace?
  • Which change feels supportive rather than stressful?

Then ask:

“If I could change one thing this month, what would make the biggest difference?”

Forest therapy reminds us that healing doesn’t always happen through doing more.

Sometimes it begins by slowing down enough to notice what our bodies have been trying to tell us.

When I started forest therapy the trees and I got along immediately. Unlike my hormones 😖 😡.

Perimenopause

Slowly losing every chemical that was helping me tolerate people.

Health Is More Than Avoiding Toxins

Removing unnecessary exposures can be helpful.

But building health is equally important.

Sometimes we become so focused on what we should eliminate that we forget what we need to add.

The foundations matter.

Prioritize Sleep

Sleep is when your body repairs, regulates hormones, supports immunity, and recovers from daily stress. Clean up your sleep routine.

Eat Nourishing Foods

Focus on foods that support your body rather than aiming for perfection. Slowly move towards the diet your body needs.

Move in Ways That Work for You

The best exercise is the one your body can recover from. That answer looks different for everyone.

Get Outside

Sunlight helps regulate circadian rhythms, mood, and overall wellbeing. Get out in the first minutes of your day.

Nelipot

English; a rare and poetic word that refers to someone who walks barefoot, one who feels than earth beneath their feet, often implying a connection with nature or a simple, grounded lifestyle.

Put Your Feet on the Ground

Whether you call it grounding, earthing, or simply standing barefoot in the grass, many people report feeling calmer and more connected afterward. I concur.

Spend Time in Nature

Nature lowers stress, restores attention, and creates opportunities for rest and reflection. More than getting outside it is connecting with the natural world.

The forest continues to offer something many modern products can’t: simplicity. The more time I spend in nature, the more I understand why my body keeps asking me to return. The message is clear.

Less fragrance. More forests.

My nervous system is a strong advocate for sunshine, birdsong, and not reading every ingredient.

Why Forest Therapy Matters

Forest therapy isn’t about replacing medicine, specialists, or common sense.

It’s about creating conditions that support healing.

I’ve seen it support people who were struggling.

I’ve also seen it elevate people who were already doing well.

Nature doesn’t ask us to be healthy before we show up.

It simply offers an environment that encourages restoration, resilience, and connection.

Whether you’re managing chronic illness or simply trying to feel your best, time in nature can be one of the simplest and most accessible forms of self-care available.

Turns out one of the healthiest things I can do is wander through the forest looking slightly lost.

Final Thoughts

Nature has never pulled me aside to discuss my skincare routine. I don’t have to be a perfect version of myself before I can join.

It simply reminds me to take the next step.

Sometimes that’s all healing requires.

We can’t control every toxin, every chemical exposure, or every challenge life throws our way. But we can support our bodies through simple, consistent practices.

Sleep. Movement. Nutritious food. Sunshine. Fresh air. Time in nature. Small choices made repeatedly over time often have the greatest impact

Not because they’re dramatic. But because they’re sustainable.

And unlike the mystery bottle hiding under your bathroom sink since 2014, those habits never expire.

Maybe living your best life just means slowing down enough to see how good it already is.

Female Hormones: Our Fickle Fairweather Friend

pammunkholm

My hormones and I are in a “situationship.”

Years ago, I became convinced I was getting less intelligent.

I would walk into a room and forget why. Lose all my trains of thought mid-sentence. Derailed. No coming back.

I’d constantly search for words that had wandered off unsupervised. They would come back hours later, long after it was needed and with no apology whatsoever.

I blamed stress.

I blamed being busy.

I blamed getting older.

In reality, it was probably all of those things, mixed with hormonal changes I didn’t fully understand yet.

Female hormones are funny. They’re a bit like a Saskatchewan summer storm. One minute the sky is clear, the sun is shining, and life feels manageable. The next, the wind picks up, the clouds roll in, and you’re wondering if you should have brought a jacket, umbrella and storm cellar.

The weather didn’t become bad.

It changed.

Our hormones do too.

Female hormones are a bit like Saskatchewan weather. If you don’t like what’s happening right now, wait ten minutes.

Most of us think of hormones as reproductive messengers, but they influence far more than our cycles. They affect sleep, memory, focus, mood, energy, and even how connected we feel to the people around us.

One of the most interesting ideas I encountered from a recent podcast interview with Dr. Anna Cabeca. While estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone get most of the attention, hormones like cortisol and oxytocin may have an even bigger impact on how we experience daily life.

Oxytocin is often called the love hormone. It’s associated with connection, belonging, trust, laughter, affection, friendship, pets, nature, and community.

Likewise, oxytocin and cortisol tend to pull in opposite directions.

But the story doesn’t end there. The plot thickens.

As any prairie girl knows, sunshine and thunderstorms often share the same forecast.

When stress becomes chronic, such as in a body dealing with chronic pain, connection often suffers.

Many of us don’t just feel tired. We feel disconnected.

From ourselves.

From others.

From the things that once brought us joy.

Progesterone plays a role too. It supports sleep, cognition, brain health, and nervous system regulation.

Testosterone contributes to motivation, confidence, energy, and focus. Both naturally decline as we age, and both can be influenced by chronic stress.

Side note: I would like to point out that aging naturally isn’t nearly as freaky as whatever is happening with the people trying desperately to avoid it. Also, at what age do we start meeting for Bingo? Because I’m ready.

Progesterone naturally declines in women, typically beginning in the mid-thirties as ovarian function gradually changes.

My body got the memo that the warranty has expired. All systems started responding the way you’d expect at the end of a warranty. (despite the fact that I was built in the 70s and should have been made to last)

Looking back at my own health journey, I spent years trying to solve individual symptoms.

If I could just stop the migraines.

If I could just overcome the fatigue.

If I could just break the insomnia.

What I eventually learned is that the body doesn’t divide itself into neat little boxes the way we often do.

Sleep affects stress.

Stress affects hormones.

Hormones affect mood.

Mood affects relationships.

Relationships affect wellbeing.

Pull one thread and the whole thing unravels.

That’s why healing often requires support from multiple directions.

👏 Good food.

👏 Movement.

👏 Sleep.

👏 Stress management.

👏 Connection.

👏 Time outdoors.

The podcast also reinforced something I’ve known for years: nature has a remarkable way of helping us regulate.

Not because it magically solves our problems, but because it reminds our nervous systems what calm feels like.

Like sitting quietly in warm sunshine after a long winter.

Like hearing nothing but leaves rustle in the breeze.

The Practice

One simple forest therapy practice is this:

  • Stop
  • Notice 5 things moving around you (leaves, clouds, grass, insects, birds)
  • Listen for 3 sounds
  • Notice 2 scents
  • Take one slow breath

It’s amazing how quickly the nervous system responds when we give it the chance.

The body benefits from movement, and the mind benefits from stillness.

–Sakyong Mipham

Ways To Support Oxytocin Naturally

The good news is that many of the things that support oxytocin are surprisingly simple.

  • Hug someone you love.
  • Spend time with a pet.
  • Get outside.
  • Sit around a table with friends.
  • Laugh.
  • Touch grass. Literally.
  • Watch a sunrise.
  • Watch a sunset.
  • Practice gratitude.
  • Connect with people who make you feel safe and seen.

None of these things are revolutionary.

But maybe that’s the point.

Sometimes healing isn’t found in adding another supplement.

Sometimes it’s found in adding another conversation.

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.

Anne Lamont

Your Most Important Appointment

One idea I loved from another podcast was the concept of holding regular wellness meetings with yourself.

Not a performance review. Not a guilt session.

A wellness meeting.

Three times a week, ask yourself this:

What do I need today?

Maybe it’s a walk.

Maybe it’s strength training.

Maybe it’s sitting outside with your morning tea and watching the sunrise.

The goal isn’t perfection.

The goal is paying attention before your body starts communicating through burnout, brain fog, anxiety, or exhaustion.

My ultimate goal isn’t to control every hormone. It’s to stop being blindsided by them.

Because hormones may be fickle.

But they’re also messengers.

And sometimes they’re simply asking us to listen.

The greatest wealth is health.

–Virgil

This is the first post in a hormone series. Next week we’ll look at hormone disruptors: where the biggest offenders are hiding, and what to use instead.

From Midlife Crisis to Midlife Chrysalis

pammunkholm

That, perhaps, is the difference between a crisis and a chrysalis. One keeps us frozen in fear. The other slowly reshapes us.

Technically, I’m not even fully in my midlife years yet.

And yet my body arrived early to the party.

A complete hysterectomy fast-tracked me into conversations I thought I still had years to prepare for.

Ironically, some circles don’t allow me in to the conversation because I’m “far too young” to know what menopause is.

It seems my reproductive system retired before society was emotionally prepared to handle it. Medically, I pass the test but I always get ID’d at the door.

I was medically launched into menopause with all the glamorous perks.

Hot flashes. Joint pain. An increasingly fragile relationship with sleep. And the deeply humbling realization that apparently your underarms and mid range can become flabby despite hours of working out at the gym.

(Nothing prepares you for sneezing incorrectly in your 40s.)

My body has adopted the classic expired warranty strategy, catastrophic synchronized failure. I’ve entered the ‘everything squeaks, leaks, or spasms unexpectedly’ chapter of ownership. My body has moved beyond ‘minor repairs’ and into ‘have you considered replacing the whole unit?’ territory.

Which is why a phrase I recently heard on the podcast Hello Menopause! grabbed my attention.

“Midlife chrysalis.”

Not midlife crisis. Midlife chrysalis.

The episode featured Chip Conley talking about reinvention, and I chose to listen to this episode because crisis sounds like collapse. Losing control. Becoming less.

Like panic bangs and plans to live “off-grid” and taking up emotional support hobbies. Sourdough starter anyone?

But chrysalis?

That sounds like transformation.

Messy. Strange. Hidden. Uncomfortable. Necessary.

A chrysalis says. You are not falling apart. You are simply changing form.

I think many of us who have experienced chronic illness, disability, grief, loss, burnout, etc. arrive at this transformation long before the culture expects us to.

Some of us are forced into reinvention before we even finish becoming who we thought we would be.

The Crisis

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart.

–Rainer Maria Rilke

There absolutely was a crisis season.

Not just medically.

Existentially.

There is something disorienting about realizing your body is not going to cooperate with the original blueprint for your life.

You grieve things.

Energy. Ease. Predictability. The version of yourself who thought she could plan her future in permanent marker.

I’ve written before about the strange ache of living in a body that refuses to follow the original architectural plans. This season feels deeply connected to that journey. An All-Too-Familiar Tale in Misdiagnosed/ Underdiagnosed Female Chronic Pain: This Is My Story

Now I write my plans lightly in pencil.

Sometimes crayon. When I need a little more whimsy in my days.

There were years where survival became the main objective. Years where my nervous system felt like a shaken vending machine full of stress hormones. Years where I thought resilience meant pushing harder instead of listening deeper.

And then came the hysterectomy.

One of those dividing-line experiences where life becomes Before and After.

Before, I still secretly believed if I tried hard enough I might someday return to the old version of myself.

After, I slowly began realizing there may not be a way back. Emotional landslides and experiential cave-ins had blocked that passage way.

Forward and through became my only options. Through self-realizations. Humbling concessions. Constant negotiations between mind and body.

And maybe that is where the chrysalis begins.

The Chrysalis

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

–Anaïs Nin

A chrysalis does not look impressive from the outside.

It looks still. Inactive. Even broken down.

But inside? An extraordinary reorganization is happening.

And I think that’s what midlife (or medically-induced midlife-adjacent existentialism) can become.

Not a crisis to survive. But a transformation to participate in. Whole-heartedly.

Chip Conley talked about how the first half of life is often about accumulation.

We gather. Relationships. Responsibilities. Possessions. Roles. Expectations. Obligations. Dreams that once fit.

And eventually we become emotionally overstuffed.

He described midlife as “a great midlife edit.”

As I listened I considered the fact that chronic illness forces the edit whether you volunteer readily or not.

You simply cannot carry everything forever when your body already feels like it’s carrying a weighted backpack full of loose cutlery.

At some point you must ask important questions.

  • What still fits?
  • What actually matters?
  • What has become lukewarm in my life?

Do you know what a lukewarm life looks like? One of the lines from the podcast,

Pouring out part of your tea allows you to pour some hot new tea into the cup.

Because some things are not meant to last forever. Not every friendship. Not every role. Not every expectation you once had for yourself.

And maybe releasing those things is not failure. Maybe it’s pruning.

The forest understands this better than we do.

The Forest

One of the reasons forest therapy has become so meaningful to me is because the forest never panics about transformation.

Forest therapy has taught me that stillness is not the same thing as stagnation. Sometimes what appears dormant is actually becoming. I wrote more about that in this post, Nourish Your Nervous System: Forest Therapy Insights

Deadfall becomes nourishment. Burned places grow new life. Trees release entire branches to survive harsh seasons. These changes that seem negative are essential to a healthy forest.

Humans also require those experiences that appear negative and are actually essential for a healthy life.

In the forest, decay and renewal, soft and hard, smooth and sharp are all happening simultaneously.

And honestly, that feels like midlife too.

Especially for those of us living in bodies that have known pain.

We have experienced days where tears of pain rolled down the left cheek while tears of joy rolled down the right.

We know how to hold grief and gratitude at the same time.

That depth changes a person.

We know what it is to laugh in waiting rooms. To find beauty in tiny victories. To feel gratitude and grief sharing the same chair.

I have learned that emotional pain cannot simply be numbed away the same way physical pain can. There is no ibuprofen for identity loss. No heating pad for disappointment. No prescription for becoming someone new.

And while suffering itself is not noble, I do think deep experiences deepen people.

My chronic comrades know this.

Pain can also make people bitter, stuck, isolated, hardened.

That, perhaps, is the difference between a crisis and a chrysalis. One keeps us frozen in fear. The other slowly reshapes us.

If we allow ourselves to learn from it. We can become more compassionate. Tender. Wise. Present. Better able to sit beside someone else’s suffering without looking away.

As they said in the podcast,

Our painful life lessons are the raw material for our future wisdom.

I believe that in my soul.

The Offering

Sometimes our culture subtly teaches that the people worth listening to are the successful ones. The polished ones. The credentialed ones. The endlessly productive ones

What can we do about this imbalance? If you ever deem somebody less than you… ask yourself what they can teach you.

Because some of the wisest people I know have had their lives interrupted.

Some had to abandon dreams they loved. Some never got the education they were capable of and deserved. Some are rebuilding lives with parts and pieces they never would have chosen.

And still. They carry wisdom.

Do not think less of yourself because your life required adaptation. You are not behind because your path bent unexpectedly.

Some of us have earned emotional depth the hard way.

And if you cannot live the exact life you once pictured?

Find something to run toward anyway.

Even if your pace looks different now. Even if you have to limp toward it some days. Even if your dream has changed shape entirely.

A chrysalis does not become what it originally was.

That is the whole point!

A Forest Therapy Invitation: Chrysalis Walk

The next time you’re in a forest, park, or tree-lined path, try this:

Walk slowly and notice signs of transition.

  • What is decomposing?
  • What is emerging?
  • What is shedding?
  • What is adapting?
  • What still carries beauty despite visible damage?

Then ask yourself:

  • What version of myself am I grieving?
  • What no longer fits?
  • What wants to emerge now?
  • What if this season is transformation instead of failure?

You do not need immediate answers.

The forest is always becoming new. Slowly. Over time.

The Question

One question from the podcast we can all ask ourselves,

Ten years from now, what will I regret if I don’t learn or do now?

Conley called anticipated regret a form of wisdom. Chronic illness teaches you that later is not guaranteed. Perfect timing is imaginary. And someday can become never surprisingly fast.

So maybe this chapter is not about trying to reclaim who we once were.

Maybe it is about becoming more fully ourselves.

Hot flashes.
Heating pads.
Existential growth.
And all.

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.

–Richard Bach

Finding Calm in Fibromyalgia: The Power of Forest Therapy

pammunkholm

fibromyalgia- noun, the feeling of being run over by a bus, dipped into a bucket of acid, and repeatedly thrown off a cliff without any physical evidence

So fibromyalgia,

This tale began long before the word fibromyalgia ever entered the room.

Before the angry bees. Before the heat waves. Before the exhaustion that made my bones hum.

Back then, my body was already waving a white flag.

Endometriosis had long been the ringleader of chaos, and hypermobility joined the act with its own flair for the dramatic. My hormones seemed to operate on a “scorched-earth” policy, every cycle left me depleted in every possible way: physically, mentally, spiritually, energetically.

So, after years of living in that internal thunderstorm, I made the decision to have a hysterectomy. It felt like clearing the undergrowth and removing what was fueling the fires, hoping sunlight could finally reach the forest floor. The surgery did bring relief. No more monthly hormonal hurricanes, no more monthly pain to the degree it pulled joints out of place. In this body that closely resembles a badly fastened tent in a windstorm.

But when the dust settled, I was left with a forest that had already burned.

Attending to the Aftermath: When Your Body Refuses to Cooperate

Recovery was supposed to be a time of healing, but my body apparently missed that memo. Surgery, anesthesia, medications, they left their residue. And to top it off, I woke up to find I’d been dropped unceremoniously into menopause.

My body and I have had a complicated relationship, but menopause turned it into a full-on standoff. Hormone therapy was off the table after one tiny patch sent my muscles on an extended vacation. No postcard, no warning, just gone 👋🏼.

So I turned to holistic treatments. Some soothed the edges, helped me sleep, softened the emotional rage that had been living rent-free in my chest. But nothing touched the furnace within. Every thirty minutes, like clockwork, my body would light up with that internal combustion that seems to come from the bowels of Hell itself. Heart racing. Skin buzzing. Brain short-circuiting.

Then came the chills. The kind that made you question every life choice that led to this point.

This cycle of heat, sweat, freeze, repeat, went on for a year. Every. Half. Hour.

But also this 👇🏼

It’s hard to heal when your body never stops sounding the alarm.

Tuirse

(Irish/gaelic) a deep sense of tiredness, weariness or fatigue that can refer to both physical and emotional or spiritual exhaustion. Soul- level weariness, melancholy, or the emotional heaviness of enduring life’s struggles. (gaeilgeoir.ai)

Buzzed and Bothered Bees

Fibromyalgia had been sitting quietly on my medical chart for years. Alongside its equally mysterious companion, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. I used to think they were just polite placeholders for the doctors to say 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♂️ “we don’t actually think you have anything.”

But after the hysterectomy, I learned what they really meant.

It started in my forearms, this sharp tingling that grew into what I now call the angry bees. I picked that up from somewhere. That’s not my analogy.

A swarm of bees that lives under my skin, buzzing, burning, twitching. Eventually, the bees migrated up my arms, into my neck, sometimes triggering migraines that feel like the entire hive moved into my skull.

I’ve come to learn the bees are mood-driven. They thrive on stress and pain but mellow out in sunshine and rest. On a good day, when my toes are buried in natural elements, the bees hum instead of sting.

Fibromyalgia is like that. Unpredictable, wild, and buzzing with sensations that don’t make sense but demand attention.

Contemplating my Clearing

Somewhere in all of that chaos, I found forest therapy.

It didn’t happen with a grand epiphany. It started with a slow walk. A quiet pause. A breath that finally reached the bottom of my lungs.

I began to notice how the forest holds its own balance. Even when trees are damaged as storms tear through, life finds a way to reorganize itself. The underbrush grows back differently. Sometimes softer, sometimes stronger, always intentional.

So I began to clear my own underbrush. The overgrown “shoulds.” The tangles of perfectionism. The toxic patterns that had wrapped themselves around my worth.

As the poet John O’Donohue wrote,

When the mind is festering with trouble or the heart torn, we can find healing among the silence of mountains or fields, or listen to the simple, steadying rhythm or waves.

In the woods, I let myself unravel a little. My body could buzz, twitch, and ache but surrounded by green, the bees didn’t seem so angry. The forest became a mirror, showing me that healing isn’t about erasing pain, it’s about learning to live among it, gently.

The Healing Continues…

“The forest is not merely an expression or representation of sacredness, nor a place to invoke the sacred; the forest is sacredness itself.” – Richard Nelson

The bees still visit. The heat still flares. The fatigue still sneaks up like fog rolling in uninvited.

But now, I have a clearing to return to. A place both within and around me, where my nervous system can remember what calm feels like.

Fibromyalgia taught me that healing isn’t a straight path. It’s more like a winding forest trail that keeps surprising you. Some days you stumble. Some days you sit on a log and cry. And some days—miraculously—you dance with the bees instead of fighting them.

So I keep walking. Slowly. Barefoot when I can. Listening for birdsong between the buzzing.

And when I feel the swarm rising, I head for the trees asap.

Because out there, among the whispering leaves and mossy ground, my body remembers what peace feels like. Even if just for a breath.

I pray this winter be gentle and kind- a season of rest from the wheel of the mind.

-John Geddes

Menopause Uncovered: Taboos Broken and Symptoms Revealed

pammunkholm

I was going to label this as a women’s post but really guys should know this too. Proceed at your own risk.

What is it with menopause being such a hush- hush topic? We are educated at home and at school about puberty yet when it comes to menopause there is no such help on the topic. Anyone can google or do some research on the subject but do we? And how accurate is the information we are reading?

Despite the fact that I am now postmenopausal, I think? I am clearly far from an expert on the subject. Before my scheduled hysterectomy I figured I knew enough about what would happen from the little bit of girl talk and the way after- school specials made fun of it back in my day. I clearly remember Clair Huxtable on The Cosby Show faking what happens to women by going on in a big ordeal that ended with her head in their fridge freezer to make a point to her family. It seemed to say menopause will make you ridiculous unless you are strong enough to withstand the symptoms everyone goes on about. Or at least that’s what I took from it.

All my husband knew of menopause before my surgery was remembering his grandma pulling the car over and jumping out to tear her sweater off because she suddenly got too warm. It’s a funny family story that still circulates. To be fair I didn’t do much research on the matter either.

Before my complete hysterectomy I looked up the symptoms and side effects and how to try to avoid them. I thought I knew what I was in for. All the symptoms can be laughed off which makes it really dangerous for those that experience them to the extreme.

I had my surgery in May of 2019. Technically I was menopausal for one year following the surgery. But I am five years post surgery and I still have crazy symptoms. So here I am, labelled post when I am still obviously present! I am experiencing hot flashes every half hour. And other symptoms too. Clearly I must have missed a step.

It was one thing to deal with the symptoms I expected. But another to try and explain the ones nobody had heard about.

I talked to my doctor about 6 months after my hysterectomy and told her I still had all the symptoms of a cycle minus the actual period. She assured me it was all in my head. Then she man-splained how when you don’t have ovaries you can’t have a cycle. Now I know I am not the only one who has experienced this symptom. I am not making it up.

Between this brain fog that slows down my processing speed and my age, my eyes needed help with progressive lenses shortly after the surgery. And they are still going downhill quickly. This was not a symptom for which I was prepared. Yet I have read about more than one person who has experienced this decline in prescription during menopause.

Hot flashes. Yes, I’ve heard of those. I’ve heard comedians poke fun. But cold flashes? Nope. That was not in the top ten things to watch for. I mentioned before that I looked forward to warming up since I run cold. But a cold flash for someone that was already cold is terribly uncomfortable. I have to dress up to change rooms in my house if the temperature is at all lower. Followed closely by being too warm in the extra clothes and leaving more mess strewn around the house than my kids did as pre schoolers. And once I get too warm or too cold? Good night Nelly! I can’t get back to normal. Steaming or boiling anything on the stove was out of the question for over a year after the surgery. I still struggle to make a meal because once I start to hot flash I can’t bring it back. I just keep hot flashing until the meal is done and I am a hot mess.

And lastly and the most fun of all…? the emotional roller coaster. I would classify myself as someone who keeps a pretty level head and a cool demeanor in most situations. I had a mean streak as a teenager but I’ve since tamed that beast. I knew that hot flashes would warm me up to put it mildly. But I was not prepared for the rise in frustration and impatience that come with the incredibly warm face and dripping body parts. I relate to this meme, I feel like I’m in a petting zoo and all I wanna do is bite people. Why are there no such words of warning to those who are suffering: Wear breathable clothing! This cannot be stressed enough. Picture being in a rain jacket but you are more soaked on the inside of the jacket than the outside. Brent says when I start to warm up in bed the temperature climbs but even more notably, the humidity rises.

I already mentioned the book I read by Libby Weaver titled, Rushing Women’s Syndrome. I saw another diagnosis with a slightly different definition but the idea is the same. It is called Hurried Sickness. The behavior pattern is caused by a continual rushing and anxiousness and overwhelmingly continued sense of urgency in which a person feels chronically short of time and tends to perform every task faster and gets flustered while encountering any type of delay. That description is spot on for any morning at my house, especially when my kids were younger!

When there is a lack of understanding there is a tendency to feel alone. This non comprehensive list of secret symptoms is only my list. It won’t be the same for everyone. But my list matches with someone’s. And maybe they feel alone too. In evolutionary biology they say a lone monkey is a dead monkey. Instead of feeling alone in whatever you may be facing, share it with others and create a shared nature of suffering. Escape from your own woes by recognizing the suffering of others and reaching out in whatever way fits into your world.

Forest therapy has been the answer for me around my symptoms. When I spend a day outside I rarely notice one hot flash but, I kid you not, a day spent indoors, you will observe me reaching for my fan and taking off my socks and looking for a cold drink (of water) every stinking half hour. For the last five years.

If you want to calm your menopausal or apparently post menopausal symptoms, go to my contact page and book a walk with me to see what forest therapy can do for you.

img_2202

My request for this week may be awkward at first but can we start to foster an attitude that supports more normalcy and education around menopause the way we do around puberty? Google doesn’t hold all the answers. Every time I googled my chronic pain symptoms I ended up with Lupus, like most of the patients on House. As adults we can’t rely on what Google alone has to say. Or even what a single doctor may tell you. But the combined story of actual women who are willing to share actual experiences.

Tell those who can’t handle a discussion around menopause, You SHHHHHH!!!!!

What’s the Rush?

pammunkholm

I’m reading a book by Dr. Libby Weaver. She describes what she calls Rushing Women’s Syndrome, also the name of the book. She says, “Rushing Women’s Syndrome (RWS) describes the biochemical effects of always being in a hurry and the health consequences that urgency elicits.” Ironically, I’m listening to it on double speed because I have to get it done!

Photo by Paweu0142 L. on Pexels.com

I see so much of myself in this description of a rushing woman and I wonder if you do as well. Dr Weaver says, “Imagine if you will RWS in action. It doesn’t seem to matter whether she has 2 things to do or 200. She’s often in a pressing rush to do it all. Wound up like a spring, she runs herself ragged in a daily battle to keep up. There is always so much to do. And she very rarely feels like she wins, is in control or gets on top of things.” (Can I get an amen? 🙌) “In fact her deep desire to control even the smaller details of life can leave her feeling out of control even of herself. Overwhelmed at times she feels like she can’t cope whether she admits it out loud or keeps it all inside adding to her wound up knotted stomach… Most women with RWS suffer terribly with their periods or don’t bleed regularly. Women who go into menopause in this state usually find it debilitating.” Next on the page should be a picture of me. Mid hot flash.

Does any of this feel familiar to you? I see myself in every detail. But that was past me. Now I recognize what it did to me and I would do anything to help even one soul from experiencing what I have. To turn someone back at the gate of being rushed to death.

Dr Weaver continues, “The majority of rushing women are wired and typically get very weary in the late afternoon to early evening but if they stay up after 10 pm they often get a second wind and it is then very hard to go to sleep until 1 or 2 am.” Holy smokes, yes. This is me, spot on. Does she have a live stream of my life? For real, where are the cameras? I had no idea this wasn’t just me.

If you are interested, she has a checklist to see if you are a rushing woman. I was not surprised when, based on who I was, I scored off the charts. If I were to add it up based on me today it would not be zero but it would be significantly better. From what I have read so far I would recommend this book to anyone feeling rushed.

Being a woman that was in a rush for everything, I know when Dr Weaver says it affects our nervous system, our endocrine system and the digestive system, she has seen first hand what I have experienced. I can hold my hand to the sky to bear my witness that not only does it affect these systems, it will squeeze the life out of those systems first. Watch for an overloaded nervous, endocrine or digestive system as these are hard to recover once they are pushed past a certain point.

I look forward to learning the tools and answers that will be presented in the book by Dr Weaver. I am always looking for what is next or what to add to my healing practices. I’m only on chapter 4 so if you’re also interested in her answers, you will need to purchase the book yourself.

But I feel blessed to have my own tools. I know Forest Therapy is a key part of healing for me.

Have you ever stood in front of rushing waters? I love to watch waterfalls or streams. If you have access to something of the sort I invite you to try this practice. Even laying in bed and picturing it will give you some of the benefits. Face the water as it runs towards you. Hear it. Sense the power, even if it’s gently moving. Picture the rush and the busy and the tension of your life letting go, let the water take it away. Allow the water to wash clean all the areas that have not been working and are taking their toll on you and your family. Let it go. Steady now, don’t burst into song on me.

Next shift your focus. Look at the source of the running water. As far as you can see the source. Picture it bringing you all the energy, peace, and guidance you need. My source is Jesus. Yours may be the earth. Family. But there is a source for all of us that is available to heal the physical, emotional and mental damage that’s been done. There is a way to better health starting at any age and any ability level. It will guide you to a better life. The one you pictured as a young child. Was it bright and beautiful? Mine was. And now I found it again. The forest has many healing measures. You just need a guide to help you find them. Head over to my contact page if you want to know more about booking a forest walk with me.

My sweet, tired, rushed friends, join me in the forest.