Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being.
-Rumi
There are places that shape us before we’re even old enough to understand what’s happening. Places that imprint themselves on the soles of our feet, in the rhythm of our breath, in the part of our memory that feels more like home than any house ever could.
For me, that place has always been Diefenbaker Lake.
Some places are so deep inside us that we carry their shoreline in our bones.
-John O’Donohue
I’ve been coming here since I was tiny. Even before I had words for belonging, but somehow already knew I belonged here. Grandpa always made sure of that.
My grandparents had a cabin and a sailboat tucked along these windswept shores. Some of my earliest memories are stitched together with the smell of woodsmoke from backyard fires, the sweetness of my grandpa’s violin, and the rowdy chorus of siblings and cousins running wild between the cabin and the water. With the constant reminder to “wash the sand off your feet before you come in!”
And then there were the cozy, indoor moments that stitched themselves into my heart just as tightly as the beach days. Evenings around the table playing Phase 10, some of us a little too competitive for their own good. And we watched Bedknobs and Broomsticks over and over and over again. Never questioning why, just letting the magic and music wash over us like it was brand new every time.
Mornings were their own kind of ritual. Waking up to Grandma making bacon and something (it didn’t matter what, it’s the bacon that mattered) and the smell of fresh coffee drifting through the cabin. To this day, I associate the scent of coffee with pure happiness, because it always meant family, warmth, and the safe little world we built at the lake.
Teenage awkwardness made an appearance here too, because of course it did. Blushing, fumbling romances that felt monumental at the time. Even with his hair plastered to his face. Perhaps this was done by those winds that could have knocked over a small cow 🤔.
Speaking of cows. They are a regular feature of this lake that is surrounded by pasture land. Two rules. Don’t use a cow as a landmark when giving directions. They tend to move eventually. And don’t pick a beach with a cow path into the water. You can guarantee there’s a few cow pies in there.
Swimming lessons were basically an extreme sport back in my day. With waves bigger than me, wind that felt like knives, and instructors yelling cheerful encouragement while I questioned all of my mom’s life decisions that brought me to this point.
Still, I kept going back.
I lived for the days Uncle David would haul out the power boat. Kneeboarding, tubing, laughing so hard my face hurt. Those were the moments that made childhood feel endless. We’d tear down the path to the beach, towels flying behind us, younger siblings and cousins trailing like joyful chaos. We swam, we snacked, we visited, we repeated. Every day was an epic saga of sunshine and soggy towels.
Sailing days were their own kind of magic. My mom loves to retell the story of my sister and me being so little our feet didn’t touch the floor as we sat at the table down below. Meanwhile grandpa and dad were tacking hard and smiling harder. Every time the sailboat leaned, we’d just… slide helplessly under the table like tiny bewildered penguins. Apparently we were adorable. At the time, I remember thinking, Is this normal? Are we sinking? Should I be able to see the lake out that window?
Dad and grandpa were always smiling so I took that to mean we were safe.
As I grew older I loved sitting at the very front of the sailboat, facing forward, wind whipping around me, I felt like I was flying. When the water was calm, the spinnaker would make an appearance billowing out like a living thing. My grandpa worked the ropes and held the tiller with the easy smile that only comes from loving a place so much. Those are memories I hold like treasures.
My youngest son a few years back in his favorite spot on the sailboat, that front seat.
And now seems like the appropriate moment to confess something to my parents…
I did, in fact, steal the keys and “borrow” the cabin for one weekend as a teenager 😬. I had “a few friends” over. I threw exactly one party in my entire life. And I was so sick with worry the entire time that I basically grounded myself for the rest of my adolescent years. Lesson learned. Sorry. Mostly. It’s been a good story over the years.
I spent my honeymoon at the lake- 26 ½ years ago. We fished, built sandcastles, and solved the great riddle of rural Saskatchewan: there are no gas stations open on Sundays. (At least, not back then.)
About five years ago, my parents bought their own place by my lake It took a some time but something inside me reconnected. Something long since silent woke back up.
I listen excitedly to hear about the ice breaking in the spring. The booming, cracking, shifting sound like the earth stretching after a long sleep. Then, in an instant it seems, the ice is gone. Summer brings shimmering waves, familiar laughter, and barefoot days that always feel too short. Fall arrives in gold and red and farewell winds. Winter… winter brings a darker, quieter beauty. A solemn stillness that somehow feels honest. Vulnerable.
The older I get, the more I find that the quiet places are the ones that speak the loudest.
-Unknown
We’ve camped along these beaches. We’ve laid in the sun. And now, when I head out on my power boat with our next generation, I think of Uncle David. I feel him in the hum of the engine, in the ripple of the wake, in the bright splash of joy that comes with speed and water and family.
The pinnacle of our lake experiences has to be when we helped save our friend’s boat from sinking. When the bladder around the leg came off and they started taking on water, they quickly headed to the boat launch. Seeing they wouldn’t make it, they beached the boat. Then with two other power boats and a cacophony of helpers, they managed to get two boat tubes under the leg and the front of the boat. One of the support boats towed. Two people bailed. People sat on the tubes to balance. And in this ridiculous state we slowly made our way through the marina and up the launch. To the laughter and cheers of watchers nearby.
I have found beauty in the whimsically ordinary.
-Elissa Gregoire
These days I walk the trail by my lake often. I slow down. I breathe.
And somewhere along the way, I realized,
This place has become part of my healing.
Chronic pain forces you to live differently. More slowly, more intentionally, more gently. Forest therapy taught me to seek connection with the natural world, to let my nervous system rest in the presence of trees, water, sky. And here, wrapped in the sounds and rhythms of my lake, something in me softens. Pain quiets. My body remembers safety.
When the heart is overwhelmed, the earth invites us to rest.
-Unknown
My parents host endlessly now, filling their summers with family, friends, neighbours. Anyone who needs a taste of peace.
They are the sailboat owners. And they love it just as much as my grandpa did.
The legacy continues, like wind passing from one generation to the next.
My lake is healing. This home of my parents is healing.
And after all these years, I am still finding new ways to belong here.
There are days the lake knows my story better than I do.
-Unknown
Fluctuat nec mergitur (latin phrase):
She is tossed by the waves but does not sink.
An Ode to My Lake
O Lake of my childhood, keeper of my summers,
You who taught me courage in cold waves
and laughter in the spray of speeding boats
I return to you again with a heart that remembers.
You cradle my earliest joys.
Grandpa’s violin threading through evening air,
firelight warming our faces,
cousins tumbling down the path like wild things set free.
You were witness to awkward teenage hopes,
to frozen swimming lessons and winds that stole my breath,
I remember a morning in spring. There was still a noticeable chill in the air. I slipped outside, to the sights and sounds of my summer second home.
My muscles were tight, my mind crowded with worry and pain—nothing dramatic, just persistent soreness that has become my constant companion.
I wandered toward the trees, the sound of the wind through the leaves soft but insistently present. I closed my eyes. I felt my breath slow. My shoulders dropped. And, almost imperceptibly at first, the ache that had built over a winter, within me softened.
That moment wasn’t some mystical escape. It was evidence of something real: the mind-body connection responding to something ancient: nature.
This post is a little more technical than some of my others. In this post, I want to walk you through the science behind how nature calms the nervous system, lowers pain perception, and gives the body a chance to remember how to rest.
This is not just a nice idea or a self-help quip. I see it working in my life, and the research backs it. I share some of that research in the links provided. Feel free to check it out or to give those links a hard pass.
Mind Meets Body: A Dialogue of Perspectives
Healing is not forcing the body into a state of ‘perfection.’ It’s listening to what it has been trying to say.
-Dr Joe Dispenza
First: we are not two separate things. The nervous system is constantly sensing, interpreting, and “talking” to our organs, muscles, immune system, and even to our thoughts and memories. That internal sensing is called interoception — our body’s ability to monitor its own internal state (heart rate, gut sensation, breathing, tension) and for the brain to make meaning of it.
When we live under chronic stress or chronic pain, that conversation becomes distorted. The sympathetic branch of our autonomic nervous system (fight-or-flight) is persistently overactivated. Our brain becomes hypervigilant to threats, amplifying pain signals, even in places that may no longer need it.
But there is a counterbalance: the parasympathetic state (rest-and-digest) — a state where the body repairs, digests, heals, breathes deeply.
Engaging that side is essential for true resilience. And nature offers a powerful entry point into that parasympathetic realm.
Querencia
{Spanish concept}(n) a place where one feels emotionally safe, a place from which one’s strength of character is drawn.
Nature’s Remedy: Calming the Nervous System
The forest is not merely an escape, it’s a return — a remembering of who we are.
-Unknown
Here is where the “nice idea” begins to feel like a compelling method.
1. Visual contact with nature calms brain & autonomic activity
This overview demonstrates that simply viewing natural elements—flowers, green plants, wood—induces shifts in the brain and the autonomic nervous system, compared with urban or non-natural environments. Link
More recently, neuroscientists have shown through brain imaging that exposure to nature lowers pain perception by reducing neural signals associated with pain processing. Link
In one study, subjects viewed virtual nature scenes while receiving mild pain stimuli, and the brain’s “pain network” lit up less strongly than when viewing urban scenes. Link
2. Nature reduces physiological stress markers
Time outdoors helps shift us from sympathetic arousal toward parasympathetic. Essentially, nature helps us “come out of our heads and into our bodies.” Link
Forest bathing (shinrin-yoku), for example, has been associated with lowered cortisol, reduced blood pressure, decreased heart rate, and improved immune function. Link
3. Attention restoration & easing mental fatigue
One pillar in environmental psychology is the Attention Restoration Theory (ART), which states that when we gaze at nature’s “soft fascinations”—rustling leaves, flowing water, birdsong—we can rest our directed attention (the kind used to suppress distractions) and recover cognitive capacity. Link
When our cognitive resources are less taxed, the brain has more “bandwidth” to regulate our threat systems and lower baseline arousal.
4. Pain modulation is emotional & contextual
Pain is never just a signal from tissues; it is affected by context, anticipation, emotion, and attention. One fMRI study found that anticipation of pain modulates how strongly sympathetic nervous responses occur, and that the brain’s anticipatory circuitry has a top-down influence on peripheral responses. Link
In simple terms, if your brain predicts threat, your body braces for it — heart rate rises, muscles tense, and pain signals grow louder. But when your mind learns to recognize what’s happening without adding fear, it begins to change that loop.
This is exactly what happened to me.
After my hysterectomy, I wasn’t able to take any hormone replacement treatments — they aggravated my other conditions. My body still struggles today to regulate temperature. I hot flash every thirty minutes. Down to a minute. I’ve timed it.
After about a year of this, my body simply couldn’t keep up. The constant swing from sweltering heat to shivering cold became unbearable. There was no rest. No pause between storms.
Then I started to notice the toll — not just physically, but mentally. My nervous system was on edge all the time, anticipating the next wave. I realized that the dread itself — the bracing — was its own kind of suffering.
So I tried an experiment. When I felt that familiar rush rising, I paused. I prepared but didn’t brace. I reached for my water, turned on the fan, maybe sat down if possible. I still remind myself in those moments: this will pass. The less weight I give it — but the more gentle attention I offer — the easier it is to ride out.
These days, my hot flashes still come every thirty minutes. But they are not as draining. They are little blips on the screen — reminders that my body is doing its best to find balance. And in meeting that discomfort with compassion rather than panic, I’ve discovered something powerful: the way we feel our pain changes the way we experience it.
A Walk on the Healing Side
The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
-Rumi
Not long ago, back pain had eaten away my joy. I was down to minimal movement, scared of flare-ups, medicated, trying every therapy that sounded promising. Yet my life was shrinking.
I decided on a small experiment: every morning for two weeks, I would walk down the lane of our farm (or sit quietly under a tree if I couldn’t walk). I would try to notice one thing—perhaps a bird’s call, the play of light on water, a soft breeze. No goal, no agenda.
Day 1: I came back discouraged — I didn’t feel anything.
Day 4: My back still hurt, but I felt… calmer. My breathing was softer.
Day 8: The pain seemed less urgent. The thoughts around it quieter.
By day 14, I don’t know if the pain was less in absolute measure, but I am less ‘in it.’ I have more distance. More space.
Over months, I was able to move farther, sit longer. The pain never vanished, but its domination receded.
My story is not unique. What I was discovering is that the mind-body conversation can shift — the “volume” of pain need not always be maxed out.
The Secret Sauce: How This Works for Me and You
If you have felt that creeping tightness, that locked jaw, that ache that feels like both body and memory. When I walk through forested trails, when I sit by a lakeshore, when I simply stare at mossy bark and inhale the green air, I feel a shift. The chatter quiets. My breath lengthens. My internal tension softens. The pain, though still there, becomes less commanding.
The science shows these are not placebo effects. They are biological responses rooted in ancient neural circuits. We evolved in natural worlds. Our nervous systems know these landscapes. They remember how to open.
If you struggle with chronic pain, anxiety, overthinking, or tension, nature may be a tool you undervalue — not a luxury, but a medicine written into our being.
How to Make the Mind-Body & Nature Practice Relatable, Real, and Sustainable
Here are some practical suggestions (adapt to your pace):
Start small. Even 5 minutes of forest view, or stepping outside to touch grass, can activate calming circuits.
Engage the senses. Smell, listen, feel textures, watch movement. Let nature draw you back from rumination.
Use “indirect nature.” If you’re indoors, look out a window, use nature audio, or view images/videos of nature — these have shown measurable benefit.
Pair movement & stillness. Walking in nature is stronger than walking elsewhere.
Be consistent. The cumulative effect matters. Some studies suggest 120 minutes per week in nature correlates with better well-being. Link
Watch your attitude. Let go of “must heal fast” thinking. Allow nature to be patient, gentle.
Journal your experience. Track tension, mood, pain before and after nature time. Over weeks, patterns can emerge.
Epiphanies and Reflections: To Our Journey’s End
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
-Lao Tzu
We live in an era of constant stimuli, complications, and demands. Our nervous systems were not built for perpetual alarms. The ancient pulse of wind through leaves, water over stones, soil underfoot — these are languages the body still knows. Nature asks us lowly: come back. Listen. Breathe.
So next time the ache presses, try this: walk quietly through green, or sit beneath trees, allow your senses to soften, invite rest. You may find that pain loosens its grip, that your nervous system sighs, that mind and body remember their trust.
Peace is this moment without judgment. That is all.
-Dorothy Hunt
Perhaps part of the answer is: to slow down. To open to nature. To let the body learn again.
Sometimes my life feels like a forest—dense, shadowed, and uneven.
Everyone else seems to walk a wide, sunlit path: their maps are clear, their steps steady, their packs light.
Meanwhile, I carry heavy bundles of pain and medicine, stumbling often, wondering if I’ll ever catch up.
~Cue the tiny violins 🎻 🤭~
Beyond the Familiar: Embracing a Different Forest
My therapist keeps telling me to stop comparing myself to other people – that life’s not a competition. Which, to be fair, is exactly what I’d say to someone I was trying to beat, too.
Comparison is never useful. It’s like measuring trees by how tall they look in someone else’s forest, forgetting that soil, roots, storms, and sunlight differ wildly.
Or like judging an oak tree by how quickly the wildflowers around it bloom. Different roots, different seasons, different reasons for being.
And yet I fall into it—measuring my path against someone else’s trail, forgetting we are not even walking in the same terrain.
Comparing … is a waste of time and effort; we are all different people, experiencing and feeling things differently.
San Diego Prepare Yourself: Sisterhood Adventures Await
Next month, my sisters will gather in San Diego. I am so excited for them. And to hear about their adventures. Sunshine, laughter, time to connect. It’ll be fabulous.
I would love to be there. But the cost of my monthly medicine is about the same as what that trip would take.
I live in a different economy—the economy of pain management. So instead of boarding a plane, I stay home.
~Poor lil’ me 🥲👉👈 🤣 ~
It’s hard not to compare. Their togetherness, my absence. Their momentum, my stillness. I remind myself that longing is not failure—but it still stings.
Screenshots of a Life I Don’t Live: Family Call, Personal Spiral
On a recent morning: my sister called from her vacation in London. On a family video call. At 9 a.m., I was still coaxing my muscles awake.
I listened to the bagpipes she was sharing and checked out the sights in the background. I marvelled at what she has been able to accomplish and see in her life. I joy in her success.
Inevitably another emotion starts to rise. As on the screen, this is what I see:
One sister in her home office, thriving in a job that suits her perfectly.
Another in her kitchen, caring for her family and home.
A sister-in-law outdoors, likely at the park or on a walk with her two littles.
My parents smiling in their living room, enjoying retirement and seeing their family.
And then there was me—tired, clearly still in bed, clearly accomplishing nothing.
That’s how I saw it. In truth, no one said that. But comparison painted me useless in bold letters across the screen.
~Woe is meee 🐌💤 😜 ~
A Sermon I Couldn’t Speak
At church, I tried to answer a question on a bad pain day after a sleepless night. My words came tangled, incomplete.
I saw my husband’s face and thought, I’m taking too long. I gave up. Without tying my random thoughts together. And I gave him the microphone. He expertly gave a clear, concise answer that was perfectly on point. My effort looked weak next to his polish.
“My brain and I, we are not friends. My brain and I, we are classmates doing a group assignment called Life. And it’s not going great.”
But here’s the truth: trying counts. Even stumbling words are a kind of courage.
The Math of Measuring Up Never Works: The Broken Ruler I Keep Using
Comparison is a thief. It always leaves you with less than you started.
It’s like weighing a feather against a stone and expecting the scale to balance it out. It demands a sameness life never promised. It blinds us to the worth in our own story.
As a people, we tend to magnify the strengths and blessings another person receives. But minimize our own gifts, talents and opportunities. Social media is as helpful as a screen on a submarine when it comes to perpetuating this problem.
There’s no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn’t be ranked, because pain is not a contest.
Fear and scarcity trigger comparison and we start to rank our own suffering.
Brown calls this comparative suffering. She goes on to say,
The opposite of scarcity is not abundance; the opposite of scarcity is simply enough.
Empathy is not finite, and compassion is not a pizza with eight slices. When you practice empathy and compassion with someone, there is not less of these qualities to go around. There’s more. Love is the last thing we need to ration in this world
This toxic pattern of comparison blocks emotional processing and prevents genuine empathy, creating isolation rather than connection.
My worth is not judged by what I do in comparison to others, but by what I do with what I have—what love, what compassion, what presence I can offer. Even just in showing up.
Measuring By Love, Not Ladders
I’ve decided to measure my life by something else: in every conversation, I want the other person to leave feeling better about themselves than when we started.
If they do, then I’ve accomplished something real. It may not be a promotion, a trip abroad, or a picture-perfect moment. But it’s love, and it’s within my reach.
In such a headspace there should be no time for shame and comparing. Only felicitations and adulation.
Broken But Still Moving
Mandy Harvey is a singer/ songwriter. I saw her on an America’s Got Talent clip. Mandy lost her hearing when she was 18. Interestingly enough she has EDS which is similar to my connective tissue disorder.
On the show, she spoke about initially going to dark places. And when she decided she wanted more for her life, she wrote this song. And performed it in front of a live audience and judges and cameras.
She beautifully sings,
“I don’t feel the way I used to / The sky is grey much more than it is blue / But I know one day I’ll get through/ And I’ll take my place again… So I will try…
There is no one for me to blame/ Cause I know the only thing in my way/ Is me…
I don’t live the way I want to/ That whole picture never came into view/ But I’m tired of getting used to/ The day
So I will try..
Those words hold me when comparison tries to unravel me.
Forest Therapy: A Way Forward
If comparison is a thorn, forest therapy can be a balm.
The forest floor is messy. Layers of leaf litter, moss, dead wood. It doesn’t pretend to be clean and perfect. It is rich because of its imperfections.
Your struggles, limitations, pain give richness and texture to your life story—not flaws to hide.
Walking a path in woods, you may have to step over roots, navigate mud and stray branches. But each step gives you awareness, grounding, breathing space.
Comparison often makes us spin like leaves in the wind; forest therapy anchors us.
When comparison grabs tight, I go to the woods.
The forest does not compare:
Trees don’t measure their height against one another.
Moss doesn’t resent the ferns.
Streams don’t ask why the river runs faster.
Each element grows where it is, as it is. That is enough.
Roots, Rituals and Small Resets
Here are ways the forest has supported me:
Leaning against a tree and letting its rootedness remind me that I, too, belong.
Listening to the birds until my thoughts soften.
Sitting by water and imagining my comparisons floating downstream.
From Forest Floor to Open Sky
Yes, I still compare. Yes, it still hurts. But when I remember that comparison steals joy, I find space to choose something else.
I may not be in San Diego, or London, or even fully awake at 9 a.m. (to those who are, Have as good a time as possible, given that I’m not there. Heehee 😊)
~Life said nope 🙃🍋~
I can still offer kindness, presence, and love.
And maybe that is enough.
I want to feel good about my life. Not in the sense of “as good as anyone else,” but as my life, full of the shape I have.
Chronic pain is part of the soil I grow in. It’s changed what I can do, yes—but also deepened what I can feel, what I can appreciate.
If everyone else seems to be walking on sunlit paths, I may be walking in dappled shade, or in a different time of day. But my path is still mine, and still worthy. Because even in the shaded parts of the forest, light still filters through.
Outside the open window, the morning air is all awash with angels.
-Richard Wilbur
I am loving the sunshine today! It makes me so happy. Welcome to thighs- sticking- to- plastic- chair weather!
Today we are talking energy. When I talk about energy. The most common questions are, do you mean how much energy we have in a day? The energy in a space? Energy from the earth? The answer is Yes! It all goes together.
Energy: The Bright, The Dark, and The Dreadful
Everything has an energy to it. People have energy. You can tell when you sit beside someone that has a bad energy. Or a bright sparkly energy. Before they even speak.
Animals have energy. I understand that all dogs have good energy. Unless they take on the energy of their negative- energy owner. I can’t say the same about cats.
Even plants and nature itself hold an energy. It is positive flowing energy. That’s why we feel so good when we are in a forest. We can feel the good energy all around us. It permeates our bodies.
What to Expect—And What Might Just Surprise You!
Today I will be exploring why seeking to be a positive energy is so important. How to tell if you are stuck in a negative energy. Energy drainers, that we want to avoid, when possible. And energy givers. Those things we want to take in profusely. What does a healthy, positive energy look like? What do those people need to watch out for? We will discuss ways those with a negative energy can turn that around. Finally we will talk about how the forest helps and affirmations to protect your energy.
In essence, learn how to heal your energy, protect your energy, understand your energy. Plus, learn how to schedule your most relaxing hour. To bring your energy back up and regulate your nervous system. Stick around.
Your Positive Energy Is the Only Currency That Won’t Get You Audited!
Your positive energy is your greatest currency. Your family, your work buddies, your friends. They all seek it. Because good energy is contagious. Have you ever been around someone with infectious energy? You can’t help but feel a little lifted after being around them.
We all know the 11th commandment, thou shalt not let low- vibin- sketchy energy penetrate thine aura. Learn how to protect your energy. Fiercely. It is not selfish to do so; it is- self preservation.
The energy we seek to emit is embodied in the Bulgarian word, Ailyak. Based on the definition by theintrepidguide.com, it translates to, “The subtle art of doing everything calmly and without rushing, whilst enjoying the experience and life in general.”
Let’s talk about signs of being stuck in a negative energy. These are some of the signs. You will sense that you are struggling to set and achieve goals. That underlying sense of anger and frustration always being right under the surface. Having a general dislike of people. More than usual. One may have a sense of impending doom. Contention seems to follow you. A lack of mental and physical energy. When you do sleep it is anything but restful. Communication with others is difficult. Accessing concentration is a struggle.
This is an odd person for me to reference. But Brent follows HeavyD Sparks religiously. And we were listening to an older podcast of his the other day. I can’t find the actual quote but he was talking about negative feedback. When you hold two live microphones together you get a high pitch squeal. It will grow and grow until you take them apart. The same goes for a person with negative energy. When they enter a space, the energy shifts. And if they have another “live” negative energy seeker. The squeal gets louder and louder until we step away. I am not speaking only of people in this energy having an argument. That is one example. But more likely we get two negative energies together and they play off each other. They can begin by being upset with a cause or a circumstance. By the end of the conversation, that cause or circumstance is the scum of the earth! How dare they?
Where focus goes, energy flows.
You will have the opportunity to practice keeping your energy high and positive when negative energy enters your space. It is not easy. Keep in mind. You have an affect on those in your space for good or bad. Depending on your response.
What are some other things that are draining your energy? Do any of these apply to you?
overthinking
social media
gossiping
resentment
dehydration
clutter
poor sleep habits
negativity
skipping breaks
complaining
one- sided relationships
people pleasing
unclear boundaries
negative self talk
stress
worry
Such a jumbled mix of things. But they all, at times, have taken me to a place of anger or upset. If used inappropriately or as a form of avoidance these are all on my Do Not or at least Use Cautiously list. Overall, just a general violation of my own rhythm is what results.
Discovering Your Inner Sunshine: A Trove of Positive Energy
Now let’s flip it around and look for those things that feed us energy. The right things for us will always give us energy. That’s how we know they are good.
nature
fresh air
friends and family
inspiring music
hydration
movement
sun on my skin
whole foods
good sleep
creativity
dancing
hugs
doing something you love
meditation
positive thoughts
cold shower
Your energy is sacred. Like a delicate flame, it can be easily influenced by the winds of those around you. Build strong boundaries to protect your inner light, allowing it to shine brightly without being dimmed by the energies of others.
=Candice Erickson- Perham
Are you a person that has a high energy? Or some would call it a high vibration. I think of them as people who feel like sunshine.
Sunshine People: Natural Attractors
People are drawn to you. Kids and animals pick you out in a room. Strangers open up to you easily. You have the ability to shift the energy in a room. Toxic people are offended by your existence. It mocks their ability to control the mood. People are envious of you but they couldn’t exactly say why.
These types of people are like a magnet. They are highly sought after. These people are often the ones who are so worn out by their 40s that they are getting physically sick. Just an observation of mine.
What can these people do to protect their good energy? What should you do if you are one of these people?
take time to relax, restore, reflect
choose your battles
speak to yourself kindly, especially when emotions are high
remember you can step out of any social situation
ground yourself every morning (find rituals that bring that sensation)
reply to texts and phone calls when you have energy, not at the earliest possible moment
in an argument; remember what Brene Brown says,” I am not here to be right, I am here to get it right”
There is so much chaos and upheaval in the world today. This generates a lot of excess, discordant energy in our collective, human field. Make it a daily practice to clear your energy at least once a day. So much of whatever discomfort you might be feeling may have nothing to do with you. Protect your space accordingly.
-saratogaocean.com
Transforming Your Negative Energy: Steps to a Lighter You
What if you are the problem? If you are the holder of negative energy, are you doomed to be the destroyer of energy henceforth and forever? No. There are many ways to clear your negativity. You just have to be willing to take the steps. Including any of the following:
Practice gratitude with a guided meditation or start a gratitude journal
Breathing exercises e.g. box breathing (in for a count of 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, repeat)
Lie in the grass to absorb the earth’s energy
Burn sage to cleanse the air of negativity
Put on a song you love and dance
Go for a nature walk (barefoot if possible)
Take a shower
Visualization of negative energies draining away
Repeat affirmations to increase your good vibes
Bath in epsom salts to cleanse your energy
Be careful that you do not carry the burdens of other people. You are not in charge of any other person’s responsibilities but your own. You are not responsible for how someone responds to the boundaries you create. You do not need to worry about the emotions of another, be aware, but do not take them on. When you are deciding if something is worth your energy, make sure you are involved. Do not put yourself into the conflicts between others. That excludes your own children while they are under your care. Some of those conflicts you should definitely step in on.
From Shadows to Sunshine: The Forest’s Energy Shift
There are so many ways that the forest can bring you good energy. Just being able to see green spaces. A patient’s hospital stay time is decreased and they use less pain medication. Time in nature with trees reduces stress and brain fatigue. Physical movement is generally good for a body. At any level to start.
Did you know that just looking up at trees branches can increase alpha brainwave activity. Making us feel more relaxed and yet more alert. It has to do with the fractal patterns formed by the branches. Add a little glint of sunshine through them and my day is made.
Specifically speaking, pine trees are known for bringing peace of mind and for being a helper tree. It can calm a restless mind. Thoughts and feelings become more harmonious. Just being in contact with a pine tree can start this healing process. Or so “they” say.
Affirm Your Power: Protecting Your Energy with Positive Words
Affirmations seem like a silly practice to some people. But those who have tried it know the power in them. An affirmation is a positive statement. Starting with “I am” or something similar, to bring your energy up or in this case, to protect your energy.
I am rooted and grounded, I have all the support I need in this present moment
I am choosing to feel grounded, calm, peaceful and secure
I am the only one that gets to choose how I feel
When I feel overwhelmed I can pause and breathe
I choose the power to rise above negative emotions that are not serving me
I am strong, steady and grounded
I am a powerful, peaceful, abundant energy
I am in charge of my energy, I get to choose how I feel in every moment
I am always supported and protected
I appreciate my ability to remain calm and peaceful in all situations
Find your tiny happy things. like sunshine. Singing along with the radio. Talking to animals. Reading a book you love. Fuzzy blankets. Lunch with a friend. When you find someone as goofy as you. Yummy desserts. Choose to be uplifted by your tiny happy things. To constantly fill your tank.
Cynefin
(Welsh) a place where one feels it ought to live and belong. where nature embraces and whispers its welcome.
This is my unending source of good energy. Nature.
And now for the most relaxing hour! Drumroll, please.
One Hour to Recharge: Shifting Energy from Gloom to Glow
If you have an hour to yourself, this is one way to use it to bring your energy up and regulate your nervous system in the process.
Step 1: 5 min of a breathing meditation, guided or self led
Step 2: Listen to ambient music for 10 min. I highly recommend weightless by Marconi Union
Step 3: For 15 min just close your eyes, nap if you want or just rest your eyes and your brain
Step 4: Find a gentle way to move for 20 min. Yoga. Tai chi. Sway dancing.
Step 5: For the last 10 min write a list of things you are grateful for.
Such a simple list. The benefits are far reaching. Try to schedule an hour to yourself once a week.
Today: soak in what’s real and what’s real is unhurried. The ground. The air. The exhale. The planted seed. The shift. The season.
-Victoria Erickson
That’s all folks. I hope you can relate to some of what I am talking about today. If you are enjoying what you are reading, subscribe with the button at the bottom of the page. If you’d like to hear more about a specific topic, let me know. And if you’d like to go even deeper with me. Shoot me a message and we can find a time for a forest walk. Take care.
It is the month of June, The month of leaves and roses, When pleasant sights salute the eyes, And pleasant scents the noses. -Nathaniel Parker Willis
We have been the guardians and the healers of the forest. We have too long forgotten the magic powers of nature. The time has come to call on them again. Remember. All the magic of creation exists within a single, tiny seed.
-Magi Lune, Fern Gully
Today we will consider the role nature plays in regulating our nervous system. We will talk about the vagus nerve and how signals travel along it. How to use your senses to bring you back to a regulated state once you have left? Plus some ideas on how to deepen your connection with nature.
Balancing Act: Operating a Hyper, Hypo, and Regulated Emotional State
But first, 3 different accounts of two of my children and me. Each representing a spot on the window of tolerance. Hyper aroused. Regulated. Hypo aroused.
I have three children. So similar in some ways and vastly different in others. As young boys they kept me busy. I recently had the opportunity to read some stories of this other lifetime of raising my children. I share here two stories of two of these children to introduce my topic of the nervous system. See if you can follow my train of thought here.
We find our first young friend at the dinner table. He was never the type of child that could sit still for any amount of time. He isn’t capable of this as a grown young adult either. At the time of this story he was around the age of 6. We were finishing our dinner. When he proudly told me, “This is the first time I am not just eating hyperthetically.”
I knew there was a reason for the new word so I asked, “You usually eat hyperthetically?”
To which he replied, “Yeah, usually I’m all hyper and jumping around while I’m supposed to be eating, y’know, hyperthetically.”
Ah yes, just how all 6-year-olds should be. I loved my hyperthetic kid then and I love him now.
But when we live in a hyper state of arousal as an adult that looks different. Our bodies are constantly on the alert for danger. Every second of every day. When your body senses this hyper state which looks like anxious, hyper-vigilant, defensiveness and quick to anger or overwhelm. It goes into fight or flight. I might feel busy and productive in this state, but I am actually just spinning my wheels. It is not a happy for place for a nervous system to be.
Which brings us to our next story. Me.
When I am experiencing more pain than usual I go into a hypo state of arousal. In the fight or flight model, this is freeze or fawn. I feel drained. It’s harder to get to the gym. I just want to stay home and not see anyone. I have no motivation for anything. Every decision seems harder. All the stuff that was difficult before the flare is suddenly exacerbated. I remember all the things I have lost in my pain and lose track of what I have gained. I have to fight hard to find hope. I tend to withdraw from my social circles. This is also not a happy place for a nervous system to be.
Okay that wasn’t much of a story. But the next one is. And it’s the best.
Of my three boys, calm was not a common descriptor. But if you put them on a continuum of calm demeanor, this one would rank closest to calm. Not close to calm. But closest.
Different year. Different kid. Again, a sweet 6-year-old.
We find this one on the beach with cousins enjoying the sand and water. My mom looked over at one point to see him at a stand-still, ankle deep in the water. Just standing. It looked like he was pointing at something. We went back to chatting with one eye on him. It took some time for it to dawn on us that he was not moving. He was still standing there in the same spot. And still pointing.
With some concern I approached to see what was happening. It was then that I saw the dragonfly on his finger. This was not my biggest fan of bugs. So I was surprised that he was okay with this turn of events.
When I asked if he needed something, he calmly filled me in. The dragonfly got his wings wet. So he couldn’t fly away. But it was okay. He would just wait until they were dry and he could fly again. And he did. That sweet kiddo put aside everything that was important to him to calmly hold space for wings to dry. The simple yet crucial healing that was needed.
Do you live hyperthetically? Do you live in a state of underwhelm and dissociation? Or do you hold space for calm and finding the simple, effective tools that will support you?
The Vagus Nerve: Your Body’s Hidden Messenger
One of the podcasters I listen to, Neill Williams, said the other week, “You can’t out-think your nervous system.” Preach 🙌🏼!
A nervous system that is stuck in fight or flight is in frenzy mode. Taking all rhyme and reason out of our thinking and thereby our actions. Our result is a frenzied life. A nervous system stuck in overdrive is like a truck, stuck in Drive. Being in the gear that will get us where we need to go seems best. But when you need it to park or reverse, Drive is not going to be your answer.
We have all heard of the vagus nerve. It is the largest cranial nerve and it connects our brain and body. I would have thought that most of the signals run from our brain to our body.
But Williams taught me the science is showing that about 80% of signals traveling along that vagus nerve. Are going from body to brain. That means only 20% of the information is traveling brain to body! All the things I need to tell my body to do daily are only 20% of signals traveling that track. So for most of our lives we are receiving messages from our body to our brain.
This means I cannot positive-think my way out of a dysregulated nervous system. Or chronic pain for that matter, but that’s a topic for another post. A dysregulated nervous system cannot be solved by thinking. But it can be solved.
I don’t want to devalue the role of positive thinking. It has provided a means for wonderful things to happen in my life. It is one of the tools in my toolbox. Of highest priority though, are those things that will support a regulated nervous system. Because those are the things that create the greatest healing.
Heliophile- any organism that is attracted to sunlight
(ME)
I know I am in that space of a regulated nervous system when I feel present, grounded, empathic (with good boundaries), safe and authentic. I know that something is right for me and will not take me to dysregulation, when it gives me energy. I don’t feel the need to go seize everyday. I know that some will be seized by someone else. Some are not seize-able days. And some I can watch for the moment to seize without it costing so much effort.
How do I get to that space. Once I have left my window of tolerance. A wise woman asked, “Can I just spin into control for once, please?”
Unfortunately it won’t just happen. We have to make an effort. But the effort is not hard.
The spring is fresh and fearless and every leaf is new, the world is brimmed with moonlight, the lilac brimmed with dew.
Here in the moving shadows I catch my breath and sing-- my heart is fresh and fearless and over-brimmed with spring.
-Sara Teasdale
Now we will take a look at some of the benefits of forest therapy. Do you see a correlation, even if you don’t believe it is causation between forest therapy and a regulated nervous system?
Forest therapy:
lowers stress and anxiety by decreasing blood pressure, reducing cortisol rates and lowering heart rate
improves focus by restoring our concentration through meditation practices
strengthens the immune system by increasing production of NK cells thanks to phytoncides released by trees
regulates emotions by soothing and calming
improves mood through time spent in natural, green spaces which has been shown to reduce depression
A main theme in our forest therapy walks is connecting to nature through all our senses. I propose that you can use the forest to your advantage no matter what state you are in. The following chart lists our senses. And how we can use them to bring us back to regulation when we have become hypo or hyper aroused.
Sensory Perception
To go from hypo to regulated
To go from hyper to regulated
Tactile
feel the bark of a tree, walk on rocks, dig your toes in the sand
place your feet in a natural body of water, run your fingers through the grass, pick a smooth stone to hold in your hand
Vestibular
skip, run, dance, swing in any green space
float, slow and repetitive dance, gentle rocking
Proprioception
jumping, tight hugs, weights
balance exercise such as tai chi, stand on one foot
Auditory
listen to rhythmic and engaging music, playing instruments
go on a listening walk, use noise reducing headphones in public, listen to nature sounds
Visual
add light and colour, look for a variety of textures in nature
lower the lights or sunglasses, minimize clutter or go outside, focus on a single object
Olfactory
petrichor, the smell before and after a thunderstorm, pine needles, woodsy smells
rosemary, chamomile, rose, jasmine, basil
Gustatory
crunchy foods like nuts, intense flavours like pickles, carbonated drinks
mild flavours, smooth textures, comfort foods
Interoception
I find I need to eat as soon as I am hungry or I miss my window, having and insatiable need to sleep I try to use my awake time wisely
having healthy snacks healps as I tend to overeat in this state, using a regular sleep schedule helps keep me from staying up all night
Green was the silence, wet was the light, the month of June trembled like a butterfly.
What are some ways we can deepen our connection to nature, see how many you can do in the coming months:
Picnics- eating in nature brings an element of adventure, suppers in the field during harvest time are some of my best memories of my family eating together
Gardening- healthy for the way it keeps us active and also for the homegrown payoff
Unstructured outside time- this isn’t just for your kids, plan some time to just be outside
Pausing to appreciate- there is beauty everywhere, take time to notice and appreciate it
Camping- I love camping, I love being tucked up in my tent after spending way too much time in the sun and water, I can’t pin down what it is but camping will connect you with the earth
Of course there is always forest therapy!
If you feel like what you are learning on the blog is beneficial, I invite you to subscribe. But if you would like to go deeper. If you would like to find support in your healing from chronic anything. Reach out to me on my How To Get in Touch page to book a forest therapy walk. Forest therapy walks are for everyone. Any age. Any ability.
I’d love to hear what you are thinking about the blog. Shoot me a message anytime.
Today, me will live in the moment, unless it is unpleasant, in which case, me will eat cookie.
Blooms break forth from the startled earth. The sky laughs. The trees, abashed, dress themselves in verdant green.
-Rick Yancey
Embracing Your Inner Warrior and Cuddle Bug
Have you heard of fierce self compassion? I have been reading Dr. Kristin Neff’s books. I have learned enough that I think I can convey some of what she teaches. In her research on self compassion, Dr. Neff has become the expert in her field. She has an innate ability to speak to the individual. In a way that is both calming and empowering. I highly recommend her as an author. Her work can be found at self-compassion.org. Stick around to learn about self compassion. And to answer these questions: Why is self compassion significant in healing chronic pain? And how is forest therapy a good support for this type of practice?
Do you know anyone that would gain from a lesson in self compassion? Share this post with them. Hook them up with my social media. And then plan to attend a forest therapy walk together with them in the next week or two. We are so close 😄! Click below to see what forest therapy walks are available so you are ready to book.
Nurturing Self-Compassion Through Sensory Awareness
Self compassion comes in many forms. Tactile- running your fingers along the back on your arms, getting the right temperature, pressure from a weighted blanket. Something fuzzy or squishy. Visual- lower the lights in the evening and in a bath, candle light. playing with colors. Auditory- listen to the music or nature sounds that lift your soul. Olfactory- what EO scent helps you feel balanced. Gustatory- a multitude of options from water to ice cream to tea, find what fills this sense for you. In filling these needs for myself, I have noticed a growing sense of self compassion. And it has been a support to me in healing all things chronic.
Note: to me, healing and cure are not the same. healing gets me to a place of functioning. i do not expect a cure in this life. but i would take one if offered. healing takes time. and doing the right stuff. that’s what i’m talking about here.
Another sense that I didn’t realize existed until recently. And I really didn’t pay any attention to it at all. Is interoception. That is my ability to understand the signals my body is giving me internally. For example, hunger, thirst, feeling full, relaxing tense muscles and calming a racing heart. I ignored my interoception signals as a mom of young boys. I prided myself on being able to hold a full bladder all day. Getting to the end of a day and realizing I hadn’t eaten anything. Or had anything to drink. I had to train this sense to be felt again. I had tucked it away but it is important to the overall health and function of my body.
Bursting at the Seams: The Threat of Overcapacity
Another internal neighborhood watch, if you will, is paying attention to my capacity. Knowing it is less at this stage of my life. At home. I only need to take care of myself, I still have a capacity to take on more. I add my family and my home. I am getting up there but all is still well. I add service and church responsibilities. Almost at capacity. Once I hit capacity, I experience emotions like overwhelm. Irritability. Exhaustion. Anxiety.
To decrease the overflowing emotions I can stop taking on anything else until things normalize. I can take a close look at what I have taken on and get rid of non-essentials. I can find the people that have a capacity to support me. Hand them some of what is making me overflow. I can look at specific issues that are in the overflow and problem solve how to manage them. What is in my control and what should I do to have a positive influence on those things? Through it all I speak kindly to myself which also keeps the capacity from boiling over.
Achieving Balance: Three Wins for Success
Dr. Neff’s research has proven that to thrive and find a sense of wholeness in our lives. We need to find a balance between tender and fierce self compassion. In our tender compassion. We recognize that in accepting ourselves, we alleviate our own suffering. This type of compassion leads to inner healing. Our fierce self compassion alternatively, provides a springboard for taking action. We draw boundaries by learning when to say no. We recognize our needs and learn where to say yes. We are motivated in our growth to reach out and have an impact on our world and those around us. This type of change leads to outer healing. It all starts with that balance between tender and fierce self compassion.
Self compassion includes finding ways to meet our own individual needs. To provide for our needs we should set up our day to experience at least three wins. A physical, a mental and a spiritual win.
A physical win can look like a forest therapy walk! Drinking enough water. Eating nourishing meals and getting enough sleep. Deep breathing.
Mental wins can look like reading a book that inspires or educates you. Writing in your journal. Organize an uplifting playlist and enjoy. Or catch up on a podcast or TED talk that can get you to your next level. And here again we can list forest therapy as a mental win. Declutter a space or meditate to clear up some head space.
Spiritual wins are my favorite. Praying or setting intentions for the day. Hey, wouldn’t ya know, a forest therapy walk and spending time enjoying and appreciating nature also hits a spiritual win! Reflect at the end of your days.
The Power of Self-Compassion in the Chronic Illness World: A Gentle Uprising
Not Okay
I am not okay today. So, in the absence of okay, what can I be? I can be gentle. I can be unashamed. I can turn my pain into connection. I can be a student of stillness. I can be awake to nature. I can sharpen my empathy against the stone of my discomfort.
I am not okay. but I am many worthy things.
-Jarod K Anderson (the CryptoNaturalist)
Some nights, the soul weeps louder than the eyes ever could.
-Edgar Allan Poe
There is a weird phenomenon in the world of the chronically ill. It is the place of the in between. A place between too sick to function and not sick enough to get support. You almost puke but you don’t. Your muscles cramp so bad you almost can’t stand. But you can. You always have pain but it’s not always awful. There is no surgery that will fix it. There is no research being done on it. Because there is a lack of belief that this exists. You forget EVERYTHING, but everyone is forgetful. Your BP is low but not low enough to treat it. Your anxiety is high but they say just manage it. You want answers but doctors don’t think there is one. Have you ever wished you were more sick so you at least have the benefit of a desire for understanding?
Self compassion here says I am just the right amount. For today. I am sick and I can rest even if others don’t understand. I won’t puke but my nausea is enough to be gentle with myself. When my muscles cramp I will take care of them. When there is pain, no matter the level, I will not be upset. I can be tender and inquisitive.
☝🏼 A close look at how symptoms can come out of nowhere and knock you off the couch. ☝🏼
I DON'T LOOK SICK
I DON'T LOOK SICK, but my legs will often feel like wet spaghetti and will go numb and give out on me without warning.
I DON'T LOOK SICK, but I live with an intense deep exhaustion that makes every movement feel like I'm trying to move at the bottom of the ocean.
I DON'T LOOK SICK, but I suffer from an extremely sensitive heat intolerance that makes me feel light headed, ill and faint even in what feels like a normal room temperature to you.
I DON'T LOOK SICK, but my nerves often give me "phantom itches" that make me scratch myself raw at an itch that doesn't actually exist.
I DON'T LOOK SICK, but inside, my bones often feel like someone is using a jackhammer on them, especially during a change in weather.
I DON'T LOOK SICK, but if anything, even something little, stresses or worries me, my body rebels and symptoms flare up just for the fun of it.
I DON'T LOOK SICK, but it's extremely difficult for me to concentrate on anything, and as a result my memory suffers drastically.
I DON'T LOOK SICK, but the simplest tasks can take me 5 times longer and takes 5 times as much energy to finish that a "normal" person.
I DON'T LOOK SICK, but you'll never know the struggle beneath the surface.
I have been dealing with chronic pain for a while now. There have been weeks where all I could do was lay down. That leaves a lot of time for thinking. I know my thoughts can create my reality. So I want to be careful with them. Since learning this painful lesson I have seen my life blossom as a result.
Over the last few years I have seen my tears turn to blossoms of understanding. Self compassion and holding a space for myself at all of the stages of healing has been critical. At times I can look back and see tender self compassion. When the tears would flow. And I would be okay with it. I would not hold back. Other times I can see evident in my behavior the fierce self compassion that Dr. Neff talks about. Where I learned to set boundaries and how to recognize my own needs. To act for my own best outcome.
In motu, veritas: blooms after the storm. When have you experienced this type of growth?
When all I can see ahead are endless days of pain, I need to take a step back. I know in those times I am getting lost in the weeds of my thoughts. I find a better look out spot and get a sense of what is important. What is true. What is helpful. And the rest is weeded out. This is most likely to happen when I have not set myself as the priority and I need to recalibrate. Self compassion is the key to start the process.
I hope you find time to be happy. Not just strong.
-Louise Kaufman
Life with chronic pain is demanding. But with a combination of fierce and tender self compassion, balance is restored and hope is renewed.
So many days can feel like a struggle. Remember to find something to laugh about and someone to laugh with.
Maybe you could give me a hug and slowly loosen your hold and then you could tell me what my blood pressure is.
I just had a discussion with a friend the other day. We both excelled in school. Yet we struggle in life. Due to chronic illness. We had such high hopes being that we read significantly higher than our grade level. Surely that’s the number one marker for success in later life. This is regrettably not the case. Well that’s a fine how do you do!
The Wonder of Forest Therapy: A New Edge on Chronic Illness Relief
I love the idea of collecting sunsets. In a jar! What can you collect in your forest therapy this season? Campfire collection. Rainbow collection. Starlight collection. Wildlife collection. You can take a mental picture. Sketch it in a journal. Take an actual photograph or video. It does not need to be posted on social media to make it valid. This is your collection. Find what works for you.
When we go for a forest walk together I can offer invitations such as the following.
Forest bathe at sunrise or sunset. Find a good perch and invite the sun into the day. Or tuck it into bed at night.
Bring your journal and sketch any signs of spring that you see.
Dedicate a part of your walk to gratitude, what do you see on your walk that gives you a sense of gratitude
SUSURROUS (adj)- full of whispering sounds
Can you find a susurrous space that enhances your forest experience?
Personal Benefits of Forest Therapy and Self Compassion
I can not put into words the how or the why of forest therapy for pain relief and chronic illness. I can direct you to the work of Kristin Neff for the how and why of self compassion. And I can speak by experience that I am getting my life back as I practice both. As I learn and practice forest therapy. Is it worth the effort for you to try it? Perhaps you will get your life back too.
As we practice compassion for ourselves remember to be kind to one another. We never know what the other is going through. As women, our bodies and our brains go through a lot. Chronic illness, pain and fatigue are a lot. And we all have that one chin hair that we are locked in a lifelong skirmish with. Give each other grace. Enjoy the tale of this Grace 👇🏼 and her way to self compassion. And remember to laugh! Have a great week my chronic comrades!
Though winter is a brittle beast she snows pure soul in flakes so deep.
-Angie Weiland- Crosby
Despite my greatest efforts there are times I react emotionally. People are difficult and life can be challenging. But this reaction takes a toll on the body, mind and spirit. Especially my chronic comrades.
Minimizing Emotional Reactivity
All of us can attempt to minimize the effect emotional reactivity has on us. I do this by engaging in one or more of the following ten activities. In this post I share with you my top ten ways to minimize emotional reactivity.
These can be done in any order and in your own way and timing.
Breathe. Sit with your feelings and just let them hunker down for the moment. Then breathe some more to allow the feelings to pass. The effort of holding back emotions we don’t want to experience is worse than actually sitting with the feeling itself.
Be curious about what you are feeling. Question it. Where is the feeling in my body? What does it feel like? Burning. Stabbing. Twinging. You can even question, why am I feeling this way? See what answers come up.
This is a hard one. Try to look at things with an outside perspective. Stay open minded and be humbly objective. Perhaps there is something you would do differently given that new perspective. Mentally talking this through with yourself can be quite constructive.
Count to 30 before responding. It gives a chance for the nervous system to calm. This way, there is not a sudden action that you will most definitely regret later. It is healthier to act than to react.
I like this one. Practice self compassion and remember that we are all human. Sometimes we get it right and other times we get it wrong. That is part of growth and development. I choose to be in the arena where my life is advancing. And part of being in that arena is winning and losing. We can’t always win.
If you have the opportunity (not always an option in the moment) journal your thoughts, feelings and intentions. This will assist you in weeding out the opinions of others. Bring it down to you and what is happening in your brain.
“Maybe things are going perfectly”. I have shared this favourite mantra of mine before. It is powerful if you are open enough to believe it. These words and the space they create help me see a positive in even the most dire of circumstances. Maybe this disaster needs to happen for something really important to work out.
Do not judge your feelings. Feelings are human. We all have them. It is what we do with them that determines who we are. Be honest with yourself to see more deeply into your emotions. Stand back and notice. Name the feeling or emotion if you can.
Trust the process. (I saw a meme that said: Does the process know we are trusting it? Hehe) This goes along with #6, maybe things are going perfectly. But in this one there is an added belief that your higher power/ life has got you. That this life is for you and eternal success is your inherent right.
Stay in your own energy. As I write this list and this post I am currently in a squabble with my landlord. I am getting a chance to practice this very list. Here is something I am learning to be truly important. When I act true to myself, I can stay out of emotional reactivity. That can be difficult to do around certain personality types. Some people have such a strong energy. It is vital to take time to look inward and find our own energy and act true to that. Bending to the energy of others takes us away from our truth. And into emotional reactivity.
What else would you add to this list? What helps you come down from emotionally charged situations? Add your answer in the comments.
Having emotions is human. They are a fuse box for our individual experience. When tripped they alert us to danger and help us see where we need better boundaries. It is important to notice your emotions.
The next step, that so many people skip, is crucial. Use your logical brain to decide which parts of the emotion fit the facts of the situation. Don’t allow the emotion to take control of the situation. Use that higher part of your brain to determine how you will respond. Emotions do not give us the right to treat others or ourselves poorly.
My Top Ten Ways to Regulate My Nervous System Once I’ve Been Triggered
If, like me, there are still times in your life where you are unsuccessful, don’t worry. Even if all these steps have failed, there is a way back. Here is my top ten list of how to regulate your nervous system once it has been overloaded.
Exercise. If it is an option for you, get moving. To have the greatest effect you will need to get your heart rate up and your sweat on. This is great for any type of detox that your body needs. Including stress.
Listen to music. Up- level by having a playlist on your music app that is for moments like this. Choose soothing songs that speak to you.
Cry! I used to avoid crying. I thought it was weak and embarrassing. But now I understand it is just another way that our body is supporting itself. Crying releases stress.
Cuddle a pet. Animals are so great at accepting us wherever we are. If you don’t have your own pet, go cuddle a friend’s. Animals are generally emotionally regulated (unless that is challenged by their human’s behaviour). So if you allow your energy to shift to theirs you will find yourself coming back to yourself.
Progressive muscle relaxation. If you haven’t heard of this you can google it. Many meditations that I follow use this as a tool. Essentially you tense a muscle group. Starting in your lower extremities and then moving to the top of your head. So starting with your feet. Tense. Hold for a few seconds and then release. Move up to your lower legs. Tense. Hold. Release. And so on. Connect to your body.
Speaking of meditations. This can look different for all of us. It can be sitting quietly and breathing. Praying to connect to your higher power. Or listening to a meditation app. I highly recommend Insight Timer if you are looking for one to try.
Spend time with friends who get it. Maybe that’s family or maybe you need to schedule a day with your besties. I hope you have someone in your life that can let you talk it out. And help you get to the bottom of your emotions. A paid professional is always an option too. I, personally, think that we all need a therapist.
Hug your person. There is something about holding one another heart to heart that provides a space for compassion and healing. Okay so this one isn’t my favourite. But it’s one I’m working on. I see the value of it.
Get enough sleep. This seems silly when there are so many things vying for our time. And likely, you are a grown adult that can go to bed whenever you want. But getting at least 8 hours of sleep at night will greatly improve your chances of recapturing emotional regulation. And a higher probability of keeping it in the future.
I have it here as #10 but it is actually my #1. Can you guess? Forest therapy! Even in the cold of Saskatchewan, there are days and ways to get some nature time in. Bundle up. Pick your spot. And enjoy what nature gives freely. Given enough time, you will regulate your nervous system with forest therapy. If you’d like to learn more, subscribe to the blog and watch for all I have coming in the spring. You can also contact me with any questions about forest therapy. Ask me about how to use it for all types of healing.
These have all worked for me in the past. Sometimes I need to try one or two. Take time to consider what works for you. Perhaps you will need to try a few before your emotions start to fizzle as well.
I mentioned that I would get to how sensory overload is different for my chronic comrades. When our emotions are running high we tend to go into sensory overload. Does this sound familiar to you when you’ve been emotionally triggered?
Unfortunate equation: chronic pain + too much stimuli = more pain. Have you ever been so overwhelmed by seemingly minimal inputs but you can’t explain it to anyone? Like: The lights are on. People are talking. The music is playing on the tv downstairs. My bra is on. I suddenly have too much hair. And my teeth feel weird. What is wrong with you people? Isn’t everyone else suffering from all of this stimuli?
Never fear. All is well. We have a list of ways to avoid being emotionally reactive. We also have a backup list of what to do if those don’t work.
It’s okay to be sensitive. That’s what happens when you have magic in your heart.
-dannys_moments_poetry
That’s it for this week my friends. Take care of yourselves.
A great hope fell. You heard no noise. The ruin was within.
-Emily Dickinson
The purpose of this post is to encourage you. Do not enter the new year with those words of Emily Dickinson as your guide. It can be easy to over shoot in our plans for the celebration of this night. Followed shortly thereafter by overwhelm at the thought of executing our way through the year itself.
I posted the following on Instagram this week. As taught by Jack Cornfield. If you aren’t connected to me there, look me up @sunbeamacres. The pictures are from one of my more recent forest therapy walks.
Author Kristin Neff said,
We hold ourselves to unrealistic standards of perfection and then we judge ourselves when we don’t live up to them. The thing is, we aren’t supposed to be perfect. But we are supposed to transform.
Are New Year’s Resolutions For You?
Goals are great. But they don’t have to start at the beginning of the year. And when January 3rd comes around and you missed a day, it is not the end. You can actually try again. And here’s the kicker, you don’t even have to feel bad about it!
Shocking, I know
It can be overwhelming at this time of year to hear everyone talking about their resolutions. Especially if that isn’t your thing. (It does not have to be your thing, shh it’s a secret! Don’t upset the status quo.)
IF you are a goal setter. And IF you find renewed strength to try again at the beginning of the year, I applaud you. The rest of us will be over here attempting not to be intimidated and feel bad about ourselves around you.
We will just keep doing our best.
But where to start?
Suzuki Roshi said,
The most important thing is remembering the most important thing.
How do you know what your most important thing is? It will be different for you than for others. And it will change at various seasons of your life.
Intention
The word intention has become muddled in recent years. But if you think of it as where the compass of your heart is pointing. What is your intention for this year?
We get to decide. We get to set where the compass points. But what will be most transforming for us is to follow those glimpses and glimmers our heart is giving us. I suggest this is what lines us up to our true north. Set your compass to your true north for exponential transformation.
Mindful like a… Sniper?
If you were to sit mindfully to consider your upcoming year. What thoughts and ideas would you be open to find? Which brings up another muddle-y word of late. Mindful.
To be mindful is to be present, to see things clearly. But if that alone was the criteria then snipers would be the world’s most mindful people. If you were to picture a mindful retreat, are snipers the central figures? It confused AI. This picture would not generate without all the guns being pointed at one another.
Oooooohm. Does the process know we are trusting it?
To be mindful then, we are attempting to see clearly. AND we need to know why we are being mindful. There needs to be purpose. Your purpose at this time might be setting your intentions for the year. AND finally, we need to be aware of how we are paying attention. Is it with attitude? Or judgment? Pause to consider how that difference would affect your ability to be mindful. And in tune to the intention of your heart.
To put this all together. To define mindfulness. It is intentionally paying attention in a kind and open way.
Join me in intentionally paying attention. In a kind and open way. As we decide where the compass of our individual heart is pointing. To combat any New Year overwhelm.
A New Pattern to Transformation
I also suggest a new pattern, Instead of goal, success, success, fail, success, fail, give up. How about, Rhythm. Rest. Renewal, Restoration.
Your rhythm is your own. Are you familiar with your rhythm? It is your tempo. Your beat. Your movement. One must sit still, alone, long enough to sense their own rhythm. Where are you going too fast? Where do you need a more consistent pace? Find your rhythm. Sense it. Protect it.
Rest is healing. Rest is right. Rest is not lazy. Rest is not wasteful. Rest is often the most profitable thing you can do for your body and your soul. Rest is when growth happens. When you go to the gym and push your muscles. The fibers of those muscles sustain damage or injury. AFTER the workout, the body repairs those fibers by fusing them which increases the mass and size of the muscles. When we seek higher learning. We push our minds to take in and retain information. It feels like the information is going to start leaking out of our ears. There is hardly time to sleep. But in getting less sleep the ability to take in information is more challenging. In resting comes growth and renewal.
Renewal is to replenish. To make effective for an additional period. What if we take time to rest and are made more effective for an additional period? Instead of pushing ourselves to the brink and then resting. I am still learning how to do this myself. I have to keep going back to my rhythm. Not feeling pushed to match the rhythm of others around me. At this time of renewal of glad tidings. Of goals. Of generosity. Take time for renewal of yourself.
Restoration. To bring back into existence. To bring back to a former state of health, soundness or vigor. There are days I need to be brought back into existence. This can happen at the end of a long day or sadly, the very beginning. While my desire to have my former state of health is considerable. I will take any amount or form of restoration that comes from this pattern.
In a Nutshell
Set your goals within reach. Do not strive for perfection. Seek instead for transformation. Find YOUR most important thing. Sit mindfully to set the compass of your heart to know where and how the transformation can take place. Have your new pattern for this year be rhythm, rest, renewal, restoration. Find and protect your rhythm. Enjoy and seek rest. Recognize the renewal that opens to restoration. Rinse and repeat.
Chronic Comrades
My sweet broken- feeling chronic comrades. Chronic mental and physical illness, chronic pain, chronic fatigue. The following verse makes my heart both melt into it because somebody is speaking to my soul. While at the same time it cringes for what we have suffered.
Maybe one intention for the year would be to make peace with our “monsters”.
every night she sings lullabies to her burdens and fears because that's what has to be done. the monsters have to fall asleep before she can. -JmStorm
Know you are seen and understood comrades. Then work to diagnose and soothe your “monsters”-physical and mental, seen and unseen. In any way that works for you. Forest therapy is among the tools in your toolbox.
Crushing it…
My greatest intentions for the year will be in this forest therapy business. Stay tuned to see my rates, days & times, 6 wk starter packs, subscription boxes, etc. I am excited to finish developing and start sharing with all of you for the spring.
Take care my friends. I sincerely hope it is a Happy New Year.
I shall take my tea with the birds, the trees and the bumbling bees. – Amelia Dashwood
If you’d like to sign up for a guided forest walk with me, head over to my contacts page and we can connect. Alternatively, if you would like to know everything you need for your own beginner forest walk, just keep reading.
A step- by- step guide in how to take charge of damaging inflammation in your body. How to forest walk…
Decide where you will go for your forest walk. You do not need to travel to an ancient forest in Japan. Any green space will do. The closer to a forest/ treed area, the better. If you are going alone, make sure someone knows where you will be and when to expect you back. Check the weather but make sure you still go on your forest walk in the rain or the snow. Just be careful not to walk into the path of oncoming tornadoes, etc. Use your best judgement.
Unplug. If you would like to carry a device for emergency purposes you can place your phone on airplane mode for the duration of the walk. Any technical devices will interfere with the feeling you are trying to generate. Some people are sensitive to the energy emitted by such devices and it is nice for the body to have a break. This is the perfect opportunity. Unplugging will help you focus on the task at hand.
Before you start your walk take a few deep breaths and picture letting go of all your worries and discomforts.
It seems like an odd step to put in any type of instructions but next you should- wander. Just be. See what feels right. Don’t have a definite plan but prepare to be elated as you experience it fully in the moment.
Engage your senses. Your five senses are powerful and help you connect and ground yourself to the here and now. Notice what you are seeing. What different textures can you feel? Notice the sounds close by and the ones farther away. You don’t have to put a name to things. Just notice them and let them fade. What scents do you notice? Many forest bathers will prepare a tea made from foraged plants from their walk to incorporate taste and to host a ceremony with the forest as the guest of honor. Be careful to only use safe and edible plants for your tea. If you are unsure, please skip this option.
You do not need to wander far into your area. Find a comfortable sit spot. A place where you can more fully engage your five senses and search out more. Our sixth sense, able to sense something outside the scope of the five senses, was made popular with the movie of the same name. Vestibular (balance). Proprioception (sensing your body in space). Bring your mind and body into the here and now with breathing as you sit. Notice clouds, wildlife, patterns, light changes. Enjoy it all!
At the end of your walk take time for reflection and gratitude. Reflect on what you took in. Recognize the gift of nature. Show your gratitude and appreciation for what the forest was willing to share with you.
While we are discussing what to do on a forest walk, let’s also take a moment to talk about what a forest bath is not. Here are some myth busters to clear up some of the misconceptions out there.
Myth buster #1: Forest bathing is NOT having a bath in the woods!!! It is immersing yourself and all your senses in the atmosphere of the forest. No immersing in water. And we will all remain fully clothed at all times!
Nope
That’s more like it
Myth buster #2: Forest bathing is NOT going for a hike. It does not have to be far or arduous. Leave your hiking shoes at home.
Myth buster #3: Forest bathing guides are NOT witches. We are not trying to get you to join a cult or do anything nonsensical. We have optimized how to go into the forest for healing. Studies to prove its authenticity exist. My proof is in my own journey. I could not move forward. I was stuck in the same pain- filled cycle for years with no improvement. Now I can see my life changing for the better. While my condition is chronic and will never be healed, the symptoms and side effects are manageable when I use the benefits of forest bathing.
Myth buster #4: Forest bathing is NOT exclusively for the ‘outdoors’ type. All human beings will benefit from any time spent in nature. The more time, the better (an hour once a month is a good start). The more “green”, the better (any space you can get your feet on the earth counts, work towards finding secret forests in your area). Going with a guide will up- level your experience (but there are benefits to any and all attempts).
Myth buster #5: Forest bathing is NOT the same as formal therapy. I do not want to misrepresent what I am trained for in any way. Guides are not trained counsellors or therapists. I am not an expert in mental health diagnoses. We will not be working through past issues. We are staying in the present. My expertise as a guide is in dealing with normal, healthy human brains. Guides should view the forest as the therapists and themselves only as facilitators within the framework. Helping you to have your best possible life.
Here are some photos from my most recent forest walk.
The summer has been splendid, but it has lasted long enough. This morning, I viewed the falling leaves with cheerfulness. -A. A. Milne
Take care my friends. Enjoy stepping into fall on your next forest walks.
In the 1980s, through the national health program in Japan, was introduced the art of Shinrin- Yoku or forest bathing as it is known in English, to help workers reduce stress. The negative effects of stress were starting to rear their ugly head. Heart conditions, high blood pressure, a rise in auto immune disease. Doctors pointed sufferers to the forest for help. The forest has many healing qualities and Japan was learning how to harness them and how to offer it to others. These sufferers were willing to try anything. Are you there? Do you feel like you’ve tried everything? With a forest therapy guide to get the most benefits, forest bathing is still proving most effective today. 2/3 of Japan is forest. Some of the most beautiful in the world. Doctors even started prescribing it to those with stress related disease. Doctors in Japan recognized how many people had become disconnected from the earth. While our ancestors slept on the ground and ate food grown from it and walked around on it with nothing to stop the negative electrons flowing into their bodies, those in modern day Japan were far from this description. The effects of this disconnection are not isolated to the eastern hemisphere. Our world is highly toxic and the earth offers a way to heal from the negative effects. In an effort to connect the people around me back to the earth, I prescribe it to you today.
Forest Therapy or Forest Bathing, the literal translation of the Japanese term, Shinrin Yoku is what I want to tell you about. The art of going into the forest for healing. There are various understandings of the term. But in all the research I have done it has nothing to do with bathing as you might be picturing the use of the word. No rubber ducks. No shower caps. And everyone is to be fully clothed!!! At all times!!! The relation to bathing is only in the way that when you have a bath you are fully immersed in the water; forest bathing helps you fully immerse yourself in the forest or absorb the forest atmosphere. That is where healing begins.
Forest bathing can be defined as making contact with and taking in the atmosphere of the forest. With all the physical, mental and spiritual benefits of forest bathing, you also gain access to other tools here that can be used to generate and accelerate healing. These are the tools I have learned and developed into my own routine. I’ve tried so many suggestions, through decades of pain. This is the first non-medicated thing that has consistently helped me.
Studies have shown that there are a myriad of health benefits to being in the forest. Some of these benefits include lowered concentration of cortisol, lower pulse rate, lower blood pressure, lower blood sugar levels, greater parasympathetic nerve activity, and lower sympathetic nerve activity when compared to being surrounded by city environments. Being in the forest is great. Bathing yourself in the forest is even better. I can show you how in future posts!
The forest therapy I offer is a combination of forest bathing, silence, (doesn’t everyone know how to do that? what if someone else is disrupting your silence? what if the silence feels awful?) grounding, and more. I will explain all of these in further detail in later posts but for now I just want to get the overall idea out there.
As with all programs this one has its side effects. Unfortunately, with these tools in place you can reduce the symptoms for anxiety, depression, anger, increase your concentration and memory, boost your immune system, (an increase to NK cells) improved quality of sleep, reducing fatigue and confusion and an overall improvement to your mood. Increased positive and decreased negative feelings. No weight gain or facial paralysis hiding at the end of the list over here.
I want to be clear. I would never tell anyone to stop taking any medication without talking to their doctor. Some are necessary and life saving. And I myself have not reached the point with my condition to stop all medications. We all start from where we are and carefully move forward. When it comes to medical areas, talk to your doctor. If you have a mental crisis, talk to a mental health care professional. If you feel you are in spiritual crisis, talk to a religious leader or friend. What we are talking about here, my target audience, is those who are living their lives and functioning- adjacent and I can help take them to an even better life with the tools I offer. Ideally a life with less pain.
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Now. What if you live in the city? This is the beauty of forest therapy. You can create an atmosphere of forest bathing within any natural environment. The more natural, the more you can accomplish. Yet every grounded plant, spot of grass or tree can offer benefits to the most diseased among us.
Join me by booking your walk over on my contact page.
That’s it my sweet friends. Allow me to show you the way.
SUNBEAM ACRES 