Tag: health

The Deep Tones of Silence

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My home runs at a low hum of constant, somewhat- organized chaos. My dad says it is slightly louder and busier than a train station. There is literally someone awake at all times of the day and night. You can find someone doing laundry at 2 am or making a meal at 4 am. This morning it was popcorn at 7 am for some hungry soul. To put this in perspective I’d like to point out that I live with young adults not toddlers.

It is so hard to find quiet these days. And almost impossible to find silence. Even on some of my forest walks there are trains around or traffic driving by. I’m finding out that silence is aided by a quiet environment but not required and not really what silence is about.

When I’m silent on a forest walk it is a body, mind and spirit kind of quiet. There may be noise around. I can initially recognize and be ok with its effect. I tend not to notice it much after that. The silence goes much deeper.

I can offer suggestions here, but to get the most out of silence or forest walks, head over to my contact page to book a walk with me. We take small groups out for any age or ability level.

To quiet your body may be to continue to walk but to focus on slowing your breathing and relaxing your body. It may be stopping to sit on a bench or the ground. It may be leaning on a tree for a bit. Find what works for you.

To quiet your mind is to breathe deeply. Count your breaths. Focus on what you see and not on thinking of the past or the future. When we stay in the moment we can relax. When we think of the past, we ruminate on things we can’t change. When we think of the future we worry about upcoming events. Focusing on what is beautiful and currently happening around you is calming. If you start to notice your thoughts drifting, don’t despair, that’s actually what brains are programmed to do. Just bring your thoughts back. Don’t be frustrated with your train of thoughts that keep derailing, just pick up the pieces and carry on down the track.

To quiet your spirit is a deeper level of peace. It is knowing who you are. It is having a connection to something bigger than yourself and being able to trust in that relationship. It is being your genuine, authentic self, and loving it. It is recognizing that some things are out of my control and that’s ok.

Chronic pain leaves a person feeling so out of control. I expect we each go on similar paths through the stages of grief. Can you can see yourself or your loved ones in these stages?

I was in denial for years. I knew I was in pain. I knew it was constant. I knew it had been ongoing for years. I knew it wasn’t going away anytime soon. But at a physiotherapy appointment, when my therapist looked at me and told me that’s chronic pain, I was shocked. No! Let’s not be silly. I’m not someone who should be labelled as a chronic pain sufferer, At times it wasn’t that bad. Some nights it didn’t even keep me up. For some reason I thought no matter how bad it was getting, someone else was worse off so my experience wasn’t valid.

For so long I felt angry about pain. I felt like it was in the way of trying to raise my boys. In the way of playing the piano. Of working. Of being me. Of using and sharing and developing my skills. It was maddening to think of how young I was and that no matter what I did, I could not strengthen my muscles.

I bargained. If I am so careful the rest of the year, I should be able to knee board a couple of times a year. If I don’t bend my back at all, scar tissue will form and hold me together until my muscles work again. If I don’t care about anybody or anything, I won’t be upset when it also is inevitably taken from me. Do you hear the depression building?

When I finally came to terms with the fact that this may be the best I can ever feel, I hit another rock bottom. Depression. To recognize this was what my body would always be meant letting go of dreams and goals. For the rest of my mortal existence. That is a hard pill to swallow. I was not able to rise up following this crushing realization. I could see that’s what I needed to do but I was stuck. I kept telling myself to get out of the pity party. To carry on even though things were hard. Just like I always had. But. I. Could. Not.

Acceptance is when I realized this may be the best I will ever feel but… here’s my but list (you know what I mean). I may not ever be pain free but- I can still move. I am finding therapies that work for my body. I see my boys learning things they would not have learned had I been pain free all these years. I would never have found forest therapy otherwise. You see what I mean. I may need to let go of some dreams but I can make new ones or adjust the old to fit this me. I can see things I am grateful for in this mess. I now know that my pain does not make other people’s pain invalid. The same way their pain does not play any role in how valid mine is. I can hold space for someone to feel pain. It may not be constant like mine. Or frustrating like mine. But pain is pain. A person in pain needs someone to hold space for them to go through these stages, I suspect it may be the only way to acceptance.

And that’s where we all want to be for any up or down in our life. Acceptance. That’s it my sweet friends. Work towards acceptance in all areas of life. And when you’re stuck, come see me in the forest. I’ll be here.

What’s the Rush?

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I’m reading a book by Dr. Libby Weaver. She describes what she calls Rushing Women’s Syndrome, also the name of the book. She says, “Rushing Women’s Syndrome (RWS) describes the biochemical effects of always being in a hurry and the health consequences that urgency elicits.” Ironically, I’m listening to it on double speed because I have to get it done!

Photo by Paweu0142 L. on Pexels.com

I see so much of myself in this description of a rushing woman and I wonder if you do as well. Dr Weaver says, “Imagine if you will RWS in action. It doesn’t seem to matter whether she has 2 things to do or 200. She’s often in a pressing rush to do it all. Wound up like a spring, she runs herself ragged in a daily battle to keep up. There is always so much to do. And she very rarely feels like she wins, is in control or gets on top of things.” (Can I get an amen? 🙌) “In fact her deep desire to control even the smaller details of life can leave her feeling out of control even of herself. Overwhelmed at times she feels like she can’t cope whether she admits it out loud or keeps it all inside adding to her wound up knotted stomach… Most women with RWS suffer terribly with their periods or don’t bleed regularly. Women who go into menopause in this state usually find it debilitating.” Next on the page should be a picture of me. Mid hot flash.

Does any of this feel familiar to you? I see myself in every detail. But that was past me. Now I recognize what it did to me and I would do anything to help even one soul from experiencing what I have. To turn someone back at the gate of being rushed to death.

Dr Weaver continues, “The majority of rushing women are wired and typically get very weary in the late afternoon to early evening but if they stay up after 10 pm they often get a second wind and it is then very hard to go to sleep until 1 or 2 am.” Holy smokes, yes. This is me, spot on. Does she have a live stream of my life? For real, where are the cameras? I had no idea this wasn’t just me.

If you are interested, she has a checklist to see if you are a rushing woman. I was not surprised when, based on who I was, I scored off the charts. If I were to add it up based on me today it would not be zero but it would be significantly better. From what I have read so far I would recommend this book to anyone feeling rushed.

Being a woman that was in a rush for everything, I know when Dr Weaver says it affects our nervous system, our endocrine system and the digestive system, she has seen first hand what I have experienced. I can hold my hand to the sky to bear my witness that not only does it affect these systems, it will squeeze the life out of those systems first. Watch for an overloaded nervous, endocrine or digestive system as these are hard to recover once they are pushed past a certain point.

I look forward to learning the tools and answers that will be presented in the book by Dr Weaver. I am always looking for what is next or what to add to my healing practices. I’m only on chapter 4 so if you’re also interested in her answers, you will need to purchase the book yourself.

But I feel blessed to have my own tools. I know Forest Therapy is a key part of healing for me.

Have you ever stood in front of rushing waters? I love to watch waterfalls or streams. If you have access to something of the sort I invite you to try this practice. Even laying in bed and picturing it will give you some of the benefits. Face the water as it runs towards you. Hear it. Sense the power, even if it’s gently moving. Picture the rush and the busy and the tension of your life letting go, let the water take it away. Allow the water to wash clean all the areas that have not been working and are taking their toll on you and your family. Let it go. Steady now, don’t burst into song on me.

Next shift your focus. Look at the source of the running water. As far as you can see the source. Picture it bringing you all the energy, peace, and guidance you need. My source is Jesus. Yours may be the earth. Family. But there is a source for all of us that is available to heal the physical, emotional and mental damage that’s been done. There is a way to better health starting at any age and any ability level. It will guide you to a better life. The one you pictured as a young child. Was it bright and beautiful? Mine was. And now I found it again. The forest has many healing measures. You just need a guide to help you find them. Head over to my contact page if you want to know more about booking a forest walk with me.

My sweet, tired, rushed friends, join me in the forest.

Miracles and Bellybuttons

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Aren’t miracles wonderful? Wouldn’t you like to be able to experience them all the time? What about bellybuttons? How, you might ask, do they relate? Don’t get ahead of me.

It all started the other day when I was discussing the miracle that it was to be able to get the house that is perfect for us to live in, when we are living in such a crazy rental market. We needed so many boxes checked. A room for each person (except the married people, they have to share). West side, we like to live on the edge, ha! It had to have a yard, we couldn’t go from a farm yard to no yard. And we check all the bad boxes as far as renters are concerned. Young adults, check. Baby, check. Dogs, check. But, one might ask, are those dogs impossibly massive? Yes, check. The market here is such that you put in an application and wait to hear back. Not surprisingly, we were not hearing back. Then suddenly we were being offered this place by someone we didn’t know, which fit our needs. I call it our miracle home.

Then, my 18 month old grandson lifted his shirt to show his bellybutton and to show us all how marvelous it is, he gasped and paused for effect. To him, his bellybutton is a miracle. The fact that other people will stop and be as fascinated as him is a miracle. Hugs and kisses are miracles. Bubbles are miracles. Snow is a miracle (even when the rest of us are done with it). There are little miracles around him all day long. Because his little mind chooses to see it that way. Granted he doesn’t have the junk that life piles on since he’s only been on earth for a short time. He has a loving mom and dad and extended family that are caring for him and allow him the space to see the miracles.

What if you felt that type of calm, that you could see the miracles in everything around you? Like how cool it is that we have belly buttons and what an important role that spot played at one time. That we all have the opportunity to learn and grow and create. That we are living, breathing humans with thinking minds. That we can clear the junk that life piles on us.

Forest therapy is one way I clear away the noise. I feel calm. I can come back to life and recognize the many miracles that are happening around me constantly. It quiets my body and soul. It slows me down. I connect to my higher power in the forest. To me, that’s God. I know Him as my loving Father in Heaven. You may call Him something else but I expect we can all feel closer to that higher power in the forest. I know all my miracles are orchestrated by Him. What do you think? Where would you say your miracles come from? Maybe that’s something you want to ponder on a forest therapy walk. Join me by heading over to my contact page.

What are your bellybutton miracles? Those things that have been in place or prepared all along and all you had to do was find something seemingly normal, stop, gasp, pause for effect, and recognize the miracles that are all around.

Ok my sweet friends, enjoy your many miracles!

The Unhealthy State of Women’s Health

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From where I stand, I see a lack of research, understanding and basic human compassion when it comes to women’s health issues in our current system.

My first experience where I can look back and see that lack in my life was when my oldest son was under a year old. It was the middle of the night and he and my husband were asleep. I was on the floor of the bathroom trying to figure out why I was in so much abdominal pain. Something felt seriously wrong. I had never had this type of pain, let alone something that would put me on the floor in the fetal position. I called my mom and she suggested going in to get checked. I woke up my husband and he grudgingly woke up our son and we all got in the car.

We sat in the ER for way too long and eventually I got into a bed. They did a quick history, took some blood, listened to my guts and declared:

I had gas.

Are you kidding me? Gas is what felt like it was killing me slowly? I felt so foolish for putting my husband and son through an overnight party that nobody wanted to attend. For gas. I didn’t go to the doctor much after that. Unless I knew what it was and how they would be able to treat it. I suffered through a lot due to the embarrassment of that experience.

But it wasn’t just gas. Now I know I was developing severe endometriosis and likely due to the hormone changes of pregnancy and nursing, my symptoms were exacerbated. But nobody can see or diagnose that. So they say it’s gas because then there is an answer. An easy answer that ends their responsibility to care for me. I probably did have gas. But around organs so inflamed I never wanted anything to touch my belly for years after. I thought that was normal. It’s just gas!

After years of working around the issue I finally made the call to have a hysterectomy to end the pain and other issues the endometriosis had caused by having so much scar tissue and thick linings after years of neglect.

Now I am the owner of a body that cannot regulate its temperature. So that’s fun. After my hysterectomy I knew I could not take hormone replacement therapy. When I used it in the past it loosened my muscles. This is a bit of an issue with my body since my ligaments don’t work unless they want to. Muscles are what hold me together. When I take HRT I become the bendiest of noodles.

When I told the doctors I couldn’t take the hormone replacement medication, they literally laughed at me and said, ‘yes I would’. They guaranteed I’d be back for it.

They knew what I was in for and I was clueless. But I did not sense compassion. There was no seeking out another way for me due to my circumstances. There was just a sense of, you have no idea what you are in for, haha. Menopause has always seemed something to keep under wraps but also to laugh at the ridiculous nature of those sufferings its effects. It would have been encouraging to see a doctor offer a direction, instead of only relying on their basic training and rolling their eyes at my arrogance at denying their prescription.

I was in for temperatures rising so much in the first days that I honestly thought my butt was on fire when I sat on our leather couch. For those blessed not to have experienced such things, a hot flash is not something to look forward to. I thought it might be seeing as I’d been cold since the age of 12. I was wrong. I’m still cold. And then I’m so hot I have to take off layers and sit down and I sweat. Then I cool off and I’m soaked. These days it’s not so bad but in the early days, I’d have to stop everything and lean on something and breathe through it like a contraction. But there’s no baby at the end so that’s always disappointing. I couldn’t sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time. Again like having a newborn but I did not smile down in love at my lack of uterus to counter the side effects as you would a baby. This went on following my recovery from surgery and for the entire next year. To say this had an affect on my health is an understatement. I still sweat like the guy in red on Star Trek. Thankfully, other symptoms are not as extreme.

I hope in years to come, more resources will go to women’s health issues since we are half of the population. An important half if I do say so myself. And as we knew all along, and as it has been recently confirmed, we are actually equal to our male counterparts. Make some space, Fellas!

Until such a time as all systems and doctrines catch up to that truth, my suggestion for this week is to build your team. I saw doctors for years before I’d get fed up with them and then take more years before I’d get the energy up to start finding a new one.

Now I make sure that I am getting my time’s worth out of a doctor. Some are worth my time and energy and some are not. But this is not the end of my team. I have a counsellor, a marriage counsellor, an energy massage therapist, a physiotherapist, a reiki therapist, a holistic health professional, a functional medicine doctor and an integrative medicine doctor. I am always keeping my eyes and soul open to other options. Although, I am finding the more I am in the forest, the less I need each of these professionals.

Whatever your pain. Whatever your limitations. You are worth someone taking the time to show compassion and slow down their day enough to think about you in your doctor office time. There are such doctors out there. I went to a walk- in clinic and while prescribing my routine medication I had inadvertently run out of over Christmas break, this extremely busy minor emerg doctor stopped what he was doing to ask if I had any joint pain and if that’s why I was taking this particular med. A conversation ensued which ended with him sincerely saying he wished me well and hoped I’d find some answers. He would be on my team if I needed a family doc.

Keep going. Keep sharing your story. Find peace in the forest and answers will emerge.

If you are interested in joining me for a forest therapy walk, head over to my contact page to book in.

Take care out there, my sweet friends!

What is Forest Therapy

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In the 1980s, through the national health program in Japan, was introduced the art of Shinrin- Yoku or forest bathing as it is known in English, to help workers reduce stress. The negative effects of stress were starting to rear their ugly head. Heart conditions, high blood pressure, a rise in auto immune disease. Doctors pointed sufferers to the forest for help. The forest has many healing qualities and Japan was learning how to harness them and how to offer it to others. These sufferers were willing to try anything. Are you there? Do you feel like you’ve tried everything? With a forest therapy guide to get the most benefits, forest bathing is still proving most effective today. 2/3 of Japan is forest. Some of the most beautiful in the world. Doctors even started prescribing it to those with stress related disease. Doctors in Japan recognized how many people had become disconnected from the earth. While our ancestors slept on the ground and ate food grown from it and walked around on it with nothing to stop the negative electrons flowing into their bodies, those in modern day Japan were far from this description. The effects of this disconnection are not isolated to the eastern hemisphere. Our world is highly toxic and the earth offers a way to heal from the negative effects. In an effort to connect the people around me back to the earth, I prescribe it to you today.

Forest Therapy or Forest Bathing, the literal translation of the Japanese term, Shinrin Yoku is what I want to tell you about. The art of going into the forest for healing. There are various understandings of the term. But in all the research I have done it has nothing to do with bathing as you might be picturing the use of the word. No rubber ducks. No shower caps. And everyone is to be fully clothed!!! At all times!!! The relation to bathing is only in the way that when you have a bath you are fully immersed in the water; forest bathing helps you fully immerse yourself in the forest or absorb the forest atmosphere. That is where healing begins.

Forest bathing can be defined as making contact with and taking in the atmosphere of the forest. With all the physical, mental and spiritual benefits of forest bathing, you also gain access to other tools here that can be used to generate and accelerate healing. These are the tools I have learned and developed into my own routine. I’ve tried so many suggestions, through decades of pain. This is the first non-medicated thing that has consistently helped me.

Studies have shown that there are a myriad of health benefits to being in the forest. Some of these benefits include lowered concentration of cortisol, lower pulse rate, lower blood pressure, lower blood sugar levels, greater parasympathetic nerve activity, and lower sympathetic nerve activity when compared to being surrounded by city environments. Being in the forest is great. Bathing yourself in the forest is even better. I can show you how in future posts!

The forest therapy I offer is a combination of forest bathing, silence, (doesn’t everyone know how to do that? what if someone else is disrupting your silence? what if the silence feels awful?) grounding, and more. I will explain all of these in further detail in later posts but for now I just want to get the overall idea out there.

As with all programs this one has its side effects. Unfortunately, with these tools in place you can reduce the symptoms for anxiety, depression, anger, increase your concentration and memory, boost your immune system, (an increase to NK cells) improved quality of sleep, reducing fatigue and confusion and an overall improvement to your mood. Increased positive and decreased negative feelings. No weight gain or facial paralysis hiding at the end of the list over here.

I want to be clear. I would never tell anyone to stop taking any medication without talking to their doctor. Some are necessary and life saving. And I myself have not reached the point with my condition to stop all medications. We all start from where we are and carefully move forward. When it comes to medical areas, talk to your doctor. If you have a mental crisis, talk to a mental health care professional. If you feel you are in spiritual crisis, talk to a religious leader or friend. What we are talking about here, my target audience, is those who are living their lives and functioning- adjacent and I can help take them to an even better life with the tools I offer. Ideally a life with less pain.

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Now. What if you live in the city? This is the beauty of forest therapy. You can create an atmosphere of forest bathing within any natural environment. The more natural, the more you can accomplish. Yet every grounded plant, spot of grass or tree can offer benefits to the most diseased among us.

Join me by booking your walk over on my contact page.

That’s it my sweet friends. Allow me to show you the way.

Forest Therapy: How I Manage My Chronic Pain

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I have talked with too many women who, like me, are currently dealing with daily, chronic pain. And due to years of suffering with no exact source that can be named or found they now picture themselves in a life story where they have been written off as weak of character because of the limitations of their body, mind or spirit. They have lost themselves to the pain and are running on empty. Have you also felt misunderstood or so very small while trying to seek understanding and support? To the point you feel it’s not worth the effort anymore?

This has been my experience.

As a society we have benefitted immensely from the study and practice of western medicine. I know phenomenal healthcare workers. We need more people like them. They are fabulous at their jobs. Sadly, that world of medicine has not held the resolutions I needed. Through my experience I have learned, western medicine is not the only answer.

I don’t fit a simple diagnosis. I have extreme hyper mobile joints. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I’m not an easy fix. And yet, contrary to popular belief, my pain exists. Doctors don’t know what to do with me, so the answer has been to live with it. Manage the symptoms and put up with pain.

But my body decided that wasn’t good enough and it started to shut down on me. Since that time, I’d like to say I started listening. But I’m a mom that had stuff to do. Luckily, MY mom noticed and made me pay attention. She literally saved my life. (Thanks Mom!👍) She has led me to the resources and health care team that I need, not only to survive but to thrive.

One method of healing that has been of great worth to me is the practice of grounding. I will go into greater detail in later posts but the idea is to connect to the earth and access its healing properties. To take this to even greater benefits, one should connect with nature on all levels. Physical, emotional, social and spiritual. Through taste, smell, sight, sound and touch. This method I will explain, is one I have found of greatest advantage, lowest cost, and gentle enough for even the most unhealthy and toxic ridden among us.

I promise I’m not crazy, new age, or trying to convert you to a cult. Stick with me here.

All I know is that somewhere in my great efforts to learn and practice grounding and other methods, I started to hope that there was a better life ahead and I was worth this campaign to come back to life. The aggravating pain started to subside. I could see what was helping me and how it could help others. All this led to the decision that it is worth the daily grind. Nobody could do this for me. I was ready to find relief. It came in the form of forest therapy.

For years now, I’ve been on a journey to find better health for myself, most recently, through grounding and now forest therapy. Actually, until not long ago, it’s been less of a journey and more of a marathon. With mudslides and hurricanes. And zombies and ninja mice (I hate mice). Sometimes I’m on a roller coaster, sometimes circling another drain. And yet, in the marathon, I have met some of the best people and found healing in the places and ways I least expected. And although some days it has taken all the energy of my soul, I dare say I’m stronger now. A strength like the intertwining roots of a forest, each piece of knowledge entangled with the next. Holding up what I have come to recognize as great worth to me.

Doctors have tried to help me find answers. In that effort there is more pain. The physical pain I saw coming. The emotional pain would come out of nowhere and slap me in the face. I have experienced months of waiting to see a specialist who I hoped would have the answers and instead, I was asked why I even came to see him as my condition has nothing to do with his specialty. ‘Sir, I can’t even pronounce your specialty. And btw I’ve been putting all my hopes on this. Holding to the faith that something can improve. But thanks for your diagnosis of don’t- let- the- door- hit- you- on- the- way- out.’ On another occasion I was told there is nothing doctors can do if I don’t want to take the medication (they literally laughed at me and said I’d be back for it), as though I’m an obstinate child and not a woman that knows my body and how it will react. One time in a first ever patient-doctor interview, after giving him some basic symptoms, he jumped to erroneous conclusions and told me if I wasn’t going to get up off the couch he couldn’t help. I was going to have to make an effort 😒. He had no idea the efforts I’d made. I hope he’s had a chance to rethink his bedside manners. On leaving a doctor’s office I heard the heartbeat in another room where a mom-to-be listened and my heart crumpled with the memory of when that was so recently me. In the days before my miscarriage. Instead, I was the woman walking out after a miraculous pregnancy that ended suddenly without any medical reason after 10 years of trying. That tiny one and all the joy of having another baby quietly slipped away one morning. I have had surgery after surgery and medication after medication offered as the best and only solution. I have made up my mind. I don’t want to live this way anymore. I want to practice what I’ve gained in going into the forest.

I call this blog Sunbeam Acres, if you go down in the woods today…

I hope I have rays of light to share with you that will brighten your day. Bright little idea babies that you can take and turn into whatever works for you. My ideas will connect you to the forest and to your roots.

Sunbeams take me to my roots. In our church I sang Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam. That beloved song that sends 3 and 4 year-olds flying off their chairs in a most irreverent fashion. I like things that take me to my roots.

Trying to take care of my body could be compared to trying to catch a sunbeam. It seems like a particle of dust floating around that I can never quite grasp. I have grown in understanding my body and how to make it work for me. Instead of running after all the sunbeams I have allowed them to come rest on me. I hope my thoughts can warm you to your soul like sitting on the damp leaves on a quiet summer morning looking into the acres of forest around you, each tree representing a possibility for your life. You can let my thoughts float around you and see what lands. Some particles instantly disappear into your being because they’re right for you. Anything that’s incorrect for you can float on past. We don’t have to agree on everything to be friends here 😁. Each of us will have a different journey into our own metaphorical forest.

My condition has taken me to dark places. where I have yearned for anything that offered the smallest ray of light. This blog is an effort to stave off the darkness for myself and reach through my own canopy of doubt, for the light others have to share. I will share what I have learned as I have gone out into the forest. You are welcome to sit back and learn or to join me in a forest walk of healing.

I offer validation for anyone who may be suffering with daily, unexplained pain that cannot be treated or found. Hear me now, you are important enough to do whatever you need to do to have your best quality of life. It is worth the effort. There is hope. You are worth the time and when you don’t have the energy, seek support.

And for anyone who knows of my struggle and has ever asked me, So, what do you have? Are you feeling better yet? Or even, What are your symptoms? and I gave a blank stare or a stammered response that’s somewhere between scripted and implausible, this is the whole answer. It’s gonna take me an entire blog to explain myself and how to use the forest and all of nature, that is available to you, to take your own healing to the next level.

With the knowledge I pass on you will hear the story of me and my chronic pain. It is big and diverse. And now I know it’s worth sharing (even if only my mom reads about it)😉!

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